Twizzlestick Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 Hi Rat fans, When I’m messaging using OLD it seems to go from famine to feast to famine. I get no matches on the various apps for yonks, and then you seem to get a batch of conversations started with nice matches. A huge issue for me is I live in the boonies and Women consider driving more than 30 mins to be “long distance”. Anyway, to get on point. These small bubbles of success are nice, you end up rabbiting away to a few people at once after nothing for ages. But the problem is then, say you’ve got 5 people you’re talking to, unless you arrange 5 dates on the bounce you’re kind of kippered and some of these chats are going to have to either be kicked into the long grass. Leads me to Question 1/. If I’ve been talking earnestly to a girl but then a few more keep chatting is it ghosting if you let the chat die off? You’ve never met - this is chatting through the apps. Question 2/ I read on here people talk about going “on lots of dates” or a few dates with person A and person B . All sounds nice in principle and fun. I love the sound of it. But the reality seems a bit different. I find myself never getting past 1 date. Not because they don’t want to, but I’m usually unsure and rather than have a second/ third “to see”, I nip it in the bud early. I always send a text saying nice to meet but wasn’t for me. I usually don’t get a response. I think I’m hung up on getting in to something rushed. I like the idea in my head that you can have 3/4 dates and still be seeing how it goes rather than the big commit, but what I’m finding is the ones I’ve dated to to be a bit into it all even after date 1. It’s scaring me off a bit. Seated in it is I have a fear of hurting people (having been dumped last year). I use a counsellor occasionally and she said I’m likely “on the defence” because I’m out of a breakup and it’s making me less likely to just go with the flow without worrying about being trapped. I’m conflicted, I want to give things a fair crack of the whip with people, but don’t want to rush. It feels like teetering close to a pit with muddy edges. You get close to have a stare over the edge, to get a closer look, but too close and whooops! You slip in and get stuck. I’m sure this sounds barmy and I’m braced to have myself pulled apart , but I value the online wall bouncing of LS. Putting it down on paper is useful in itself Cheers all, and a great day to ya all.
smackie9 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 yup I agree....stop worrying so much because it's crampin yer style.
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