Blind-Sided Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 Hard to say. It sounds like he does reach out, and wanted to meet... but then it doesn't work out for one reason or another. I guess if it was me, and I really wanted to go out with someone... I would be looking for a time, especially if I had to cancel because of work. I guess if this has been happening over a few weeks time (since you got back from vacation) ... then he may be leading you on... or keeping you in the wings while he is with someone else. If we are talking a few days since you got back... then give him a little time.
Author Chrys31 Posted August 14, 2019 Author Posted August 14, 2019 Its been a few days but in general i dont know what he wants and i am considering to maybe end it
Blind-Sided Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 If it's been a few days... and the relationships is new... and you were gone... then give him a chance. People get busy, and since he has a job where he has to be on-call... then he honestly may just not have time.
stillafool Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 Its been a few days but in general i dont know what he wants and i am considering to maybe end it It sounds like he just wants sex whenever he gets time. Don't let men lead with the sex talk before you get to know them. He can't make time for you but is letting you know when he ever gets around to you he wants sex. What is so special about this guy that has you waiting? 1
Author Chrys31 Posted August 14, 2019 Author Posted August 14, 2019 It sounds like he just wants sex whenever he gets time. Don't let men lead with the sex talk before you get to know them. He can't make time for you but is letting you know when he ever gets around to you he wants sex. What is so special about this guy that has you waiting? Im suspecting that too but he had told me he doesnt only want sex,??
Reznar Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 Just wait a bit. Ask to meet him one more time. If he flakes, then tell him to call you when he is ready to meet up and go on with your life. He sounds genuinely busy, but one more flake would be a bit too much. Some people just like to take it slow, and maybe it is a good thing, but you should have met up at least once by this point.
Watercolors Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 This situation reeks of a guy who is giving you excuses for meeting up unless it has to do with just casual sex. If a guy really is genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with a woman, he doesn't 'future talk' (huge red flag, future talk is; it's just a way to entice you to believe the fantasy he's creating around a casual sex set-up). Personally, I'd drop this guy. All he's really offered you is excuse after excuse about how his life prevents him from seeing you on a regular basis. Sorry, that's lame. If he was truly interested in seeing you regularly, his communication with you wouldn't be erratic, and he wouldn't conveniently have excuses to see you regularly, unless it's solely for casual sex meetups. 1
Author Chrys31 Posted August 14, 2019 Author Posted August 14, 2019 Just wait a bit. Ask to meet him one more time. If he flakes, then tell him to call you when he is ready to meet up and go on with your life. He sounds genuinely busy, but one more flake would be a bit too much. Some people just like to take it slow, and maybe it is a good thing, but you should have met up at least once by this point. We have met several times and had sex too. Im just concerned that he seems flakey like he doesnt know what he wants
Author Chrys31 Posted August 14, 2019 Author Posted August 14, 2019 This situation reeks of a guy who is giving you excuses for meeting up unless it has to do with just casual sex. If a guy really is genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with a woman, he doesn't 'future talk' (huge red flag, future talk is; it's just a way to entice you to believe the fantasy he's creating around a casual sex set-up). Personally, I'd drop this guy. All he's really offered you is excuse after excuse about how his life prevents him from seeing you on a regular basis. Sorry, that's lame. If he was truly interested in seeing you regularly, his communication with you wouldn't be erratic, and he wouldn't conveniently have excuses to see you regularly, unless it's solely for casual sex meetups. we had dated also without sex. but ye he seems flakey But thats what im wondering about. 1.Whether to just leave it and keep looking and dont send any message. When he sends me keep him going but keep looking nevertheless 2. End it when he contacts me next time 3. Have a convo face to face. Im not sure what to do. I am talking currently to another guy online anyway
Watercolors Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 If you're already talking to another guy, then why bother following up with this guy? If you really want to get a straight answer from him, ask him to meet in person and have a face to face conversation.
stillafool Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 He knows what he wants. To go on about his business and see you if and when it's convenient for him. Even if you've already had sex he still acts as if that is all he wants. Are you the only woman he sees or is he dating others? That could be another reason he's so busy.
Reznar Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 We have met several times and had sex too. Im just concerned that he seems flakey like he doesnt know what he wants Then just ask him to meet one more time. If he doesn't want to, just tell him to call when he wants to meet up and continue with your life. It's his turn to set the meet.
OatsAndHall Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 After four or months of dating, I s'pose I would hope for a little more of a time-commitment out of someone. I understand that people have lives and get busy but I would be hesitant to continue to date them if they didn't make time to hang out. I'm also a bit particular about establishing set plans and sticking with them. We talk about getting together, we find a day and time that works and we go from there. I don't have a lot of patience for the "I'll let you know" mindset; I'm going to make other plans if time can't be made to hang out.
stillafool Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 I agree plus I wouldn't be too keen about a guy who isn't excited to see and be with me. That alone would make me move on.
Author Chrys31 Posted August 14, 2019 Author Posted August 14, 2019 After four or months of dating, I s'pose I would hope for a little more of a time-commitment out of someone. I understand that people have lives and get busy but I would be hesitant to continue to date them if they didn't make time to hang out. I'm also a bit particular about establishing set plans and sticking with them. We talk about getting together, we find a day and time that works and we go from there. I don't have a lot of patience for the "I'll let you know" mindset; I'm going to make other plans if time can't be made to hang out. well he could be dating others but that to me it seems like he is flakey and doesnt know what he wants maybe. Or maybe he wants an escape from his routine when he feels like it. Basically i dont see the point to have anoither convo via text as we already had this convo and it didnt get me very far. So either i will end it by text or i will meet face to face
stillafool Posted August 14, 2019 Posted August 14, 2019 Why do you have to announce an "end" to it unless he contacts you again. Why do you have to meet him face to face when you aren't even in a relationship with him? If you feel he is flakey and doesn't know what he wants why bother further? Are you hoping to make him do better?
