Suddenly stopped texting

[kendahke]

Catfish folks skype - don’t rule it out.

 

Very true. I used to follow FB pages that focused on exposing catfish scamming after my experience with one and one of the methods they used was to steal skype videos, loop the video and make it seem like they had a really bad connection, video wise, but would type in real time.

 

All you need to do to smoke them out is say "don't turn around now, but there is a huge spider right by your head"... if they don't jump up and do the crazy dance in the moment, you're being scammed.

[Britney25]

Very true. I used to follow FB pages that focused on exposing catfish scamming after my experience with one and one of the methods they used was to steal skype videos, loop the video and make it seem like they had a really bad connection, video wise, but would type in real time.

 

All you need to do to smoke them out is say "don't turn around now, but there is a huge spider right by your head"... if they don't jump up and do the crazy dance in the moment, you're being scammed.

 

 

Ok now the comments are starting to get ridiculous. Just stop please

[kendahke]

Ok now the comments are starting to get ridiculous. Just stop please

 

Go look it up. The truth sometimes is stranger than fiction.

 

In fact, put this in your youtube browser and watch the video that comes up: How Romance Scammers Port Video Files Over Skype, since you think this is ridiculous.

 

...or don't and keep getting strung along...

Edited September 18, 2019 by kendahke

[Britney25]

Go look it up. The truth sometimes is stranger than fiction.

 

...or don't and keep getting strung along...

 

Your story is irrelevant here because I know that its him. Theres no way the convos we had on Skype are fake. So just stop

[preraph]

You're going to waste a lot of time and emotions if you continue pursuing long-distance relationships. The percent that ever work out is tiny. It's mostly a lot of waiting and fantasizing and believing they're one way when they're not and believing they're committed, when they're killing time. And then even if you do get together, it may only amount to a hookup. Why put so many obstacles in your path?

 

You act like you've met everyone in your city. If you live in a city, that can't be true. If it were me, I'd move to a different place where I might find my niche before I'd try making a relationship out of an online fantasy.

[basil67]

Theres no one that interests me in my city at the moment.

 

If it was a small town, I can imagine this....but nobody in a whole city? This is nuts.

[kendahke]

I know that its him.

 

We never met

 

suddenly no contact from him since 3 days now.

 

Has he contacted you yet?

 

Unfortunately, the downside to online dating is that you only know what this guy wants you to know. Despite how unpleasantly that may make you feel, the centering truth here is that absent a mutual audience with one another, what he's told you doesn't mean you know him. To further the insult, he leads you to believe one thing and invest in it while knowing that he was going to cut you loose before he put his money where his mouth was.

 

For what you've invested, I do hope he finds his sack and faces your wrath and explains himself to your satisfaction; however experience has taught me that a guy who'd do that wouldn't put you in the predicament in the first place.

 

One guiding truth in life: you only know as much about a person as they let you know about themselves. Ask Julie Baumeister.

[Cora]

Who knows? Ghosting is common these days. I met a guy online whom I dated for six months who lived less than 30 minutes away. He just dropped off the planet one day. No more texts or calls....never saw him again, no goodbye nothing.

 

People lose interest...find someone else etc. It happens.

[Britney25]

Has he contacted you yet?

 

Unfortunately, the downside to online dating is that you only know what this guy wants you to know. Despite how unpleasantly that may make you feel, the centering truth here is that absent a mutual audience with one another, what he's told you doesn't mean you know him. To further the insult, he leads you to believe one thing and invest in it while knowing that he was going to cut you loose before he put his money where his mouth was.

 

For what you've invested, I do hope he finds his sack and faces your wrath and explains himself to your satisfaction; however experience has taught me that a guy who'd do that wouldn't put you in the predicament in the first place.

 

One guiding truth in life: you only know as much about a person as they let you know about themselves. Ask Julie Baumeister.

 

 

I actually texted him myself just hi Joe how are you? And he texted me back in an hour saying hi Maria I'm good and you? With a blushing emoji. Okkkkkkk

[Maggiemay1]

I actually texted him myself just hi Joe how are you? And he texted me back in an hour saying hi Maria I'm good and you? With a blushing emoji. Okkkkkkk

 

That’s great, now he knows he can breeze in and out with no consequence.

 

The advice was not to text him.

But had I known you were going to anyway I would have suggested saying something like “how are the travel plans going? Let me know when you are thinking of booking so I can free up my schedule?”

And wait for the excuses to roll in lol

 

He was happy to bail and it seems happy enough to let you chase him either.

 

You have now got exactly what you didn’t want.

Oh well, what’s your next move?

The table has turned so it’s up to you now that has to initiate or ghost?

[Britney25]

That’s great, now he knows he can breeze in and out with no consequence.

 

The advice was not to text him.

But had I known you were going to anyway I would have suggested saying something like “how are the travel plans going? Let me know when you are thinking of booking so I can free up my schedule?”

