iwanttoknow Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 I have met 1 lady in the library. She was nice to me in the past 2 weeks whenever i needed help because she is a librarian. Of course, she gave me many good *none-verbal* signals such as looking at me and asking me if i need help when she saw me coming. I introduced myself to her and she told me what her name is. We did shake our hand and I always say thank you AFTER she helped me. the only thing that I haven't DONE is to ASK her out. Of course, I like her whom is the ONLY reason why I go to the library. In the past 2 days, she changed all the suddenly. She pretended I wasn't even there and didn't have enthusiastically to help me at all. I currently have 2 options: 1-Back up and should not return this library any more 2-Ask her what i did wrong and hopefully, everything is OK again. please let me know what i should do. thank you very much.
seachange Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 Well, it's hard to say for sure without more info. But from what you've said, I don't see that she was really going beyond her job in being polite and helpful to you. It may be that she only just realized a couple days ago that you're interested in more than library assistance, and she's trying to say that she isn't. That's how I read it; sorry.
Author iwanttoknow Posted September 30, 2005 Author Posted September 30, 2005 while i was reading my newspaper in library 2 weeks ago, she walked in front of me at least 2 times with her eyes on me.No , she was not looking for *books* either. Her hands were basically empty. that was 1 incident. Second one, I asked her to help me with computer problem and she called her friend to help me. During that period of time, she was standing on her friend right hand side and I was on her friend left hand side. Suddently, she stood next to me on my left hand site the whole time WHILE her friend tried to figure out what computer's problem was. Third one, she apparently knows when I arrive and leave and where I seat in libarary. She was looking for me to see if i was there or not. How do I know.? my friend told me about it. After I saw what she did to me, i came up to her and introduced myself and she told me what her name was and We did shake our hand. was she still polite and everything.? I was confused when she suddenly changed this week. I tried to figure what is the best way to handle this kind of situation. any idea or suggestion.? thank you very much
Copingsaw Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 Ask her to help you with another problem and see how she reacts. Based on the limited interaction you have had with her, I'm with seachange. You may be reading too much into it.
Author iwanttoknow Posted October 1, 2005 Author Posted October 1, 2005 what kind of *another problem* should i ask to see how she reacts.? thank you.
elijahBailey Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 it could go either ways. like.. .. she's merely lookin' for some attention. And once she got it and her ego's stoked, she's off. .. you're reading waaay too deep into things. It's really easy to over-analyze a situation like this. I vote for the former. But I bet she knows exactly what's up with the whole situation and she's got you where she wants you to be. If I were in your position, I'd ignore her. Women who want a guy don't usually send out mixed signals, and do remember that women dictate the pace of the chase.
bridgett Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 I actually work in a library, so maybe I have some good insight on this. My opinion, from what info you've given, is that she has no idea you like her and she's the only reason you go to that library. She's just being nice and the sudden change has nothing to do with you. However, I say ask her out anyway. If she was initially friendly, there's a chance she might say yes. And if she doesn't, just don't go to that library anymore. I've always thought it would be kind of cool to be asked out by a patron (provided it's in a casual way when I'm not busy and my boss/coworkers are not standing right there listening).
Author iwanttoknow Posted October 3, 2005 Author Posted October 3, 2005 if i ignore her, does it make her think that i'm not interested in her any more.? thanks
elijahBailey Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 if i ignore her, does it make her think that i'm not interested in her any more.? no, it just means you can get along fine without her.
Author iwanttoknow Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 I can get along fine without her. I SHOWed it to her last week. I didn't even look at her or say anything to her. I simply tried to do my own thing. Instead of going straight to her for help, i went to her friend last week. even though I had to wait in line for help, I was willing to do that. out of curiosity, how do i know if she is not happy about it.? thanks
Author iwanttoknow Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 my next question is. if i wait in line for help and she offers to help me, will i go to her or simply wait for her friend to help me.? thanks
elijahBailey Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 you aren't really gettin' along fine if you can't her off your mind Hmm, you're a little new to this aren't you Okay, if you don't play games, just get her number and ask her out. If she says no, don't visit the library again. The other option is, if you can get along fine without her, just forget about the whole thing. My take on the situation is that she's probably not into you. She might've been before, but .... now.... I dunno. But, if you need closure, go for the former and if the answer is negative, just bolt for the door. Easy and painless
Author iwanttoknow Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 Yes, I'm new to this kind of thing. This is my FIRST. it's hard to get off your mind when a person whom you like is so beautiful.
icoN Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 I know how you feel...I can't get over this girl, and I don't know if shes showing interest in me, or just being friendly...
missmolly Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 She could be playing hard to get. Maybe you make her nervous. When I first started dating my b/f, I never looked at him. Once we started dating, though, it got better. I actually met him at his place of employment. Remember, your lady is at work. ASK HER OUT! The worst thing that could happen is that she would say no and you could move on. GOOD LUCK!
Author iwanttoknow Posted October 5, 2005 Author Posted October 5, 2005 I was thinking about asking her out BUT when I saw her change the way she *treat* me, i changed too because i am sure that i will receive "NO" if I ask. if you don't mind me ask you 1 question, how do I make her *nervous*.? I make her nervous because I haven't asked her OUT.? I want to know so that i can avoid in the future. By the way, I'm a shy person. I don't talk much UNLESS i have to.The whole situation get me so confused that i don't know what to do WHEN she SENT out all kind of *none-verbal* signals AND she suddenly change. I remembered i called her 1 time to ask about a form and she told me her name. When i went to library, i told her that i spoke to *her name* about a form. She shakingly said "you were talking to me" with an EMPHASIZED *me* in the end. Oh yeah, i saw her body shaking too. The voice is so sexy. If her co-worker wasn't there, i would definitely ASK her to do that again. Now you understand why i am so CONFUSED and can't forget that easily. This is something that I have in my mind: if i can't have her as a beautiful girlfriend, i would like to have her as a beautiful friend if you know what i mean.?
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