Britney25 Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 Hi! I'm kinda confused. Been talking to this Man that connected with for about a month. We were texting everyday , sometimes twice a day even. He always initiated and I would sometimes. We skyped and talked on the phone as well. I was beginning to like him and suddenly no contact from him since 3 days now. Last thing he texted me something flirty , which I replied and now complete silence. We never met, as he was planning a trip to see me. He lives out of my State. Is he lieing to me ? As in he isnt going to fly to me and doesnt know how to tell me so now silence? He still follows and checks out my insta stories mins you. I'm confused. I know we dont owe each other nothing as this was a nice talk and flirt but I'm not going to text him first as I know the Man should lead. If he wants me he knows where to find me. Any ideas? 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 17, 2019 Author Posted September 17, 2019 Have you ever texted him first? Yes I would say about 3 times
Author Britney25 Posted September 17, 2019 Author Posted September 17, 2019 Have you ever texted him first? Are you suggesting I show message him? But that just goes against everything organic between a man and a woman. I never had a Man wait for me to text him before.
Gretchen12 Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 Maybe he lost interest because it's long distance - it was fun but no future. And you haven't met so you're not completely real.
Author Britney25 Posted September 17, 2019 Author Posted September 17, 2019 Maybe he lost interest because it's long distance - it was fun but no future. And you haven't met so you're not completely real. Then why Skype and text me for a month??? Just for fun?? Doesnt make sense
Whodatdog Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 Sure, just for fun. You probably gave him a bit of an ego boost, so he enjoyed chatting, but its just for fun. If you treat it that way, you wont get hurt. Long distance is practically impossible. People like to actually date in person. 1
Gretchen12 Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 Then why Skype and text me for a month??? Just for fun?? Doesnt make sense I'm not sure about "making sense". I don't do that so I can't put myself in his shoes. I just know that this behaviour is quite common with online dating. Guy seems so invested then suddenly disappear. Just know it happens. You may never understand it. 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 17, 2019 Author Posted September 17, 2019 Sure, just for fun. You probably gave him a bit of an ego boost, so he enjoyed chatting, but its just for fun. If you treat it that way, you wont get hurt. Long distance is practically impossible. People like to actually date in person. But he planned on visiting me. He still follows me on insta. Why then? And no we didnt meet on a dating app it was on instagram
Author Britney25 Posted September 17, 2019 Author Posted September 17, 2019 I'm not sure about "making sense". I don't do that so I can't put myself in his shoes. I just know that this behaviour is quite common with online dating. Guy seems so invested then suddenly disappear. Just know it happens. You may never understand it. We met on instagram not a dating site
preraph Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 Did you flirt back with him such that he could be looking at your photos and masturbating and maybe that's all he ever wanted? There are quite a number of guys online really just looking to get themselves off and the end game being to get someone to send photos and flirt enough to encourage them. If you did not flirt back or send photos, then he may have just gotten tired of texting with no end in sight. 3
Author Britney25 Posted September 17, 2019 Author Posted September 17, 2019 Did you flirt back with him such that he could be looking at your photos and masturbating and maybe that's all he ever wanted? There are quite a number of guys online really just looking to get themselves off and the end game being to get someone to send photos and flirt enough to encourage them. If you did not flirt back or send photos, then he may have just gotten tired of texting with no end in sight. No never sent sexy photos. He never asked for them and he always texted first. It was fun flirting. He asked questions about me and my life..etc
preraph Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 Well, then maybe his life just got hectic and you'll hear from him yet. I wouldn't bombard him with texts in the meantime. If he's very interested, he'll contact you before long.
Author Britney25 Posted September 17, 2019 Author Posted September 17, 2019 Well, then maybe his life just got hectic and you'll hear from him yet. I wouldn't bombard him with texts in the meantime. If he's very interested, he'll contact you before long. I haven't texted him at all
preraph Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 Well, he will contact you if he is really interested. He could just be busy and not thinking about romance this week -- and of course he could be interested in someone else or tired of just communicating. You will only know if he contacts you again or not. Hate the waiting, but... 1
Noproblem Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 He probably got laid with another girl. That will end any interest from his part since he already got a new interest close home. Just forget about him if he does not contact you in 3-5 days from now.