And wait for the excuses to roll in lol

 

He was happy to bail and it seems happy enough to let you chase him either.

 

You have now got exactly what you didn’t want.

Oh well, what’s your next move?

The table has turned so it’s up to you now that has to initiate or ghost?

 

 

You dont get it. I dont give a **** about him anymore that's why I messaged him. I'm going to ask if he is coming here....I smelled his BS a long time ago plus I'm tired of the games. If we wont ever meet than I can text him because I have nothing to loose. I'm not chasing him. I texted very formal. And I dont give a **** if that's what he thinks too anymore

[Ami1uwant]

You dont get it. I dont give a **** about him anymore that's why I messaged him. I'm going to ask if he is coming here....I smelled his BS a long time ago plus I'm tired of the games. If we wont ever meet than I can text him because I have nothing to loose. I'm not chasing him. I texted very formal. And I dont give a **** if that's what he thinks too anymore

 

My observations....

 

How far apart are you? 3 hr drive, 500 miles? Cross country flight?

 

From my experience when you have a long distance like this you need to ask questions about future like you moving there, him moving to you, or you both agree to go to a different place.

 

 

If flying is involved you need to plan things over 3 werks before.

 

What’s likely going on...you aren’t the only one he’s talking to. Because of distance you are 2nd or 3rd option until he can meet someone where he lives. He didn’t end things. He just ignoring you because of early dating stages with new girl.

[Britney25]

My observations....

 

How far apart are you? 3 hr drive, 500 miles? Cross country flight?

 

From my experience when you have a long distance like this you need to ask questions about future like you moving there, him moving to you, or you both agree to go to a different place.

 

 

If flying is involved you need to plan things over 3 werks before.

 

What’s likely going on...you aren’t the only one he’s talking to. Because of distance you are 2nd or 3rd option until he can meet someone where he lives. He didn’t end things. He just ignoring you because of early dating stages with new girl.

 

 

It's a 6hr flight. Ok and that's cool he can date BUT I'm going to wait and see what BS excuse he gives me and depending on that I will call him out. He did reply to me so no he didnt exactly ghost or ignore me..let's see..all I know is whatever he tells me I'll give him a taste of his medicine.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's a 6hr flight. Ok and that's cool he can date BUT I'm going to wait and see what BS excuse he gives me and depending on that I will call him out. He did reply to me so no he didnt exactly ghost or ignore me..let's see..all I know is whatever he tells me I'll give him a taste of his medicine.

 

What is the point?

 

He doesn't care enough to be bothered by whatever medicine you plan on serving. This is why getting up on your hind legs with someone who has already demonstrated a lack of interest is futile and really only serves to make you look a bit foolish.

 

If you didn't care, you wouldn't waste your time on him. Your actions totally contradict your bravado.

[Maggiemay1]

You dont get it. I dont give a **** about him anymore that's why I messaged him. I'm going to ask if he is coming here....I smelled his BS a long time ago plus I'm tired of the games. If we wont ever meet than I can text him because I have nothing to loose. I'm not chasing him. I texted very formal. And I dont give a **** if that's what he thinks too anymore

 

Don’t worry ! I totally get it!!

 

If you didn’t give a **** about him , he wouldn’t have even entered your mind to text him or create a thread about it.

 

The fact is you do give a **** about him , but no one here can understand why. Why do you care?

 

I agree you have nothing to lose by texting him at least in his eyes. He doesn’t care. But what about your dignity? Don’t you want to preserve that?

 

What do you want to achieve by contacting him? I can guarantee he won’t care either way. So why waste your time?

 

What’s the real issue here??? Why are you chatting to unavailable men online??

[Maddie82]

I haven't texted him at all

 

You haven't put any effort into this at all, so he got fed up of doing all the work and gave up. That's why he stopped texting. Wake up. You're living in an old fashioned world where men do all the chasing. It's not like that these days and the sooner you learn that the better.

[Maddie82]

I've showed hin plenty of interest. Texting back and forth, calling each other. Oh come on! It never bothered him before for me not to initiate so why suddenly? I had men that I had no Interest in whatsoever text me non stop! They were chasing me. And this guy after everyday constant contact suddenly drops silent? No I think theres something else going on. Either he is waiting to see how into him I am or hes not coming and never was so he's backing off.

 

How do you know it never bothered him? Did he tell you that? This comment above shows how very full of yourself you are and how much you love men chasing you. You love bragging about it. You love all the attention and love that they do all the work and you just sit back and revel in being wanted. Now one has backed off and you cant handle it. You're flipping out like a school kid. You just need to look at your comments to realize why. You have no right to call him out on anything. He got fed up of being the only one putting in the work. He was going to make the 6 hour flight. What did you do in all this? You answered the odd text and wait for him to make all the moves. Time to rethink your old fashioned high maintenance strategies. Time to start putting equal effort in.

