9089 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 Hey all. So I have something on my mind I would like to get some help understanding. After so many disaster dates and relationships I had met a fabolous woman. We hit off right away and the minute we saw each other we felt the chemistry. It was mutual and we were both very excited. After the date she invited me back home and we made love. She told me how this was the most amazing date she ever had and that it she felt completely comfortable being with me and that it felt so good and that everything was just perfect.. And that’s where it all went wrong, because on the second date she still felt this way and had even stronger feelings.. She told me she just couldn’t believe this was real, and had the alarms going off in her head what if this wouldn’t work out, or what if she would get hurt.. I couldn’t believe what she just said, and she told me she also regret being intimate so soon with me but that her feelings and the way it just felt together were some feeling she never experienced before.. She decided to cut all contact with me and after a long phonecall where she told me what an amazing person I was and how much she felt for me. She told me that she knew she would miss me deeply and wanted nothing more than to be with me but it all felt so good, safe and relaxt, it couldn’t be true.. And here I am.. Questioning what just happened? Why would someone step out when its all there? I don’t get it..
Tonk Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 (edited) She just wanted a fling, I'd say. Edited October 2, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Maddie82 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She used you for sex. All the spiel about how she felt so strongly, how much she wanted to be with you is bs. 1
Maggiemay1 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She was horny but likely thinking of her ex. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 This really makes it sound like she's on the rebound: "She told me how this was the most amazing date she ever had and that it she felt completely comfortable being with me and that it felt so good and that everything was just perfect.. And that’s where it all went wrong, because on the second date she still felt this way and had even stronger feelings." She's got someone else in her mind and can't take it further with you.
Author 9089 Posted September 19, 2019 Author Posted September 19, 2019 She actually has been single for 4 years and told me she never had a real relationship. This felt better unlike the others she had dated. It felt like we lnew eachother for years, and we could talk for hours on end. It just felt so good, and because it did she ended it. I cant believe I’m writing this either but that just happened
Maddie82 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She actually has been single for 4 years and told me she never had a real relationship. More bs. She certainly knew what she was doing when she jumped into bed with you on the first date. 1
Timshel Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 This is a very emotionally immature and insecure woman. She is playing a game...the game is she pushes you away and you chase/convince her how much you really, truly, deeply care. It's much to soon for either of you to have any real feelings for each other beyond fondness but she's ramping things up to triple time. lol Rhett finally got it when he said, 'frankly my dear, I don't give a dam.' It seems to be working quite well on you op.
Redhead14 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 C'mon, OP. You two only had 1 date that ended in sex and she was crazy over you? And on the second date she says she's still crazy over you but she's moving on???? She's a playa or mentally and emotionally unstable or all of the above. You had a one-night stand . . . so be it. Move on. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She actually has been single for 4 years and told me she never had a real relationship. This felt better unlike the others she had dated. It felt like we lnew eachother for years, and we could talk for hours on end. It just felt so good, and because it did she ended it. I cant believe I’m writing this either but that just happened That doesn't mean she isn't hung up on someone else. She has obviously been dating, and must've had some sort of relationship if she's been single for years and not her entire life. In any case, I think you need to attach less significance to the flowery words of a stranger. Sure, it sounds nice, but when you don't know the person, you cannot assume there is much sincerity behind it. She could be feeding you all kinds of lines and you have no way of knowing what's true and what isn't. It sucks, but consider yourself lucky that she bailed this early. She isn't relationship material if she honestly can't handle two good dates.
manfrombelow2 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 (edited) The answer was simple: She realized she did not like you that much, at least not enough to enter a relationship with you, so she ran. It's simple as that. I know you are being very confused to see her words (she said she's crazy over you blah blah blah) and her actions (dumping you) didn't match. But hey, as the old saying goes: Never listen to what she says, but only watch what she does. In this case, her actions give out a very strong and clear message: She does not like you enough to enter a relationship with you. And that's it. All you need (and have to) do now is forget all about her and move on. P.S: I want to quote a very wise person's words here: "Sex is not a currency to force someone to stay with you just because they had one with you. When sex comes, just enjoy and be glad that you've had some." Edited September 19, 2019 by thaygiaogiang
manfrombelow2 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 Here is the full quote by Smackie9: sex is not currency to buy you a relationship. If sex happens just simply enjoy it and be glad you got some
Author 9089 Posted September 19, 2019 Author Posted September 19, 2019 She just texted me and said how much she missed me, that she wanted to be with me, tell me how much I meant to her look at me and say yes I want to continue dating you and I don’t want to loose you, but she said I need to choose for myself and her descision stays. It feels too good to be true that’s why I’m leaving you
Redhead14 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She just texted me and said how much she missed me, that she wanted to be with me, tell me how much I meant to her look at me and say yes I want to continue dating you and I don’t want to loose you, but she said I need to choose for myself and her descision stays. It feels too good to be true that’s why I’m leaving you Oh, paleeze. I think I saw this scene on General Hospital 30 years ago 3
manfrombelow2 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 Don't buy her BS son. At this point, you either ignore her texts or simply ask her out. If she agrees, good, and if she doesn't, say "Let me know when you're ready to catchup, have to go, bye" and hung up the phone. She just texted me and said how much she missed me, that she wanted to be with me, tell me how much I meant to her look at me and say yes I want to continue dating you and I don’t want to loose you, but she said I need to choose for myself and her descision stays. It feels too good to be true that’s why I’m leaving you 1
stillafool Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She's trying to keep you on the back burner just in case. She's full of it and a player. I hope you block her and get yourself tested.
