There are two things I want to talk about

[Tagalz]

Hey.

 

First thing first. Recently thing has happened at work. There is two girls. Let’s call them for «helen» and «Stine»

 

Helen and I have had some arguments in the past so we don’t really have good work relations. While I was held responsible for scanning every ticket both of them came down to get a table. Here is what they said to me

 

Helen: «why are you looking at me?»

 

Stine: «You forgot to close the door at theater room 6 and I don’t think the customer would be happy»

 

Both of them got me really pissed off and I did not say anything because I don’t want to argue with them causing more trouble.

 

Not only that but Helen was also making fun of my last name which I did not like and I told her that.

 

Those two things Helen did to me today was not good at all and I actually tried to ignore her as a sign that I’m either getting mad or I don’t like you.

 

My mind is telling me that I should speak to the manager about those two girls because If I don’t they would escalate it even more the next time and trust me they will work with me and other co-worker many more times in the future.

 

My suggestion when speaking to the manager is to ask if I could switch days meaning when those two girls work, then I don’t.

 

Secondly: On weekdays I work with a guy called Fredrik who isn’t really a co-worker that is well liked by the others. Me and him are closing which means I would need to stay up late just to close the cinema and not only is that making it worse but I have to wake up early for my other job.

 

Much of my time is spent working as I have two jobs. I only get to have 1 day off, meaning I work 6 days straight. Since must of my time is spent working I really do appreciate not having troubles with any of my co-worker. So me having troubles with two girls which is not my fault is making my life much harder.

Edited September 29, 2019 by Tagalz

[schlumpy]

There's only one reason why your co-workers are bothering you about such trivial matters and that's because you get upset about it and they are bored and find it amusing.

 

Instead of getting visibly and verbally upset which is what they want, give them some generic answer. Thank them for their concern for your job performance and then ignore them. I guarantee that if you stop showing how bothered you are - they will move on to the next victim.

 

This is just a part of human nature. I had to learn to deal with it and so will you. It's part of the lessons of life.

 

You could duck out by changing your work hours but are these two women really worth making your life harder?

 

Be civil but distant.

[alphamale]

if it bothers you that much you should look at possibly changing jobs

[Tagalz]

There's only one reason why your co-workers are bothering you about such trivial matters and that's because you get upset about it and they are bored and find it amusing.

 

Instead of getting visibly and verbally upset which is what they want, give them some generic answer. Thank them for their concern for your job performance and then ignore them. I guarantee that if you stop showing how bothered you are - they will move on to the next victim.

 

This is just a part of human nature. I had to learn to deal with it and so will you. It's part of the lessons of life.

 

You could duck out by changing your work hours but are these two women really worth making your life harder?

 

Be civil but distant.

 

Right now it’s not worth making my life harder for those girls. I will be more aware and the next time they do something I will try to deal with them. However if they don’t stop then I for certainly will speak to the manager

[d0nnivain]

If Helen asked why you were looking at her, you probably weren't just looking. You may have been staring which was making her uncomfortable. There have been other posts you have made which make me wonder if you have trouble reading social cues.

 

Her making fun of your name was personal & unprofessional. That you can complain to the manager about.

 

Stine gave you constructive criticism about the requirements of your job. If you left a door open that was supposed to be closed because closing it enhances the customer experience you were in the wrong for leaving it open.

 

I'm not sure what the problem with Frederik is. If you can't work late because you can't get up to do your other job, that is not your employer's fault. They aren't going to change your schedule to accommodate your other job.

[preraph]

I do agree that this little job can be replaced by some other part-time job if it's that unpleasant.

 

If someone said to me, Why are you staring at me, I'd probably say something back like, You always think people are staring at you, or, Wishful thinking and roll my eyes.

 

The other comment was work related and maybe ok and maybe not, but you have no grounds to fuss about it.

[The Outlaw]

And once again you're giving people too much power over you. They've found that weakness and now they're just going to poke and prod you. Try speaking to the manager about a schedule change when they aren't working. Less stress that way.

[Tagalz]

 

The other comment was work related and maybe ok and maybe not, but you have no grounds to fuss about it.

 

 

I don’t agree with you on that preraph. It’s unnecessary to add «The customer won’t be happy» Almost as if she did it on purpose because she don’t like me.

[Tagalz]

 

Stine gave you constructive criticism about the requirements of your job. If you left a door open that was supposed to be closed because closing it enhances the customer experience you were in the wrong for leaving it open.

 

.

 

I don’t agree. Did you know that Abdi was defending me after Stine said that the customer won’t be happy? It’s unnecessary and she did it on purpose just to have a point that she don’t like me.

 

She could have said this instead «did you remember to close the door? If not I think you should do it after you have scanned all the ticket»

[Veronica73]

I don’t agree with you on that preraph. It’s unnecessary to add «The customer won’t be happy» Almost as if she did it on purpose because she don’t like me.

 

I think you’re being overly sensitive. And this is coming from a VERY sensitive person.

[Tagalz]

Hey.

 

On my last thread I was talking about Helen who made fun of my last name. This is an update to that thread.

 

I reported that to the manager and he called her up to the office so all of us three people could sit down and talk.

 

I told her that I don’t like it at all and wanted her to quit doing it. She said that when someone tell me to stop I stop but I did not believe her so I just said it out right away. While I was saying it I added that I know how she is based on how many times I’ve worked with her. Meaning I know that she is lying when she say «Ill stop when you tell me to stop»

 

My last sentence was that it’s better to say it right now and clear things up so it does not happend in the future because what you did could possible be escalated to you bullying me.

 

Furthermore......

 

She asked me to leave the office for a bit so she could speak to the manager alone. As you may not know or you will know now when I write it. Her and the manager are really good friends and have extremely good work relations and all of our co-worker can see that because of how much they laugh together when they work.

