greymatter Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 If you are both initiating texts, there is nothing wrong with texting him to tell him you are going out of town and that you hope he has a nice weekend. However, if he has not been in contact much, then don't. Or wait until you are back, and check in then by asking how his weekend was. You've only been seeing each other a few weeks. Keep your expectations in check, try not to be insecure (that will just make you feel bad), and see how things unfold over time.
Interstellar Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 Kids always comes first and they don’t like a lot of change. In their eyes, they only have one mommy so he should not be introducing you to his kids in the early stages of dating, especially very early in the relationship. It’s more respectful to his children if he doesn’t run every, Sarah, Liz and Jane so that she can be mommy for three weeks, and kids don’t like random stranger woman telling them to eat their vegetables. Even adult children pose a problem.
Author mortensorchid Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 have you two slept together yet? if you have and have also established exclusivity then it is ok to ask these questions or make these statements We have not yet, I think we might soon either this weekend or next.
greymatter Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 The more I think about it, I think you are rushing way ahead of where things are to even be thinking about spending time with his kids. Also, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wanted to be with me "despite my kid." It reflects a negative attitude toward his situation whether you realize it or not, because it makes it sounds as if you are settling. He comes as a package deal. You don't really know enough about each other other to know if your relationship will go forward. It's early days, as people say on these boards. You haven't slept together yet and you haven't been dating for months and months, when some people might start to think about having a partner around their kids. I think you jumped the gun a bit to put it out there that you are okay with going to soccer games. Going forward, you should think about waiting until you are invited. Otherwise it could appear that you are overeager to nail him down and guarantee a spot in his life by offering to spend time with the kids after just weeks of dating. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted October 18, 2019 Author Posted October 18, 2019 Update: I saw him tonight over at his house we just hung around and watched TV. I gave him some cookies I baked for him and he was happy with them. 1
Blind-Sided Posted October 18, 2019 Posted October 18, 2019 Update: I saw him tonight over at his house we just hung around and watched TV. I gave him some cookies I baked for him and he was happy with them. Assuming you are a good baker... cookies were an excellent gift !! Good choice. Oh... glad you 2 are still seeing each other, and just "Hanging" out. Reading this thread is making me happy to know there may be a girl out there for me, who is OK with the kids, and less "Partying."
alphamale Posted October 18, 2019 Posted October 18, 2019 We have not yet, I think we might soon either this weekend or next. ok, keep us posted
SunnySide0418 Posted October 18, 2019 Posted October 18, 2019 You've only been dating for a few weeks and you're already just sitting at his house watching TV? He should be taking you dinner at least. Also, if I were him I'd be concerned that you don't have any kids. You just can't possibly understand what it's like unless you do. See what happens and don't mention hanging with the kids again. That's a big step especially for younger kids.
OatsAndHall Posted October 18, 2019 Posted October 18, 2019 I think you handled things well; you simply made yourself more available to him which is great. He had concerns about fitting you into his world and you opened up a door for him. With that being said, I would strongly suggest that you work yourself into this dynamic slowly, carefully and at your own pace. It's easy to become emotionally involved with kiddos, especially if they're young. This can have a lot of repercussions if you don't guard yourself a bit. It can skew your judgement when it comes to your relationship with their father and it can make a break-up far more painful. Honestly, my ex-wife and I only got together and stayed together because I adore her three sons. Every time things went seriously south with her, I would think about losing those boys and I wouldn't end things the way I should have. In the end, I did lose them and it took me a long time to bounce back from that aspect of the divorce.
Author mortensorchid Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 Hello. I recently started seeing this man in the last few weeks (check out other threads on this). Last Saturday, we were supposed to get together and he texted me that he was unable to join me for a party because there was some mix up with his kids/work. I said that was okay - I was going to a clambake and they tend to be expensive and only allow a set amount of guests at it (even if we ate off the same plate), and I got a no from the hosts that I could not bring someone even if he could come. He also wished me a Happy Sweetest Day which was on Saturday. For those of you who don't know, Google will tell you that Sweetest Day is kind of a rip off of Valentine's Day created by American Greetings. Very few people out of Northeast Ohio and maybe western PA know about it. I responded with a funny meme of Sweet Brown saying "Ain't nobody got time for that!" which he thought was funny ... But I want to surprise him because, well, I am in infatuation right now, and I was thinking of sending him flowers and a card that says "I did have time for that". Good idea or no?
Rayce Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 I am so happy for you but don't send flowers. That would be way over the top. It sounds like he is interested. Wishing you lots of love in this....
Ruby Slippers Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 I agree flowers are too much. Good luck!
BaileyB Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 I would send a text that said, just kidding. Happy sweetest day to you too.” 1
chillii Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 I would send a text that said, just kidding. Happy sweetest day to you too.” Yep , go with this one. Good luck with it all though.
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