Why are LDR so hard?

[jrugg1021]

Ahhhhh! I never believed how hard it would be to maintain a relationship where distance needed to be overcome until I just lost my boyfriend of ten months because of it.

 

My boyfriend and I had been dating for nine months when I moved two and a half hours away to go to college. We had agreed to open our relationship up while I was away at school and I had thought everything was fine. We would talk everynight and I'd come home twice a month. But one night we were talking and he started acting wierd. I told him I loved him and he confessed that he just didn't feel the same way about me anymore. I was heartbroken. He is the first person I've ever been in love with and here he was saying how he loved me but isn't IN love with me anymore.

 

I talked to him the next night and he admitted that he felt like that for a month. Well, I've been in school for a month! It just sucks that his feelings faded because I've been gone. I saw him last weekend and after the initial awkwardness went away, we joked around like nothing had happened- well minus the whole relationship part. Before I left his house, we watched a movie and he was falling asleep. I tried to leave and in his half out of it state he told me to stay. I know he still has feelings for me but he's letting his head get in the way.

 

Is there anything I can do? I'm in love with him and want to be with him. I know that I can't hope to get him back while I'm at school. I'll be home for a month and I know that when we hang out and flirt and joke around feelings will start to come back up. What should I do? I plan on moving on. But I don't want to lose him forever. We are too good together for distance to break us up. Any advice from anyone would be great. Any help healing my heart would be appreciated. Thank you

[Lil Honey]

I'm confused. You said that you both agreed to an open relationship, then you said that you plan on moving on.

 

If you started school a month ago (let's say Sept 1) and he's been feeling this way for a month (which would be roughly Sept 1), then he's been feeling like this before or as you were leaving for school.

 

Generally speaking, people act weird when they've found someone else. It's almost like both of you are keeping the other around for a safety net. You each have other plans, but you still spend time with each other. *shrugging*

 

I don't think 2 1/2 hours is a long distance, but I live in a rural area, so I'm used to long distances.

 

To answer your question, LDR are difficult because two people have to rely on communicating through talking and writing. There is no benefit of body language and facial expressions. There has to be a LOT of trust as well and that's something that has to be earned, IMHO.