 

Couple of minutes later....

 

This is what Helen said:» Is there anything more you want to say to me? Because if you do it’s best to say it all out instead of you walking around and OVERTHINK things because I was just joking with you when I was making fun of your last name.»

 

She was not done with. She proceed to say: «Me and the manager thinks that you are sometimes unsure of yourself. Joking with you makes you hurt but after that you come back and say that you want us to joke with you. So I have no clue on what’s crossing the line for you is»

 

In short: She’s being honest but at the same time rude. We were talking about joking and she went as far to say that I have to work on myself and that my head is not good. The manager did not say much rather than explaining to me why Helen is like that»

 

TODAY: There was a Co-worker named Tom who were talking behind my back. He told the manager «Can I speak to you?» and both where having a private chat in the corner. All this happened after I did something wrong in a situation.

 

I did not hear what Tom said but I just know that he was talking behind my back.

 

Summary: out off all the co-workers we have I only have problems with 3. Helen, Stine and Tom. We are many employees. I would say around 30+

 

To be honest me and Helen is all good now and I don’t really care about her anymore and I don’t think she would do anything either after we had the talk.

 

ONLY thing I’m a bit worried about is Tom because yes he telling the manager is putting me in a bad light. He could possible be telling our co-workers in the future.

[schlumpy]

I did not hear what Tom said but I just know that he was talking behind my back.

 

Summary: out off all the co-workers we have I only have problems with 3. Helen, Stine and Tom. We are many employees. I would say around 30+

 

To be honest me and Helen is all good now and I don’t really care about her anymore and I don’t think she would do anything either after we had the talk.

 

ONLY thing I’m a bit worried about is Tom because yes he telling the manager is putting me in a bad light. He could possible be telling our co-workers in the future.

 

So you only have trouble with 2 out of 30 employees. I'd say that's pretty good. I had many more enemies than that. I even had the manger after me at one time. It was a vendetta.

 

What did I do? I did the best job I could. I was where I was supposed to be and I did exactly what I was told. For about six months I was the perfect employee and he got tired of chasing me around.

 

This is normal workplace nonsense that you will have to ignore and learn how to handle. You can change jobs but Tom, Helen and Stine will be there also.

 

So, focus on your work. Make sure it's better or as good as anyone else and this will become background noise.

[Tagalz]

So you only have trouble with 2 out of 30 employees. I'd say that's pretty good. I had many more enemies than that. I even had the manger after me at one time. It was a vendetta.

 

What did I do? I did the best job I could. I was where I was supposed to be and I did exactly what I was told. For about six months I was the perfect employee and he got tired of chasing me around.

 

This is normal workplace nonsense that you will have to ignore and learn how to handle. You can change jobs but Tom, Helen and Stine will be there also.

 

So, focus on your work. Make sure it's better or as good as anyone else and this will become background noise.

 

I would not say it’s pretty good because I might have problems with other co-worker in the near future. For now it’s just good.

 

Yes I can relate to that because I don’t talk much and I’m just focusing in doing my job at work. Why did the managere go after you? For what reason?

[schlumpy]

Yes I can relate to that because I don’t talk much and I’m just focusing in doing my job at work. Why did the managere go after you? For what reason?

 

A friend of mine became the boss and beat my nemesis out. Since my workplace enemy couldn't openly go after my friend (who was now the boss) he focused his ire on me.

 

Years later my friend retired and my workplace enemy finally moved up. I seemed to be his secondary target.

 

The unfortunate thing is that within two years he contracted leukemia, took early retirement and expired about three months later. He was not exactly a healthy person.

 

I was glad he was gone but I took no pleasure in his death. I would much rather that he left and enjoyed a long happy retirement.

[preraph]

When she said she had no idea how you wanted her to act, you should have said, How about polite and professional?

[Tagalz]

When she said she had no idea how you wanted her to act, you should have said, How about polite and professional?

 

I’m still a little pissed of when she told me to seek help... like I’m here trying to make things good and she just wants to argue with me even more? If I wanted I could but did not cause I controlled myself.. Atleast I can control myself more than she does

[The Outlaw]

Telling her to quit doing it may motivate her to do it even more if the meeting fell on deaf ears. Trust me. Some people will do anything to poke or prod you to get a rise out of you. And she has.

[Tagalz]

Telling her to quit doing it may motivate her to do it even more if the meeting fell on deaf ears. Trust me. Some people will do anything to poke or prod you to get a rise out of you. And she has.

 

Apparently she has been spreading rumours about me after we had the talk. I got it confirmed by my co-worker who I have good relations with. She just told me that Helen has been talking about me BUT she did not say what it was about.

[Tagalz]

Hey.

 

Do you remember Helen? The girl who is proding me? The girl who jokes with me like I’m her best friend?

 

A short brief: We both sat down with the manager and were talking about her making fun of my last name and other things like her making me uncomfortable by joking to me like I’m her best friend.

 

Sure she did have her own opinions saying that I overthink things and Yes it’s my fault for not seeing the difference between a joke or no joke but she is hard to read. I was still honest about it saying to her that it’s best not to joke with me.

 

HOWEVER THIS DOES NOT GIVE HER RIGHT TO GO BEHIND MY BACK.

 

One of my co-worker who I get along with very well (Let’s call her Emma) told me that Helen has said something about me. If Helen told Emma that means she has probably been talking behind my back to everyone else.

 

Emma did not say what it was about.... she just told me that Helen has been talking about me.

 

**Oh and all of this happened after me, Helen and the manager had the talk**

 

The worst thing is, is that I cannot confront her since I don’t have any prof of what is being said about me.

 

The question here is: Should I just let her talk behind my back? OR should I let this go because I don’t know what’s being told about me.

Edited October 14, 2019 by Tagalz