hmmhmmm2 Posted September 20, 2019 Posted September 20, 2019 I've hung out with this girl twice--on the 2nd date we agreed but she changed the plan to something else she wanted to do...which was fine with me..on the third date she flaked but sent me notice the day of..no reschedule...given she had hung out two times before I gave it a pass--she just said she wasn't feeling good...we reschedule...she says she started working another job and had to cancel the reschedule...but we reschedule for literally the following day.....this time she complete stood me up..no text, no nothing...she said she was in training for her new job...but didn't bother to text me to let me know...being that it was 3rd flake and no notice...I cut her off...stopped responding...she apologized profusely and I ignored her...she said she was incredibly sorry wand wanted to make it up to me over an early lunch...I said that didn't work for me and we can do something else at night and gave her two specific times at night...she said possibly but she doesn't have her work schedule from her other job yet...should I even bother with her? I feel like she's just gonna cancel on me again if we do set something up.
kendahke Posted September 20, 2019 Posted September 20, 2019 I wouldn't bother anymore. She's not interested enough to make and keep a date.
Saracena Posted September 20, 2019 Posted September 20, 2019 No way. On top of everything else she stood you up. A big no, no for me. Anyway, she sounds as if she's not romantically interested since she's flaking at suggestions of evening dates.
preraph Posted September 20, 2019 Posted September 20, 2019 Whether she is interested is up in the air. Thing is, she's a flake who thinks all her crap is more important than being considerate to others, and some people are more tolerant than me, but I have had it up to here with those people. 2
spiderowl Posted September 20, 2019 Posted September 20, 2019 She was messing you about, that's for sure. The interesting thing is that she has apologised. Presumably she got in touch with you to do this? I do not get the impression you got in touch with her. I would not make a date with her because she flaked on more than one occasion. You could stay loosely in touch but a bit distant. Let her realise she has to work to win you back. It could be that she just thoughtlessly did not realise you would be offended. Yes, I know it's stupid but maybe she's young? Let her arrange a date with you. You could even tell her you can't make a date with her because she is unreliable. She will either improve her behaviour or give up. At least you will know where you stand then.
Gretchen12 Posted September 22, 2019 Posted September 22, 2019 This is who she is. The flaking will continue.
Marc878 Posted September 22, 2019 Posted September 22, 2019 Making someone a priority when you're nothing more than an option to them gets you what?
The Outlaw Posted September 22, 2019 Posted September 22, 2019 I wouldn't bother with another reschedule. She's flaked one too many times.
Twizzlestick Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 If you’re not interested following a date, I just use the old “nice time, but wasn’t feeling spark” generic excuse. No need for much else. But in this case she’s messed you about and been a bad egg, so could be honest. Why let that behaviour slide? I’d cut her loose politely but be honest why. Same result but at least she gets a message her behaviour isn’t a winner. “Thanks for your message, but it’s not for me. I understand someone rescheduling if something comes up, but being stood up is a line in the sand for me and not something I’m willing to accept. All the best”
Maddie82 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 I'm in agreement with everyone else. Don't bother with her, she has messed you around enough. Standing you up with no explanation would be the end for me. There was no reason for her not to let you know but she didn't bother. Decline the evening meet up, tell her she has let you down too much and cut her off.
manfrombelow2 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 1- This indicates you were not leading the dynamic between the two of you. You were following her. And there's nothing kills the sexiness in a man quicker than a man who is a follower. I've hung out with this girl twice--on the 2nd date we agreed but she changed the plan to something else she wanted to do...which was fine with me 2- When a woman flakes, that indicates a low interest level. You did not "give it a pass". You were too needy and clingy to delete her number right then & there. ..on the third date she flaked but sent me notice the day of..no reschedule...given she had hung out two times before I gave it a pass 3- She is making excuses not to see you again. A smart guy with dignity must see through this and do what he has to do: Delete her number, forget all about her, leave her alone and starting dating other women. --she just said she wasn't feeling good...we reschedule...she says she started working another job and had to cancel the reschedule...but we reschedule for literally the following day 4- This is a classic example of what a woman usually does to a man she does not respect and has absolutely no interest level in: She ceases all contact with him without any notice. And is this her fault? No. She does not owe OP anything. .....this time she complete stood me up..no text, no nothing.. 5- Yes that's correct. She will never gonna see you again because she has absolutely no interest level in you, due to your neediness and clinginess. My advice for you is to take this as a lesson learned, move on and make sure you don't repeat the same mistake twice with later dates with other women. I feel like she's just gonna cancel on me again if we do set something up.
manfrombelow2 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 Oh I need to say something more about the title that OP put onto his thread: should I give her another chance? At the current moment, you are in no position whatsoever to "give" her any chance, because she doesn't care about you and she's not going to see you anyway whether you are going to "give her another chance" or not.
manfrombelow2 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 She is NOT terrible. She was trying to turn OP down nicely hoping that he would notice it and cease all contact with her as well. It's not her fault that OP was too needy and clingy to see this. She's terrible...NO!
Twizzlestick Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 She is NOT terrible. She was trying to turn OP down nicely hoping that he would notice it and cease all contact with her as well. It's not her fault that OP was too needy and clingy to see this. Yeah but it is equally her fault she agreed to more liaisons. She has a hole in her face called a mouth and a brain in her skullbox. She has skin in the blame game. She’s not a cat. She’s an adult. Agree OP equally slow on the uptake.
Maddie82 Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 She was trying to turn OP down nicely hoping that he would notice it and cease all contact with her as well. t's not her fault that OP was too needy and clingy to see this. And where did you get that from? Nothing about his behavior showed he was clingy. He wasn't. She is terrible.
notbroken Posted September 23, 2019 Posted September 23, 2019 She has low interest. Don't waste your time. Period. Anyone that would just stand you up without notifying you doesn't care about you - or likely anyone else. Dump. Block. Never respond. Ever.
Love2015 Posted September 26, 2019 Posted September 26, 2019 Let her go. Work on yourself and be ready for the one who is worth. Don't sell yourself short.
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