Met him 2 weeks ago... He seems to be trying to move fast.. RED flag?

[MysteryLuvsCompany8]

I met this guy via Facebook about 2 weeks ago (he knows my parents, they have mutual friends) --though we have been "friends" on Facebook for close to a year we had never interacted until he messaged me after I "liked" one of his post that stated it was his birthday...(IF IT MATTERS, HE JUST TURNED 50 YEARS OLD AND I AM 30 YEARS OLD)

 

Fast forward, he messaged me telling me thank you for the happy birthday and then immediately (after about 2 messages) asked if he could call me sometime... I told him let's chat through messenger for a bit just to see if we had things in common... turns out we did and I told him I'd take his number since I'd be deactivating Facebook soon.

 

We met up like a week after conversing via phone & he took me out to a movie..

 

I got up to go to the restroom during the movie and he stated "Are you leaving me?' in which I found strange....

 

SO after we went to the movies we went to a couple of stores together & he was like "too bad it's so late, I wanted to go to your parents home & talk with them/cook for them".. In which I expressed to him I thought that it may be premature for our first meet...

 

I agreed to go hang out at his room with him because I was enjoying his company... We did not go all the way because I was not ready but I gave in and allowed him to preform oral sex on me

 

He has brought up us being together, having babies, and getting a place together (he is a truck driver and says he currently lives out of his truck in which I am not sure how I feel about that due to him being an older man (a divorced father of one child).... he also asked me was I talking with a boyfriend when my phone ringed and I happened to be responding to a text.

 

From what I am seeing he is a nice enough guy however it seems like theres a rush on things... could it be due to his age?

 

He also tells me how much he likes me and wants/needs me in his life...

 

I've experienced love bombing before and really don't wanna go down that path again HOWEVER I also don't want to guard myself so much and block something that could be good...

 

What do you all think???

[winny]

you are 30. you can do better. you dont need to date a 50 year old insecure man who lives in a truck.

[Love2015]

You are young and you should enjoy what life has to offer. Pursue your dreams...Career? Travel? Health? Friends?

 

Go slow with the right person. I would politely reject him. Do u even like him? Seems more like an ego lifting thing.

 

Find yourself and choose wisely. No need into getting into any drama.

[Gretchen12]

He's just a "nice enough guy" to you. Why bother? Find a guy that really turns you on, sets your heart aflutter, one that you really want to love and accept.

[ExpatInItaly]

There are so many red flags here, OP.

 

I would not proceed. He is not behaving like a mature, 50-year-old man. You are right to be concerned.

[TheFinalWord]

Is this real life? How did this guy do this?

 

Yeah, he's in heaven and getting ahead of himself. He's on the verge of having sex with a girl 20 years younger than him. Don't get me wrong, age isn't that huge of a deal breaker these days, if other things line up. But he's a truck driver and lives in his truck? Divorced with a kid?

 

Why would he want to have kids when he can't provide them with a home?

 

I don't understand why you let this guy go so far with you, but yeah, these are red flags. If you really like the guy, tell him he needs to slow wayyy down. If he doesn't get the hint, drop him. I would tell you to wait a while before having sex, but doesn't sound like you'll listen. But that's just going to complicate things and get your feelings involved, when you're intuition is already telling you to put the brakes on. If everything was okay, you would not feel a need to post about it here.

[basil67]

run Forrest run

[kendahke]

What do you all think???

 

that a lot is lost to interpretation between a 30 yr old and a 50 yr old.

 

What exactly do you get out of this interaction?

[I'veseenbetterlol]

When someone moves fast it can either be love bombing or indicative of a controlling person. He sounds like a controlling person and that is really bad. I dated a guy like this for only 3 weeks and that scared me. He wanted to do everything lightning fast, saying he wanted to be together forever. He was the definition of crazy and I'm so thankful I was able to leave. Tell him it isn't working out. There are nice guys out there who will check off every box for you, not just a few.

[d0nnivain]

Him rushing things has absolutely nothing to do with his age. He's desperate & needy. He wants a woman, any woman & you are the one giving him attention.

 

this is not a stable man with his act together. Proceed with extreme caution. Those are in fact gigantic red flags you are seeing. The age difference alone would make me think twice. In 20 years you will be 50 & he will be 70. Do you really want to be a caregiver?

[beldar]

Well, from my perspective, it's pretty hard to tell. From what you've shared it sounds seriously weird.

 

 

You know what? From the day that I met my now wife it was only three weeks before I proposed to her. However, we were so CONNECTED.!!!

 

 

We had like , this, like, telepathy!

 

 

We were so in tune, you would not believe it.

 

 

It was like nothing I had ever experienced before, nor since.

 

 

If you do not have that, ..... don't do it.

[Lotsgoingon]

If you're asking if something is a red flag, 99.99 percent of the time, it is a red flag.

 

Asking just means your rational mind can't fully articulate what alarms you ... But ... if you're asking if such and such behavior is a red flag, then that usually means your intuition is poking you in the stomach, trying to get your attention.

 

Wanting to cook for your parents so soon in the relationship. Run. Fast. Now. Disappear. Total lack of social skill on his part. Strange. Baffling.

 

And the movie question--come on now. Why are you even asking if this is a red flag? Well I get it: you're so confused by the behavior that part of your mind thinks "I must be missin' something." No, you aren't. You are just stunned and speechless to learn that there are people who are as socially inept as this guy is.

 

You bet it's a red flag ... and red light and a red flaming fire.

[RecentChange]

Holy s*#@!!!!!!

 

Dear you have a full on parade of red flags. They are endless and flapping in your face!

 

This is not how long healthy relationships start.

 

Retreat!!!! Retreat!!!! DANGER DANGER

 

I honestly don't know where to start - but the first warning to bonk you over the head was that text at the movies.

 

Not normal, not okay, don't proceed

[nothingsintheflowerz]

run Forrest run

 

:laugh:

[mark clemson]

You are right to be concerned. I'd ballpark estimate the chances of this ending well at about 1 in 50,000. Just my opinion.

[stillafool]

In the future don't "give in" to guys who want sex. Do it because you want to do it not because they put pressure on you.