malaiyas Posted May 16, 2019 Posted May 16, 2019 You've been told multiple times that your looks aren't the issue. You seem obsessive, driving this point into the ground until people are cornered and have to say something negative. It's almost like you want them to say you're unattractive. This is your rampant insecurity that you are projecting onto others, and nothing more. You need to work on your self-esteem and know from within that you are enough. Seeking validation (especially negative validation? Bizarre) from others will do little to help you in this arena.
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 16, 2019 Author Posted May 16, 2019 I know I need therapy, is that why these guys are giving me those answers instead of saying I’m attractive? Cause I’m projecting bad stuff onto them?
h0000 Posted May 16, 2019 Posted May 16, 2019 Look beauty is subjective. Some guys will say Megan Fox is ugly alright. you probably arent mainstream beauty, not the skinny, shining hair, smooth skin, perky ass, tan, VS model beauty and you arent going to get all the guys admiring and compliment your beauty. But most women arent that pretty. Important thing is to find that one guy who does think you are beautiful and be happy about it. And I'm sure there are guys who do find you attractive. Maybe I'm wrong but feels like you want most guys to find you attractive, and compliment you. well you shouldn't have that kind of mind set and its probably not realistic anyway.
malaiyas Posted May 16, 2019 Posted May 16, 2019 I do believe it is the poking and prodding. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - if a man tells you, "I believe you are," in response to you asking if he's attractive, why is that not enough? I don't see anything wrong with any of the answers you were given. It read to me that you didn't accept those answers, and continued to question them until they were worn down and had to say something negative to get you to stop. Confidence is the sexiest trait a person can have. You're exhibiting a complete lack thereof by questioning if a man finds you attractive in the first place. It really should be assumed that if a man kissed you, he found you attractive. It really should be assumed that if a man spends time with you... he finds you attractive! The real question is do YOU find yourself attractive?
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 16, 2019 Author Posted May 16, 2019 Look beauty is subjective. Some guys will say Megan Fox is ugly alright. you probably arent mainstream beauty, not the skinny, shining hair, smooth skin, perky ass, tan, VS model beauty and you arent going to get all the guys admiring and compliment your beauty. But most women arent that pretty. Important thing is to find that one guy who does think you are beautiful and be happy about it. And I'm sure there are guys who do find you attractive. Maybe I'm wrong but feels like you want most guys to find you attractive, and compliment you. well you shouldn't have that kind of mind set and its probably not realistic anyway. Can you still be pretty and not mainstream beauty?
amaysngrace Posted May 16, 2019 Posted May 16, 2019 (edited) You come off as being very needy. Being needy is NOT attractive. So maybe they think your face looks nice and give good head but your neediness destroys all that. Why are you giving oral to a man you just met? Why did you promise that? Edited May 17, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 16, 2019 Author Posted May 16, 2019 He talked me into it when I wasn’t sure I wanted to and told me he promises he will give me a second date if I do it or did a good job so I did it in hopes he would like me.
h0000 Posted May 16, 2019 Posted May 16, 2019 Can you still be pretty and not mainstream beauty? Of course. Guys like all sorts of beauty. Heck there are even guys who dont like the mainstream beauty. You will find someone who thinks you are beautiful. Im sure you have had guys who compliment you, you just dont think it's good enough because not every guy compliments you. Your problem maybe you know you arent mainstream beauty but you demand a treatment of one. Then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Sure it's a nice ego boost if every guy thinks you are hot but you need to find your confidence else where. Because beauty gets old.
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 16, 2019 Author Posted May 16, 2019 Of course. Guys like all sorts of beauty. Heck there are even guys who dont like the mainstream beauty. You will find someone who thinks you are beautiful. Im sure you have had guys who compliment you, you just dont think it's good enough because not every guy compliments you. Your problem maybe you know you arent mainstream beauty but you demand a treatment of one. Then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Sure it's a nice ego boost if every guy thinks you are hot but you need to find your confidence else where. Because beauty gets old. I know I’m not model beautiful but I think I have a pretty face and am cute in like the girl next door way.
