elaine567 Posted September 28, 2019 Posted September 28, 2019 I told her that’s what I wanted to do instead of keeping it myself Yes he said it because he was drunk, but he told the truth, he let it slip out, and now he wants to minimise it. He wishes he had lied... If he wants a threesome, he needs to find women who want it too. Suggesting such stuff to gfs, very rarely goes down well... Gfs tend to want to be "the one", they want romance and love, they tend not to want to be starring in something straight out of porn... 1
d0nnivain Posted September 28, 2019 Posted September 28, 2019 Isn’t she kind of blowing this out of proportion? How bad is it? She's not blowing anything out of proportion. At a mere 60 days in you two are just scratching the surface of getting to know each other. What she has learned is that you are different, wilder person when you have been drinking. You have certain desires she does not share & is turned off by. That part of you is something she wants no part of. Dating is an audition / a try out if you will. It's a way for people to determine if they are compatible. She has not been made to face 2 things she doesn't like: Your drinking & your sexual preferences. That doesn't mean you are incompatible on all planes. It doesn't mean she will endeavor to control you, or dictate when & where you can see your friends. However if there are more of these points of incompatibility, she may chose to stop dating you. That would be OK because it would also leave you free to find a partner who wants to go out drinking & get wild with you. 1
kendahke Posted September 28, 2019 Posted September 28, 2019 (edited) Isn’t she kind of blowing this out of proportion? How bad is it? The "real you " has come to the fore and the "real her" doesn't like him. She discovered you are a mean drunk and now she's rethinking the wisdom in being with you. Last night i had tequila and called her drunk. I said, “yea if you and I were together right now I’d go up to a woman and ask her for a threesome”. Then I apparently kept saying how I’m a pervert. She said that when I do drink I clearly want to approach another woman for sex, especially since I told her that’s what I wanted to do instead of keeping it myself. You might want to leave tequila alone when in relationships. or find a woman who doesn't mind a mean drunk or threesomes. I'm sure they're out there somewhere. Just kind of makes her wonder what happens when I wants to go out with my friends and end I up drinking . Do you proposition other men for threesomes when out with your boys? Edited September 28, 2019 by kendahke 3
Twizzlestick Posted September 29, 2019 Posted September 29, 2019 You sound young. I went out the other night properly and saw the drunk young guys. They think they look so cool when with their mates on a night out but Er, far from it. They look like children with the phoney group “macho” Schtick - talking loudly and aggressively, play fighting each other, saying “edgy” things. It was a shock to see how cringeworthy drunk young blokes are - I’ve not been out in years. I used to do it all them time in my early twenties. Hope I wasn’t like that. I don’t think I was at all actually. Embarrassing. Don’t be that man child. Maybe knock the booze on the head, it has a shelf life of being fun anyway. 1
SumGuy Posted September 29, 2019 Posted September 29, 2019 ... This morning she said that we needed to talk. She said, Everyone fantasizes, I get that, but now your drinking makes me uneasy (I try not drink around her and told her that tequila gets me wild). She said that when I do drink you clearly want to approach another woman for sex, especially since I told her that’s what I wanted to do instead of keeping it myself. That it really turned her off and this a big red flag. Just kind of makes her wonder what happens when I wants to go out with my friends and end I up drinking. Isn’t she kind of blowing this out of proportion? How bad is it? Duh, of course she is upset. She should be and she is not overreacting. Sounds like you told her over and over. And few find the drunk call attractive, it is usually beyond obnoxious. Of course she is worried what you might do when drunk and with friends, in vino veritas they say. Your behavior is a big red flag, which gets bigger if you can't see how it would be to her. It may be you would be perfectly cool with it if she told you she had fantasies of going up to some guy at the bar for a threesome. like all the time, like she is looking at a guy now she'd like to do that with. I personally have little patience for people who know they get "wild" when drunk and then continue to get drunk yet try to use being drunk as an excuse for their behavior. You know you act this way when drunk, so don't get drunk. Period. People try to use intoxication as an excuse for their bad behavior all the time. It's a self imposed disability though. You decided to drink, no one forced it down your throat. So you intended to be an a**hat as you know that is a natural consequence of when you drink tequila. No excuses. You intend the natural consequences of your actions. Now as to your desires. To each their own. I see nothing wrong with threesomes. If that is what a group of consenting adults are in to. Not everyone is though, I'd say most are not. 1
notbroken Posted September 30, 2019 Posted September 30, 2019 You do have a drinking problem. You say and likely do stupid things when you are drunk. Period. You may not be an alcoholic but you do meet the definition a friend once told me - he said you are an alcoholic if alcohol causes you problems. It clearly has for you so draw your own conclusion. Stop drinking for a while. Maybe a month. Maybe 3. Tell your girlfriend you are sorry for what happened and won't be drinking for a long while. Your response will likely be "I am NOT an alcoholic so don't need to quit" . If you aren't an alcoholic then you don't 'need' to drink. So quit for a while. It clearly caused you a problem and isn't worth the trouble (the drinking). 2
Flame Aura Posted September 30, 2019 Posted September 30, 2019 Nothing worse that someone that can't handle their drink, does stupid things and then blames it on the drink, and thinks they have done nothing wrong. Loser.
acapelo_dp Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 It sounds like your drinking has impacting your relationship significantly. Do you have a pattern of saying things like this while under the influence? I wouldn't say you are an alcoholic. A problem drinker? Most likely. Based on the fact you lose control of the amount you drink and experience negative consequences due to drinking. Your girlfriend is right to set some boundaries with you after that comment. She is not overreacting and she has no reason to trust you while you are out drinking now. It's up to her now where to go from here.
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