Timshel Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She's not a player, she is desperate for a KISA. If you are good with an insta relationship with a fast track to marriage and children 9089, then proceed. Who are we to stumble love/family. Only know what's up, that is all.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 You can’t take this woman seriously, OP. She doesn’t even know you. 1
stillafool Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She's not a player, she is desperate for a KISA. If you are good with an insta relationship with a fast track to marriage and children 9089, then proceed. Who are we to stumble love/family. Only know what's up, that is all. She's a woman. She has no problems getting KISA; she just doesn't want only one.
elaine567 Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 You had a one-night stand . . . so be it. Move on. Exactly. After all that love bombing lead up, she needed to save face, so she concocts a story about why she must let you go... She wasn't feeling it, she doesn't really want to see you again. She is rejecting you nicely, so let it go. You felt the connection, she didn't... it happens. 1
Big Aus Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 (edited) OP, bottom line is that the woman is at best a Drama Queen, and at worst actually has some psychiatric issue. She's gone in hard and fast, and either has misgivings, or realises enough to understand she can't moderate her behaviour and is likely to get hurt. (Could be Bi-Polar, could be a lot of things.) Result is the same. Let it go, and stay away. If she keeps texting, block her number. What you need to understand is that what she says she experienced, isn't real. It's been over amped, possibly by a manic phase. Edited October 2, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude
Timshel Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 She's a woman. She has no problems getting KISA; she just doesn't want only one. Who knows...I did not read in the original post or any follow up from 9089 about other guys, not sure where the 'player' and not the 'only one' is coming from but how could anyone know, meh. It is clear that no matter the peripheral circumstance, this woman is not psychologically grounded. I think we all agree on this; I only refuse to demonize her and would prefer to understand from the information given thus far that although unstable, she is probably a woman at the end of her tethers and resorting to unproductive tactics to hook a man.
spiderowl Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 Maybe she genuinely thinks it's all too good to be true and she is trying to protect herself. It seems she has stayed in touch with you if she is texting. If you are genuinely interested in her, I would still be very careful. She could be a love-bomber who gets carried away but doesn't really mean it. A friend of a friend is like that, falls madly in love with a guy, they become a couple very fast, he moves in with her or vice versa and very shortly afterwards she falls madly in love with someone else. She says she means it at the time! I doubt that is any consolation for the poor guys who have just been dumped though. Yes, if you two do get together again, I would take it slowly. I don't mean with sex - that's up to the two of you - but as regards getting emotionally involved. You don't want to get attached to someone who is very flighty. 1
SumGuy Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 It’s certainly a game she is playing with you or herself or both. You could always play along and offer to be an abusive bore so as to be not so perfect. . Say you understand and wish her the best and move on. Tread carefully if you see her again, her “reasoning” and actions are major red flags.
Author 9089 Posted September 20, 2019 Author Posted September 20, 2019 So I saw her last night in person, and she told me how she had never felt this feelings for someone, how I totally made her feel herself and comfortable. She felt safe and really liked me as a person that she could see herself fall in love with me, but that it must have been too good to be true. Then I asked, everything is perfect in your eyes but you are just throwing it away because it is? And she said yes. She gave me a reason she wasn’t madly in love after 2 dates. But I was the one she always wanted and now she was going to get rid me because of it. She said I have to be strong and already blocked me.. She was all over me in those few times she saw me. She told me how much she liked me and wanted to make it work, but at the same time she ditched me. It felt so good being together only it was so short. She said i had been constantly on her mind thinking what a great guy I am. But she had made this descision and now she had to prove to herself that she could stick to it she said.. Saying goodbye was hard for us both. She knew what we could have but it was too perfect.. It couldn’t be real
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