fg19 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 So a few months ago, I matched with a girl on tinder. We hit it off as friends, and then one night she revealed that she had feelings for me. She was fully expecting that I wouldn't have feelings for her, and was prepared to move on. Though, I told her that I did have feelings for her. We then got closer and closer, and ended up hooking up had having sex. We both really want to be with each other, though there is uncertainty in our future. We are both in year 12, and nearly about to graduate. She has next year sorted out, though I don't. I have applied for a gap year which means that I would have to move interstate. Though, I have not been offered a position in the program yet, so it isn't a guarantee. She is very concerned about what is going to happen, and is scared of me moving on. She has told me that she will not move on, and I told her that I wouldn't either, but she is still worried that I would move on. I really really like this girl, and I want it to work so bad. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do?
schlumpy Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 You will have to go above and beyond the call duty to stay in close contact. Then everything will ride on the depth of your feelings for one another and your character. It's a lot to ask from someone so don't be too hard on yourself if you can't maintain the relationship. It might help to have marked events in the future that both of you work towards so that you can be together such as engagement instead of an open ended forever relationship that doesn't create any milestones in life.
Author fg19 Posted September 23, 2019 Author Posted September 23, 2019 It might help to have marked events in the future that both of you work towards so that you can be together such as engagement instead of an open ended forever relationship that doesn't create any milestones in life. We are both only 18. Something such as an engagement may be a little early for an event. Do you have any other suggestions for future events?
Maddie82 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 When leaving school, live tends to take people in different directions. If you are both so intent on making things work together then i'm sure you will find a way. Good luck 1
d0nnivain Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 You are 18. You don't have to have your lives figured out right now. Assure her that you love & care about her but remind her that you both have adulthood to prepare for that means finishing whatever school is right for you & getting jobs. Then & only then should you be talking about "forever". Until then take things one day at a time.
schlumpy Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 We are both only 18. Something such as an engagement may be a little early for an event. Do you have any other suggestions for future events? Eighteen? Year 12. I assumed you were in a foreign school system since they tend to use numbers instead labels such as senior year. Creating markers will be dependent on the time you have and the distance between you. A favorite restaurant that you meet at on special days can be a marker. A holiday taken together can be a marker. Introducing your SO into family activities. A life marker can be any activity that requires a conscious effort on the part of the couple to maintain their relationship and creates shared memories that are unique and special. It enhances the bond for most people.
smackie9 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 Wow you sure move on fast....didn't you just breakup with your other GF like a couple of months or so ago and wanted her back badly? Were you hitting the dating sites before you broke up?
preraph Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 Once you expand your universes and world view by going to university, both of you will begin changing and both of you will want the freedom to date while at university. Most couples do break up shortly after one goes to university for this reason. Your field of choice is normally much bigger and too much fun to be tied to one person. Unless you manage to both go to university same place same time, in which case you can see how long it lasts there together, it just simply isn't going to work.
Author fg19 Posted September 23, 2019 Author Posted September 23, 2019 Wow you sure move on fast....didn't you just breakup with your other GF like a couple of months or so ago and wanted her back badly? Were you hitting the dating sites before you broke up? She had just broken up with her BF a few months before, and I hadn't been with anyone in nearly a year and a half.
fromheart Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 Put your education first man, chances are you and this girl will break up. The work you do now, can set you up for life. Know its not what you want to hear, but if you compromise your life path for a woman she will see you as weak, needy and disrespect you. Eventually she'll come to hate you. Always put your path first and let women come to you. Don't worry, if she really loves you she'll come to you. As long as you maintain your masculinity and hold to your purpose in life.
d0nnivain Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 Your individual relationship status before you met are not the issue. At your age, everything is a whirlwind because it's all new & exciting. It's supposed to be a wild roller coaster. Stop trying to settle it down. Go to your respective next things & see where you relationship goes.
Author fg19 Posted September 24, 2019 Author Posted September 24, 2019 I may have not explained it well enough. I am not going anywhere for education. I may be going interstate for a year if I get accepted into this gap year program. She is staying home and doing a course for a year. Once I am done the gap year, I will be coming back home. We both really like each other, and want to be in a relationship. I need help with some ideas of what to do. Sorry about the tone this has been worded in:lmao:
fromheart Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 If the gap year program is important for your career, what I said applies. Your still in the same country, if you can visit each other during each others holiday the relationship can survive.
smackie9 Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 (edited) What to do? Either she agrees to do long distance or you are out of luck. Just make it clear that if one or the other meets someone else, you just have to be honest and let the other know. LDR or not, relationships are a crap soot. It's only an issue if you make it one. Edited September 24, 2019 by smackie9
5x5 Posted September 24, 2019 Posted September 24, 2019 You'll meat other women, she'll meet other men, time and distance will do the rest. 1
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