Redhead14 Posted May 16, 2019 Posted May 16, 2019 am cute in like the girl next door way. Then "wear" that attitude. A large part of attractiveness is the way a person/woman carries herself and feels about herself. Accentuate your most favorite features, down play the least favorite. Take good care of yourself, treat yourself well. And do not tolerate disrespectful behavior and attitudes from people and especially men. Stop wearing the pity party on your sleeve. It's not attractive. 1
h0000 Posted May 16, 2019 Posted May 16, 2019 I know I’m not model beautiful but I think I have a pretty face and am cute in like the girl next door way. So you want every guy to compliment you "aw you are so cute and you have a such pretty face"?
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 16, 2019 Author Posted May 16, 2019 Uh no quit putting words in my mouth lol I wanted the guys I met to compliment me because I posted accurate photos of myself and facetimed with them . Every woman I know who’s met guys from dating sites in person, they all say the men complimented them and wanted to see them again and there’s nothing wrong with me wanting the same thing to happen to me.
h0000 Posted May 17, 2019 Posted May 17, 2019 (edited) LOL NO WAY ALL these woman get EVERY guy they met compliment their looks on their first date. And Im sure they dont ASK the guy they met "am I pretty". Look, if you want some change, then start changing yourself. Generally speaking, everyone can benefit from losing some weight, clearing the skin, fixing the hair and wearing makeup IN THE RIGHT WAY. Then go to theory and fix your inner issues. Doing nothing to yourself but keep asking internet strangers what's happening is going to be a waste of time. Edited May 17, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
Redhead14 Posted May 17, 2019 Posted May 17, 2019 Every woman I know who’s met guys from dating sites in person, they all say the men complimented them Exactly how many women do you know asked men if they though they were cute? And, exactly how many women do you know who went on dates from men online? Unless you're talking about a significant number of them, your experiential pool is limited and not a basis for expectation.
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Posted May 17, 2019 Exactly how many women do you know asked men if they though they were cute? And, exactly how many women do you know who went on dates from men online? Unless you're talking about a significant number of them, your experiential pool is limited and not a basis for expectation. I’m talking about all the women who talked about their experiences with meeting men from dating sites in person. I know, I assume the men complimented them without asking. I’m saying I wanted that same experience, to be complimented without asking for one.
Redhead14 Posted May 17, 2019 Posted May 17, 2019 (edited) I’m talking about all the women who talked about their experiences with meeting men from dating sites in person. I know, I assume the men complimented them without asking. I’m saying I wanted that same experience, to be complimented without asking for one. Sure, of course, it would be nice. But you have to remember that that just doesn't happen every time for every woman either. It is what it is. If the guy is being attentive and respectful and spending time with you, that is an indicator at least that he finds you attractive enough. And, then there's the flip side, sometimes guys lather on the compliments and don't mean them or are being over zealous in order to get a girl into bed. Chillax and observe how the guy is behaving when he's with you and enjoy the attention at least as long as he is being respectful and treating you well and your are having a good time you should feeling attractive. Just hope they don't say, "hey, you've got a great personality" Edited May 17, 2019 by Redhead14
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Posted May 17, 2019 What about when they say “your so nice “ and agree to see me again but then of course that guy canceled the second date , when asked why he didn’t say anything about my looks til I asked, he said he was shy but he kissed me still but then there’s the other two who said they liked my personality more than my looks, when I asked but they still thought I looked beautiful or cute or something like that and they kissed me too.
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Posted May 17, 2019 And not to sound gross but they got well turned on when they were with me and one didn’t know why he was turned on by me .
