Sassydiva Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 In this case, I mean a love interest. He is cold when you initiate texts/calls, but if you pull back then he comes back to being warm and asking to initiate..it doesn’t seem balanced...
Gaeta Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 You don't handle it, you drop it and move on to someone with a 'sustained' interest. 6
Author Sassydiva Posted September 24, 2019 Author Posted September 24, 2019 I agree with you...and my gut told me this..he comes on fully interested when I pull back...I wish it was easier to meet someone who can be more dependable..I don’t have good luck meeting guys online who aren’t partiers or still stuck on their ex
smackie9 Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 Any psychologist will tell you to dump and run this type of person.
Author Sassydiva Posted September 24, 2019 Author Posted September 24, 2019 Any psychologist will tell you to dump and run this type of person.its definitely a red flag
Gaeta Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 I had 200 1st dates before meeting my boyfriend. I had tons and tons of 2-3-4 dates with same guy that lead nowhere, maybe 4-5 men that lasted 1-2 months and finally my bf, dating 4 years now. For some people it's easy and it happens right away, for others like me it took 3,5 years online. The irony is I was the very first woman my bf met online. . 2
Author Sassydiva Posted September 24, 2019 Author Posted September 24, 2019 I had 200 1st dates before meeting my boyfriend. I had tons and tons of 2-3-4 dates with same guy that lead nowhere, maybe 4-5 men that lasted 1-2 months and finally my bf, dating 4 years now. For some people it's easy and it happens right away, for others like me it took 3,5 years online. The irony is I was the very first woman my bf met online. . your right..have to get out there and stop wasting time on things that are leading nowhere... 2
Gretchen12 Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 If you were more aloof the hot and cold won't bother you. The problem is when he is hot, he managed to convince you. If you can't help being affected by the hot then you have no choice but to detach completely. Hoping he'd be consistent is not an option.
kendahke Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 How do you handle someone who runs hot and cold? I don't. I set them adrift. 1
BaileyB Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 Yup. As they say, ain’t nobody got time for that.
DrNo1962 Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 Date other men and keep him as a back-up. He doesn't deserve your time/attention until he consistently shows a high level of interest in you.
winny Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 I agree with you...and my gut told me this..he comes on fully interested when I pull back...I wish it was easier to meet someone who can be more dependable..I don’t have good luck meeting guys online who aren’t partiers or still stuck on their ex being single is better than being with these kind of hot/cold guys. it exhausts you emotionally.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 You leave...There is nothing you can do to get him to respect you.
Love2015 Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 You run...and slam the door leaving them behind. You read other people's post like mine and practice to run the marathon.... Honestly coming from a person like myself who is a dating online disaster ...there is NO point to start dancing hot and cold. The hot is tapping into your emotions, empathy, desire of wanting to be loved....the cold is tapping into your insecurities, your traumas and seeing how much can you get pulled back.... I got pulled back and a LOT even very recently. When you dettach and observe it, you realize it's not worth wasting time. Find who you are, set boundaries for yourself and find the person who will treat as you want. To know what you want ...you find yourself first. Date yourself instead of the hot / cold. Look dream of your type of relationship..will someone whose hot / cold be the kind of person you want to be with? If so go ahead...if not RUN. Fyi....easier said than done but try.
Soak Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 You don't handle it, you drop it and move on to someone with a 'sustained' interest. This. The overall consensus on this board is to cut and run. He either has psychological, self esteem issues, or is using you as an ego boost after a break up. They try to make you feel special with their constant push and pull (oh, aren't i lucky? This 'hard to get' person must like me), but in reality they are dysfunctional self-centred children. Move on. You can do better.. A lot better.
fromheart Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 In this case, I mean a love interest. He is cold when you initiate texts/calls, but if you pull back then he comes back to being warm and asking to initiate..it doesn’t seem balanced... You dump them. There is no other solution. It lacks self respect, tp emotionally invest with such a person.
Author Sassydiva Posted September 26, 2019 Author Posted September 26, 2019 Date other men and keep him as a back-up. He doesn't deserve your time/attention until he consistently shows a high level of interest in you. Best thing to do
Author Sassydiva Posted September 26, 2019 Author Posted September 26, 2019 You run...and slam the door leaving them behind. You read other people's post like mine and practice to run the marathon.... Honestly coming from a person like myself who is a dating online disaster ...there is NO point to start dancing hot and cold. The hot is tapping into your emotions, empathy, desire of wanting to be loved....the cold is tapping into your insecurities, your traumas and seeing how much can you get pulled back.... I got pulled back and a LOT even very recently. When you dettach and observe it, you realize it's not worth wasting time. Find who you are, set boundaries for yourself and find the person who will treat as you want. To know what you want ...you find yourself first. Date yourself instead of the hot / cold. Look dream of your type of relationship..will someone whose hot / cold be the kind of person you want to be with? If so go ahead...if not RUN. Fyi....easier said than done but try. it’s hard but I have to run far far away..he knows what ignoring does to my emotions. Sometimes he shows slot of attention, other times he will text and we send a couple back and forth, and then I get ignored. I don’t need his breadcrumbs
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 Sassydiva: keeping someone as a back up is a waste of your energy and time. Genuine men won't waste their time with a woman that keeps 'back ups' or 'orbiters'. It doesn't come across as very serious.
preraph Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 Don't waste time on someone who is lukewarm with you. They're not going to come around to being all in. and the only other reason someone would be like that as if they were a big flake or distracted or already involved with someone else and cheating on them
Author Sassydiva Posted September 26, 2019 Author Posted September 26, 2019 Yes...you are right..he’s off
olivetree Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 Do not keep anyone as a backup. Focus your time and energy solely on men who give you what you want.
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