Edited September 19, 2019 by Maddie82

[Maddie82]

Your story is irrelevant here because I know that its him. Theres no way the convos we had on Skype are fake. So just stop

 

You can't be 100% it was him. Could've been a friend of his on the skype video call. It's happened many times before.

[Maddie82]

You say this.... (which makes no sense)

 

You dont get it. I dont give a **** about him anymore that's why I messaged him. I smelled his BS a long time ago plus I'm tired of the games. I'm not chasing him. And I dont give a **** if that's what he thinks too anymore

 

Then you contradict yourself with this....if you didn't give a **** about him then you wouldn't be so bitter and feel the need to get revenge on him. Honestly, he's not going to be bothered if you start ghosting him. You'll be doing him a favor.

 

all I know is whatever he tells me I'll give him a taste of his medicine

[salparadise]

You haven't put any effort into this at all, so he got fed up of doing all the work and gave up. You're living in an old fashioned world where men do all the chasing.

--------

This comment above shows how very full of yourself you are and how much you love men chasing you. You love bragging about it. You love all the attention and love that they do all the work and you just sit back and revel in being wanted. Now one has backed off and you cant handle it.

 

Yay! Finally, a woman who gets it. All of this denigration of the guy, and condemnation due to it being an online contact, his refusal to pursue properly, etc... well, it cuts both ways. Social norms have evolved, plus online dating is a big equalizer in certain ways.

 

It's one thing to be around someone for awhile and develop an intense crush and become transfixed (as OP seems to expect of men generally), but a few small pics and a handful of text messages will never have the same visceral effect. If you want something to develop you have to nurture it.

 

Men can be foolish, esp. before they've had a few humiliating experiences. But afterward they become wiser and skeptical. I've learned from experience myself, and my guess is that this guy has too.

 

Women have no issues with encouraging you to book a flight, hotels, take time off work (all very expensive) to come visit even if they have no real interest, for no other reason than it validates them on some level, and it costs them zero. They will meet you in person and say, hey, thanks for coming but... not feeling it, not interested after all. But hey, thanks for the expensive little ego boost.

 

This guy isn't a catfish, he's just not that green.

[Britney25]

Yay! Finally, a woman who gets it. All of this denigration of the guy, and condemnation due to it being an online contact, his refusal to pursue properly, etc... well, it cuts both ways. Social norms have evolved, plus online dating is a big equalizer in certain ways.

 

It's one thing to be around someone for awhile and develop an intense crush and become transfixed (as OP seems to expect of men generally), but a few small pics and a handful of text messages will never have the same visceral effect. If you want something to develop you have to nurture it.

 

Men can be foolish, esp. before they've had a few humiliating experiences. But afterward they become wiser and skeptical. I've learned from experience myself, and my guess is that this guy has too.

 

Women have no issues with encouraging you to book a flight, hotels, take time off work (all very expensive) to come visit even if they have no real interest, for no other reason than it validates them on some level, and it costs them zero. They will meet you in person and say, hey, thanks for coming but... not feeling it, not interested after all. But hey, thanks for the expensive little ego boost.

 

This guy isn't a catfish, he's just not that green.

 

 

 

What do I do now? He texted me back apologizing he hasnt texted me and wishes me a great day. Do I just leave it or do I just start a convo like nothing happened?

[Britney25]

You say this.... (which makes no sense)

 

 

 

Then you contradict yourself with this....if you didn't give a **** about him then you wouldn't be so bitter and feel the need to get revenge on him. Honestly, he's not going to be bothered if you start ghosting him. You'll be doing him a favor.

 

 

He texted me apologizing that he has been quiet and wishes me q good day. What do I respond? Or should I just leave it?

[Britney25]

Ya, notice he’s not giving you any info about himself?

 

This guy isn’t worth bothering with (even by text).

 

Why don’t you move forward and let this thing die out for real?

 

It’s going NOWHERE! He’s wasting your time.

 

I asked him if everything is ok with him as he was quiet. He replied back with an apology and wishes me a good day. What do I say? Or just leave it? Was his reply kinda stale?

[kendahke]

I asked him if everything is ok with him as he was quiet. He replied back with an apology and wishes me a good day. What do I say? Or just leave it? Was his reply kinda stale?

 

He dismissed you.

 

"Have a good day" is a parting line when one is done dealing with you.

 

Leave it. He's not going to engage until he feels it's in his interests to do so, hence him having the proverbial hand on your forehead, keeping you at bay.

[smackie9]

Wow Britney....is that all it takes for you to want this guy back? Have a nice day message? A few posts back you have already written him off. I knew right from the beginning you are over invested, and emotionally in over your head...desperate. This guy just has to dangle a carrot in from of you, and already you are clawing at it. Girl, if you answer his text, he will know you are easily manipulated, and controlled just with a simple text. Take a step back and take a hard look at what is going on with you. Why would you even consider giving this guy the time of day with the bs he has put you through.