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Posted May 17, 2019 Another thing, one ex I met for the first time when I was wearing makeup, we met up again a year after he dumped me, it was a super short one month relationship where we only seen each other 4 times and I wore makeup all those times but when he seen me without makeup recently he said “so you wanted to know what I think of you without makeup? Well you still look good” he said while giggling nervously I assume , then he said “makeup just makes you look better that’s all” it made me insecure when he said that cause I only wear mascara and eyeliner, no foundation or false lashes but he’s outgoing but kinda awkward so I’m hoping he didn’t know how to say that makeup just enhances beauty but it came out wrong, same guy who said he likes my personality the best cause that’s most important to hI m but still said I’m beautiful.
TheFinalWord Posted May 17, 2019 Posted May 17, 2019 Well, pictures are 2D. Things don't always look the same in real life (3D). But, overall, you're taking the word of men that you don't know, way too seriously. Most of these guys aren't looking for anything serious, and since you're talking sex with them so quick, they know they can get sex easy and they're trying to downplay the romance by telling you how great you look. Why do all that and send you mixed messages when they're just looking for sex. Right now it sounds like you have a poor self-image and you're letting these guys use you sexually to validate that you are attractive. Not trying to be mean or anything, but you sound like you are wondering if men are attracted to big girls. Some are, but most men are attracted to average size/slimmer women. Just like some women like dad bods, but most women like guys that are athletic looking. If you are not showing your body in your profile, and only your face, it could explain why some aren't sticking around. After being fooled by the camera shots a few times, I now no longer go out with women I meet on OLD unless they provide a body shot in their profile. I found women use top down pictures, show only their faces, use a lot of snapchat filters, or angle themselves certain ways to conceal their body shape. If you are being honest, and come across confident, the men going out with you are finding you attractive. If you are being honest in your profile pics, but are coming across as not confident, then they are probably not finding you attractive for anything more than quick sex.
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Posted May 17, 2019 He also got turned on too at the same time but didn’t really like being affectionate in public but what bothered me was he told me doesn’t show affection to girls he thinks doesn’t look attractive in public but he was talking about his ex then but when I asked him recently , he thought she is pretty but he was mad at her so that’s why he said those things about her. It’s just these guys get turned on by me but say things to make me question myself or appearance.
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Posted May 17, 2019 My pics are honest, I use recen full body pics, they say they like big girls and I seen pics where their ex looks big so yea I’m honest with my pics.
Author Alugo6340 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Posted May 17, 2019 Well, pictures are 2D. Things don't always look the same in real life (3D). But, overall, you're taking the word of men that you don't know, way too seriously. Most of these guys aren't looking for anything serious, and since you're talking sex with them so quick, they know they can get sex easy and they're trying to downplay the romance by telling you how great you look. Why do all that and send you mixed messages when they're just looking for sex. Right now it sounds like you have a poor self-image and you're letting these guys use you sexually to validate that you are attractive. Not trying to be mean or anything, but you sound like you are wondering if men are attracted to big girls. Some are, but most men are attracted to average size/slimmer women. Just like some women like dad bods, but most women like guys that are athletic looking. If you are not showing your body in your profile, and only your face, it could explain why some aren't sticking around. After being fooled by the camera shots a few times, I now no longer go out with women I meet on OLD unless they provide a body shot in their profile. I found women use top down pictures, show only their faces, use a lot of snapchat filters, or angle themselves certain ways to conceal their body shape. If you are being honest, and come across confident, the men going out with you are finding you attractive. If you are being honest in your profile pics, but are coming across as not confident, then they are probably not finding you attractive for anything more than quick sex. I also took recent non sexual videos of me so they have an idea how I look in real life with no filters or nothing and they could see my full body too.
PinkPampies Posted May 17, 2019 Posted May 17, 2019 First off, that wall of text is very very difficult to read. Use paragraphs! Second, how would you respond if your date kept asking if you thought he was attractive? Guarantee you’d be immediately put off by their insecurities. That’s what they’re feeling with you. Stop that! you’re not in a position for a relationship or dating if you’re that insecure and guys are able to “talk you into” sexual favors. Cmon you’re better than this!
damni Posted May 17, 2019 Posted May 17, 2019 You sound like you have a mental health issue. Please go see a doctor, we cannot help you here.
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