justwhoiam Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Any ideas? Eat some popcorn in the meantime
ChatroomHero Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 But he planned on visiting me. He still follows me on insta. Why then? And no we didnt meet on a dating app it was on instagram Posters have answered the 'why' already- he lost interest and/or a long distance person he never met is not a priority. When he decided you are not a priority and put other things before contacting you, it's not like he is just going to stop following you and drop you on all social media, he's just going to do other things instead of contacting you. After the thrill runs out it is kinda of boring just texting someone. There's no real investment so while it might be exciting and seem promising for a bit, when that wears off he's probably sitting there thinking, I should text her...but that movie I wanted to watch is on, I'll do it later tonight. or tomorrow. It's crappy on his part but happens a lot. It seems to wear off all at once too, like in the span of a couple of days. One day he's like, I should text her but I'll text her later...the next day it doesn't enter his mind to text you. If you've ever met someone in person on a date and end up being text buddies who can never seem to sync up schedules, you have more invested after meeting them but before long it becomes, eh, I'm tired of texting and goes to the back of your mind. Personally I wouldn't put any stock into someone you haven't met in person. The longer it goes the less likely anyone will be truthfully planning a trip to see the other. I think you have a fairly short period to cement the fact that you are serious about someone and a big part of that is meeting them, seeing how they look, talk, smile, smell, joke, laugh...without that it's never really real and becoming invested in a situation like that will probably not be the best idea. The 'why' doesn't matter. It's not an atypical thing to happen in a situation like this. What good does knowing the 'why' do you anyway? It's not like the answer will ever be anything good. It's not like he stopped texting because he was so in love and so invested and interested in you that... he just stopped texting. So forget the why and move on and know you'll be more savvy next time. 1
The Outlaw Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 Give him a few more days. Heck, text him first and see what he's up to. If you still get no response, then you really haven't lost anything. If he's given you the brush off, he wasn't ever worth it in the first place.
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 Posters have answered the 'why' already- he lost interest and/or a long distance person he never met is not a priority. When he decided you are not a priority and put other things before contacting you, it's not like he is just going to stop following you and drop you on all social media, he's just going to do other things instead of contacting you. After the thrill runs out it is kinda of boring just texting someone. There's no real investment so while it might be exciting and seem promising for a bit, when that wears off he's probably sitting there thinking, I should text her...but that movie I wanted to watch is on, I'll do it later tonight. or tomorrow. It's crappy on his part but happens a lot. It seems to wear off all at once too, like in the span of a couple of days. One day he's like, I should text her but I'll text her later...the next day it doesn't enter his mind to text you. If you've ever met someone in person on a date and end up being text buddies who can never seem to sync up schedules, you have more invested after meeting them but before long it becomes, eh, I'm tired of texting and goes to the back of your mind. Personally I wouldn't put any stock into someone you haven't met in person. The longer it goes the less likely anyone will be truthfully planning a trip to see the other. I think you have a fairly short period to cement the fact that you are serious about someone and a big part of that is meeting them, seeing how they look, talk, smile, smell, joke, laugh...without that it's never really real and becoming invested in a situation like that will probably not be the best idea. The 'why' doesn't matter. It's not an atypical thing to happen in a situation like this. What good does knowing the 'why' do you anyway? It's not like the answer will ever be anything good. It's not like he stopped texting because he was so in love and so invested and interested in you that... he just stopped texting. So forget the why and move on and know you'll be more savvy next time. He finally realized this after a month?! After telling me his private things that are going on in his life? Wtf. What would you do in my position right now? Should I contact him or let it be?
alphamale Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 he's just doing this for attention and to stroke his ego Britney25. he is probably married or otherwise attached. or he may not be what he claims to be... these kind of guys on OLD never intend to meet anyone IRL. 1
justicegrl Posted September 18, 2019 Posted September 18, 2019 (edited) Agree with others, is it really that big of deal anyway, you never even met the guy. Sounds like you've become too attached, he may have sensed it and is backing off a bit. Please don't tell us he is the only guy in your orbit, if so get out and start meeting and dating other men. Since you've never met you have no idea what he's like IRL, he may be completely different, in fact that may even be why he's backed off! People often create facades of themselves on line, they can be whomever and whatever they like and think a woman likes, but when real life hits (you said y'all have plans to meet?) they're off and running to be someone else with a different woman. That's what these cyber interactions are like. Sorry. Edit: He is reading your Instagram stories out of curiosity not because of any romantic interest. I do the same myself, don't read anything into it, it means nothing, only curiosity. Edited September 18, 2019 by justicegrl 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 he's just doing this for attention and to stroke his ego Britney25. he is probably married or otherwise attached. or he may not be what he claims to be... these kind of guys on OLD never intend to meet anyone IRL. Again we skyped so I know what he looks like and I k ow he is single 100%. So it cant be that. I'm thinking he lied and is not coming that's why the silence.
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 Agree with others, is it really that big of deal anyway, you never even met the guy. Sounds like you've become too attached, he may have sensed it and is backing off a bit. Please don't tell us he is the only guy in your orbit, if so get out and start meeting and dating other men. Since you've never met you have no idea what he's like IRL, he may be completely different, in fact that may even be why he's backed off! People often create facades of themselves on line, they can be whomever and whatever they like and think a woman likes, but when real life hits (you said y'all have plans to meet?) they're off and running to be someone else with a different woman. That's what these cyber interactions are like. Sorry. Edit: He is reading your Instagram stories out of curiosity not because of any romantic interest. I do the same myself, don't read anything into it, it means nothing, only curiosity. We skyped so he is not catfishing me whatsoever. I honestly think he is not coming at all and doesnt know what to tell me. Doesnt have the balls? Last thing he texted 3 days ago is how he so wants to see me in real life and I drive him crazy.
Author Britney25 Posted September 18, 2019 Author Posted September 18, 2019 Give him a few more days. Heck, text him first and see what he's up to. If you still get no response, then you really haven't lost anything. If he's given you the brush off, he wasn't ever worth it in the first place. Hell no I'm not texting first. 1
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