isalore Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 Hey! So I met this girl on a dating app a couple of weeks ago, we texted back and forth and it turned out she was living right next to where I work everyday which is outside, gardening and stuff. Also turned out we had two pets in common, really rare pets, two turtles, and we both got them when we were really young, so that was some crazy coincidences in a row. So after a couple of days she came to visit me by surprise when I was working. I felt like it went pretty well, I flirted with her, and we spoke about general things for awhile, pretty sure I sparked some attraction that moment. Later in the evening I texted her and asked if she wanted to do something on the weekend, and she wrote that it sounds nice but she didnt wanna plan anyhing ahead and set a specific day and asked me if we could leave the door open sort of, and I said sure of course we can. Couple of days later on sunday she texted me, (I didnt send any messages throughout the weekend) so this was by her own initiative. She asked me how my weekend was etc. and all of a sudden she started writing huge walls of texts about her day, what she had been up to etc, she was showing high interest and investing alot into the conversation. So we texted back and forth for awhile, I asked her a second time what her plan was next weekend, she had to work so she was busy, and then I texted her to get back to me when she had time and we could grab a coffe or something in town. I think I had no response for a week, and then I asked her how she was doing, she responded that she works all the time etc and asked me how I´ve been. Couple of days passed no conversation, asked her again how her week had been and no response at all, I felt like maybe this is where it went wrong after giving her the choice to get back to me, I was still texting her. So now it's been two weeks and curious as I am, I want to know what I did wrong, because I don´t get it, why not at least give it a chance to meet up and talk for abit see what happens? It confuses the hell out of me! Should I just let her go, or should try to contact her again somehow and ask her whats up or her thoughts on the whole thing? I know her boyfriend passed away 2 or so years ago so I guess she might be still dealing with this sorrow, she didnt say anything about this though.
Gaeta Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 It doesn't matter why, it still means she is not interested enough to make an effort. She met you, she didn't feel any special attraction so she stirred this toward a text pseudo-friendship. Her texting you walls of information about her means nothing, she just copied and paste what she had already sent to her girlfriends. Get busy finding someone else. I would not reply if she text back. . 1
preraph Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 Oh, I'm sorry. It seemed like such a good match! But for whatever reason, she doesn't want to go out and is grooming you to be "just friends." I mean, it could be the obvious reason, that she's not attracted to you enough that way, or maybe she's a little bit of a turtle herself and likes to hide in her shell. You have done nothing wrong. It's just if her attraction isn't there, you can't change her mind about that. If she had any interest in dating you, she'd have said yes. Now it's up to you whether you want to be her "just friend" or not. So if you already know you can't handle that because you'll remain infatuated with her, then best just stop returning texts or just tell her. I guess you have to run into her, so use your best judgment, but don't stay involved hoping she changes her mind. It's about attraction most likely and that won't change. And if it's about her personality, that's not likely to change either if she won't even try....
Author isalore Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 Thanks for the response! I guess it all makes sense now actually, after I gave her the ultimatum to let me know when she wanted to meet up the conversation pretty much died off immediately. So its as you guys say, she saw the whole thing as a friendship I guess. Thanks for enlightening me!
I'veseenbetterlol Posted October 3, 2019 Posted October 3, 2019 Thanks for the response! I guess it all makes sense now actually, after I gave her the ultimatum to let me know when she wanted to meet up the conversation pretty much died off immediately. So its as you guys say, she saw the whole thing as a friendship I guess. Thanks for enlightening me! Don't give ultimatums to people you aren't dating seriously. I get your frustration, been there many times. Giving ultimatums makes you look desperate. This will not push them to date you. If someone isn't texting you, delete their number and move on.
winny Posted October 3, 2019 Posted October 3, 2019 she just copied and paste what she had already sent to her girlfriends. . She is not interested but this interpretation is hilarious. I am pretty sure she was not copy pasting haha
winny Posted October 3, 2019 Posted October 3, 2019 This is what I think happened. She was talking to you and others. Every time the other guy(s) ignored her she came to you for ego boost and validation. Whether it was the surprise visit at your work place or suddenly texting you. She did not have much interest in you to begin with. Now she is maybe busy with other guy(s). If they ignore her she will come to you again. Next time if she texts you... do not respond.
Maggiemay1 Posted October 3, 2019 Posted October 3, 2019 Her turning up at your work was out of curiosity. My guess is that she didn’t feel any chemistry but went along with the flirtation out of awkwardness. Her wall of text was just using you as a sounding board. Not a suggestion of high interest at all. And her lack of committing to a meet was actually the suggestion of no or low interest. You just need to read the signs better I think?
schlumpy Posted October 3, 2019 Posted October 3, 2019 I like that you were very direct and gave her an ultimatum. It snapped you out of the emotional limbo your were in and forced her to drop the mask. Very good move on your part. That directness will serve you well in the future. BTW, did she you see the turtles that she has or did you just take her word for it? 1
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