DrNo1962 Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Take from it what you will OP, but I'm not too fond of pen-pal style relationships. Texting should be used for logistics and the occasional "check-in"(if necessary). Perhaps you'd be better off trying to find someone who lives in your state and who can actually set a date with you to meet in person.
winny Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Hell no I'm not texting first. This is so immature and game playing. Just text him and if he responds great otherwise you know the answer. 2
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 Take from it what you will OP, but I'm not too fond of pen-pal style relationships. Texting should be used for logistics and the occasional "check-in"(if necessary). Perhaps you'd be better off trying to find someone who lives in your state and who can actually set a date with you to meet in person. Well it's kinda disappointing though as I thought he was pretty damn invested in making this happen.
justicegrl Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 We skyped so he is not catfishing me whatsoever. I honestly think he is not coming at all and doesnt know what to tell me. Doesnt have the balls? Last thing he texted 3 days ago is how he so wants to see me in real life and I drive him crazy. Exactly. Read the third paragraph of my last post. His face may be his on Skype but you seriously have no idea of who or what he is as a man and human being until you meet in person and spend time together in person. I.mean would you ever have guessed he would ghost you like this? He likely has many women in his online orbit, doing the same thing to them. Lesson learned. 1
mortensorchid Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 It sounds like another one of those situations where you're texting or exchanging messages after meeting on a website / app, then eventually it just tapers off. Just move on.
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 This is so immature and game playing. Just text him and if he responds great otherwise you know the answer. How will I know if I text him first that he is not just being nice when he replies? It's not game playing as we haven't even met yet. This is chasing the guy. You know it too so stop playing
basil67 Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Sorry, this thread has taken off since I last saw it. When I asked if you'd ever messaged him, I was wondering if perhaps he might think that your lack of texting meant that you weren't so into him. Paying for a plane fare to meet someone who's only initiated three texts in a month is a bit of a risk. 1
Maggiemay1 Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Well it's kinda disappointing though as I thought he was pretty damn invested in making this happen. Invested in making what happen? A few Skype calls and texts? That doesn’t even take effort. How many people does he follow on Instagram? And how many compared to who is following him? And are they predominantly girls? He’s probably telling several that he is coming to see them , that’s all part of the fantasy flirting game. You played, he played , but he has started another game most likely. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Don’t bother. Find someone close to you to date. This. It's already become too much hassle. 1
salparadise Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 ...but I'm not going to text him first as I know the Man should lead. If he wants me he knows where to find me. Any ideas? Ideas... yea, just do nothing. That's all that's ever expected of a woman, and it would just be humiliating to reciprocate a bit. Maybe an uber tenacious man who never wants anything bilateral will drop out of the sky someday... with a glass slipper that fits you perfectly. 2
stillafool Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 How will I know if I text him first that he is not just being nice when he replies? You won't. Therefore it's not a good idea to involve LD in your dating. Find guys closer to home. Stop all the texting, make them call you and set up a date soon and stop all the texting.
smackie9 Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Sorry hun but it’s pretty obvious he found a better option. It’s very possible he was chatting with other women and found one he liked better. No matter how invested they seem or connected you think you are, it’s silly to think you are the only one. It’s online, and the accessibility to others is so easy. I believe at one time he was truly interested in meeting you, until the day he met someone else that suited him better. He probably is happy at the fact you are the type that won’t initiate contact because he won’t see any repercussions for his actions. He gets off scott free. What do you do now? You don’t this again. Invest in a man that lives close to you and takes you out on dates. See what an internet relationship gets you? It gets you nothing but hurt and disappointment. 3
kendahke Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Are you suggesting I show message him? But that just goes against everything organic between a man and a woman. I never had a Man wait for me to text him before. Game playing is for children. Yes, because your tack demonstrates a noticeable lack of interest and he's filed that away and created distance, since you can't bring yourself to type a text first. It's high time you got off that mess and send him a text if you're that pressed about him going silent on you. I think the long distance and your seeming lack of initiative made it easy for him to demote this. You're not acting like you're interested, so he's going to match your behavior and show you what lack of interest feels like, since you're into dishing it out. 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 Game playing is for children. Yes, because your tack demonstrates a noticeable lack of interest and he's filed that away and created distance, since you can't bring yourself to type a text first. It's high time you got off that mess and send him a text if you're that pressed about him going silent on you. I think the long distance and your seeming lack of initiative made it easy for him to demote this. You're not acting like you're interested, so he's going to match your behavior and show you what lack of interest feels like, since you're into dishing it out. I've showed hin plenty of interest. Texting back and forth, calling each other. Oh come on! It never bothered him before for me not to initiate so why suddenly ? I like him but again I dont even know if he is coming then why should I be the one to message him? It doesnt make sense. I need an alpha male not a feminine kind of Man. I had men that I had no Interest in whatsoever text me non stop! They were chasing me. And this guy after everyday constant contact suddenly drops silent? No I think theres something else going on. Either he is waiting to see how into him I am or hes not coming and never was so he's backing off.
