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BF criticizes me and puts me down most of the time. Why????

Taryanoriley

By Taryanoriley
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Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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He does this because he's a bully. Bullies like bullying and hurting other people.

 

Get out! This is not what an even half-way-decent (not even fully decent) relationship is like.

 

Bullies gravitate to and pick on people they think won't stand up for themselves.

 

Exit.

  • Like 1
crispytoast Established Member

crispytoast

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Negging is supposed to be kind of half-insult half-compliment which shows interest but makes the woman qualify herself. For example rather than "you're fat", negging would be "you're quite hot, if you lost a few pounds you could be a model".

 

I don't think this guy is negging, he's just a douche. Or if he's trying to neg, he's doing it wrong.

Fair enough.

CT98 Established Member

CT98

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EJECT!! EJECT!!

 

Your life partner is supposed to be your best friend and confident. Someone who lifts you up not puts you down.

 

It’s an overused word but I feel I have to bring your attention to it. Narcissism. You don’t want that in your life. RUN.

  • Like 1
fromheart Established Member

fromheart

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I couldn't agree more with the vast majority of responses here.

 

A mature, healthy, and caring man would never insult his SO - even in private. There is no fine line between teasing and insulting, despite what you or others may think. Simply put he's conditioned for some reason to talk down to you and insult you. That behavior does not change over night and it's not your job to fix him.

 

Say goodbye to this one and as one or two people mentioned, once you break up, use the alone time to discover yourself and why you would put up with that sort of behavior more than once.

 

Mature, healthy, and caring men compliment their SO, they champion them, they support them, they care about them.

 

 

This is very true. But the sad fact is that the abusive bad boy gets the girls. Works the other way around also. 'Treat them mean, keep them keen.'

 

A man who is too nice, available etc will have a hard time getting a partner. These men usually get regarded as weak. Often, this is true as the nice guy usually ends up being emotionally abused.

 

But obviously being a bad boy, isn't the right way to be. But women have to say no to abusive bad boys, or they will always be there. Likewise, good men have to say no to abusive women.

Maddie82 Established Member

Maddie82

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This is emotional abuse. Why do you let him do it? Why are you still with him? If you stay it will get worse and he'll reduce you to an emotional mess. Ditch this idiot for you're own sanity.

  • Like 1
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Taryanoriley Member

Taryanoriley

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I dyed my hair black and boyfriend has been complaining about it and telling me I need to change it, that I look 10 years older, I look like a junkie and a slut. I like it because I have pale skin and it looks good with my skin tone, even my friend says she likes it. Is it wrong that I am very angry at him?:( Was it right of him to say those things? My hair was brown before btw.

crispytoast Established Member

crispytoast

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Yes you are right to be angry.

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Are we surprised?

Your last thread was all about him putting you down and him saying mean and nasty things to you. He even told you he does it on purpose to make you mad and upset.

Did you really think he was going to miraculously change?

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Not liking your hair color is apparently just one more subject in a long line of things your BF criticizes you about in a demeaning & meanspirited way. He's not a nice person. You can't expect support from him & you need to break up with him.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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OP, your last thread was also about what a jerk he is to you. He's not going to change.

 

What are you still doing with him?

  • Like 2
Beendaredonedat Established Member

Beendaredonedat

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It's called negging and it's pickup artist bull **** that's intended to control women who have low self-esteem. If he was doing this from the start it's not going to get any better. No advice that we can give you will change him. Imo you should leave this prick and spend some time single figuring out how to improve your self-image.

 

Also your name is awesome :)

 

I don't believe its "Negging." Negging is not as overt as this guy is. He told her she looked like a slut. That is outright nasty.

Negging would have been more of a positive putdown like: "Gee your hair is a nice colour... It would look really good on your mother."

 

Op: Why do you stay with a jerk? What is missing in you that you tolerate the way he treats you?

  • Like 1
Rayce Established Member

Rayce

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This is the exact type of behavior my exH use to show me. Because of my upbringing I was clueless that this was considered emotional abuse. It took my doctor to prescribe a divorce for me to act. Imagine how surprised I was when my doctor wrote out an actual prescription that said to get a divorce. He told me that my husband was killing me slowly and if I stayed with him I would end up killing myself because my self esteem was so low.

 

You deserve better... a day of loneliness is better than any day of abuse!

 

wishing you peace...

Edited by Rayce
  • Like 1
BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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The simple truth is, nobody can convince you that you deserve better... you have to decide that for yourself.

  • Like 3
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Why he does this? because your BF is a very blunt honest person. He says it like it is, and when he doesn't like something he's gonna tell you.

 

If you want him to be happy, change back to your original hair colour and don't do that again. He told you he hates it, so why would you keep it when it turns him off so bad. If you keep this up he's gonna break up with you.

FMW Established Member

FMW

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you have to decide that for yourself.

 

Very true. OP, at some point soon hopefully you'll reach your limit and walk away.

  • Like 1
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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I can't remember whose tag line it is (apologies)...but yeah at this point you are doing this to yourself. Some of the blame for staying in a situation where you feel this way is squarely on you. Why in the world would you let people control your destiny and your emotions? You don't like your emotions about a certain situation or comment than it's on you to do something to change the story. Your story. Good luck

anika99 Established Member

anika99

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OP are you even reading the replies? Do you understand the replies?

 

This isn't even about your boyfriend, there are a million others who are just like him; this is about you and why you have chosen this person for yourself. If you stick around in this relationship then you can expect more of the same behaviour from him or worse. If you don't like that then don't stick around. If you stay with this guy then you are showing that you accept poor treatment so when he treats you poorly you will have only yourself to blame. So what are you going to do?

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Like many emotionally abused women she doesn't want to leave, she wants him to change.

She doesn't leave, he doesn't change = misery

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