Author Chrys31 Posted August 14, 2019 Author Posted August 14, 2019 Why do you have to announce an "end" to it unless he contacts you again. Why do you have to meet him face to face when you aren't even in a relationship with him? If you feel he is flakey and doesn't know what he wants why bother further? Are you hoping to make him do better? no i wont just annoujnce an end like that. Only if he contacts. Then i will just say this is not working for me and thats it
Author Chrys31 Posted September 24, 2019 Author Posted September 24, 2019 I am dating with someone since April. He told me that he is looking for a relationship. I only have seen him 6 times all this time. I know that he has some problems regarding the new home he has bought and moving is and also he is a single dad but no full custody. We met around 2 weeks ago and we had sex for a short while at my place.We said we wanna meet next time for longer etc and he has apologised for not been able to see me lately. He also asked me if i missed him and he said he missed me a lot I asked him after he left to go for drinks the week after. He said that ok he could and we could go to a certain area. The days pass and no text at all. Finally, last Saturday I sent him a msg to go out if he wanted at that day. He said he had all day to be out to buy stuff for his new house etc. For me that was really . the last straw. I said to him that he doesnt seem like he wants to go out with me and I think that i wont bother him again he said that he doesnt get it, he said he told me he would be all day out. I replied that in general it seems like he doesnt wanna go out with me and wants just sex when it suits him and for I wouldnt bother him again for that matter. He replied in an angry tone "Ok well listen, you asked me what i was doing today and i said that i was not able to go anywhere as I have things to do, but ok, thats fine". I then explained to him politely that i didnt mean to upset him or anything else but lately, whenever i ask him to go out he declines or if he does ask me out/ask to come to my house he cancels the same day so i receive lately rejection and cancellation from him. So I asked him to understand also where I am coming from and that if he doesnt wanna go out with me in general, he should really let me know He didnt reply and I have seen he has snooped at my profile on the dating site but not making contact. Yesterday, I said to him by text that last time there was tension between us and I wouldnt want that, i wanted to make sure any bad bits are not there. I was friendly, asked him how he is etc. No reply. I have a date with a guy on Saturday, I just dont understand why he doesnt come clean with what he wants to do. I asked him prior to having sex for the first time which was 1,5 month ago what he would like to do as I am a bit confused. I am looking for regular dating with someone and he had told me that he would have more time moving forward to the summer, something that didnt happen. I have also asked him if he is single and he assured me that he is. He invited me to his parent's house when they werent in, but i couldnt go. To be honest I am unsure as what to make out of this and how to proceed. We are adults here and I would expect him to come clean???
Flame Aura Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 You don't need to wait for him to tell you anything - his actions speak for themselves. He's just not that interested in you. Don't contact him again. Go out with your new date. Find someone who appreciates you for you and actually wants to be with you. It is not him. 1
chillii Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 (edited) He does sound like he's not putting much into it but your seeing other guys anyway so why would he even if he was feeling it. He owes you nothing if your seeing other people so l don't get why you even care anyway. Edited September 24, 2019 by chillii
Author Chrys31 Posted September 24, 2019 Author Posted September 24, 2019 I only just decided to date someone else after all this and not before. Well I had told him if he doesnt want anymore to let me know. I just believe we are adults here and we should speak openly so he could really tell me look i dont wanna continue i am not interested, not drag on like this
Flame Aura Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 I just believe we are adults here and we should speak openly so he could really tell me look i dont wanna continue i am not interested, not drag on like this Lesson in life: Don't ever expect someone to act a certain way just because that is how you would act, as a lot of the time you will end up disappointed. There really is nothing to discuss. Actions speak louder than words. Just look at all the previous threads you have posted about this same guy, all the same thing. He is not interested enough in you. Stop wasting your time with him. 1
chillii Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 Yeah but you couldn't give it a few wks to see what comes of this just encase, if you were feeling it yourself no way you'd be off with someone else already. So l'd forget about it l don't see how you could be yourself either so non of it really matters.
Author Chrys31 Posted September 24, 2019 Author Posted September 24, 2019 Lesson in life: Don't ever expect someone to act a certain way just because that is how you would act, as a lot of the time you will end up disappointed. There really is nothing to discuss. Actions speak louder than words. Just look at all the previous threads you have posted about this same guy, all the same thing. He is not interested enough in you. Stop wasting your time with him. Then he asks me if i miss him etc and he says he is missing me a lot what can i say
Author Chrys31 Posted September 24, 2019 Author Posted September 24, 2019 Yeah but you couldn't give it a few wks to see what comes of this just encase, if you were feeling it yourself no way you'd be off with someone else already. So l'd forget about it l don't see how you could be yourself either so non of it really matters. I am, I just dont see that he comes clean, I have tried already as you see to make things clear.... I am feeling it i just dont know why he behaves like that and he doesnt tell me what he wants to do. He seemed to get annoyed when i said it doesnt seem he wants to go out with me....
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