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 Sorry hun but it’s pretty obvious he found a better option. It’s very possible he was chatting with other women and found one he liked better. No matter how invested they seem or connected you think you are, it’s silly to think you are the only one. It’s online, and the accessibility to others is so easy. I believe at one time he was truly interested in meeting you, until the day he met someone else that suited him better. He probably is happy at the fact you are the type that won’t initiate contact because he won’t see any repercussions for his actions. He gets off scott free. What do you do now? You don’t this again. Invest in a man that lives close to you and takes you out on dates. See what an internet relationship gets you? It gets you nothing but hurt and disappointment. I'm sorry but theres nothing wrong with connecting with someone LD. Theres no one that interests me in my city at the moment.
justicegrl Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 (edited) Britney, did you not say you 'have' initiated texts - three times? And always very responsive to his? And enthusiastic to his pursuit? Cyber pursuit anyway. This is showing enough interest. If guy is so insecure he needs more from you, more you chasing him, he should not have made plans to meet you in the first place. Come on guys it's so obvious, chatting was fun but as soon as reality hit and plans to meet were being discussed on a serious level, he cuts contact. No no no do not text him. Lose his number, move on and seek out local guys to date. Edited September 18, 2019 by justicegrl
kendahke Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 I've showed hin plenty of interest. Texting back and forth, calling each other. Oh come on! It never bothered him before for me not to initiate so why suddenly ? I like him but again I dont even know if he is coming then why should I be the one to message him? It doesnt make sense. I need an alpha male not a feminine kind of Man. I had men that I had no Interest in whatsoever text me non stop! They were chasing me. And this guy after everyday constant contact suddenly drops silent? No I think theres something else going on. Either he is waiting to see how into him I am or hes not coming and never was so he's backing off. Clearly, this guy ain't the one... since you're layout the reasons above why he's not the one, why are you pressed about it? Dump him, block him and move on. 1
justicegrl Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 (edited) The reason you fell for him on line was precisely because it's on line. On line can be fun, exciting, charming, sexy even, but it's based on fantasy mostly, how could it not be? You've never met! I would take time to explore within yourself how available "you" are for a real life relationship. Women who desire real life in person relationships don't typically fall hard for online guys. Not judging I was once that girl, not ready for anything "real" and ended up falling hard for a guy I met on line. Like your guy, he cut contact too, broke my heart. But no regrets, it was fun, I enjoyed it and actually learned a lot from it. Something to consider Edited September 18, 2019 by justicegrl 1
stillafool Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 I've showed hin plenty of interest. Texting back and forth, calling each other. Oh come on! It never bothered him before for me not to initiate so why suddenly ? I like him but again I dont even know if he is coming then why should I be the one to message him? It doesnt make sense. I need an alpha male not a feminine kind of Man. I had men that I had no Interest in whatsoever text me non stop! They were chasing me. And this guy after everyday constant contact suddenly drops silent? No I think theres something else going on. Either he is waiting to see how into him I am or hes not coming and never was so he's backing off. Well there you go! This is obviously not the "alpha male" you need so it's time to put this behind you and move on. 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 Britney, did you not say you 'have' initiated texts - three times? And always very responsive to his? And enthusiastic to his pursuit? Cyber pursuit anyway. This is showing enough interest. If guy is so insecure he needs more from you, more you chasing him, he should not have made plans to meet you in the first place. Come on guys it's so obvious, chatting was fun but as soon as reality hit and plans to meet were being discussed on a serious level, he cuts contact. No no no do not text him. Lose his number, move on and seek out local guys to date. Thank you!!
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 The reason you fell for him on line was precisely because it's on line. On line can be fun, exciting, charming, sexy even, but it's based on fantasy mostly, how could it not be? You've never met! I would take time to explore within yourself how available "you" are for a real life relationship. Women who desire real life in person relationships don't typically fall hard for online guys. Not judging I was once that girl, not ready for anything "real" and ended up falling hard for a guy I met on line. Like your guy, he cut contact too, broke my heart. But no regrets, it was fun, I enjoyed it and actually learned a lot from it. Something to consider It's not that I'm not ready for something in real. I am just no one is interesting to me atm. So yes maybe the romance of it all and the cute messages I fell for the fantasy but I really did think he was serious about coming. He was asking for advice on hotels etc.
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 That’s what catfish do. They lead you to believe certain things but then disappear when something (anything) is expected of them besides cute words on a screen. Did you ever send money? Did he ever ask? I dont think you read the whole thread because you will know that I have skyped with him numerous times and no the talk was never about money. Normal getting to know each other convos.
stillafool Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 There's a new tv show coming this fall about "Ghosting". It will be popular because there are a number of people who are Ghosting or getting Ghosted these days. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 I need an alpha male not a feminine kind of Man. I had men that I had no Interest in whatsoever text me non stop! They were chasing me. If you really believed what you say here, this thread wouldn't exist. You would have already written him off as the wrong match for you. You're hurt that he is suddenly - seemingly - not interested. It's okay to admit that. 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 If you really believed what you say here, this thread wouldn't exist. You would have already written him off as the wrong match for you. You're hurt that he is suddenly - seemingly - not interested. It's okay to admit that. Yes I am disappointed and confused as the last conversation we had was very flirty and how much he wants to see me. So yes I wanted to get an opinion from others and what they would do.
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