Guys will compliment me then be mean later and tell me they never meant it?

[Alugo6340]

At this point I just want to die I really do. I seriously feel hideous right now. I met 12 guys online then in person and only 5 wanted to see me again and 3 almost 4 wanted to leave during middle of the date .

 

I’m seriously gonna take pills and end my life. I been told I look like my pics and everything but I just don’t know anymore. I don’t have any friends or anything. I only hear about men getting rejected after first dates but never women. Any time I search the internet and type in “got rejected by a guy on first date” and I only get “got rejected by a woman after first date” it’s always about men who get rejected after first dates but women it’s after a few dates or a relationship.

 

I’m not sure if men are more vocal about it online or if I’m just in the minority for being a hideous troll or what. I just get tired of kissing on the first dates (no sex) only to get told “I’m not feeling it” or ghosted right after it ended the same day cause it then turns into tiny flings. These are guys who want relationships on their profile but I have had nice Christian virgin types that rejected me too after first or second date. This week I been rejected by two guys.

 

One after the first date and he blocked me and the other guy after second date but he probably felt bad for me cause he knew the other guy rejected me after the first date and I was upset and the second date he didn’t feel a connection which I don’t understand because he said he was looking for a Christian woman who just accepted him for him and that’s what I tried to do. I told him I didn’t mind a couple differences between us but he still wasn’t interested in me after that. He wasn’t good looking at all but I’m not shallow and liked him anyway and would tell him he’s handsome too but still at the end of the day I get a “your a sweet nice person but I didn’t feel the same way you did and I’m so sorry”.

 

Being called a “sweet “ or “nice “ person feels like the kiss of death for women too. I was this really cute girl he liked before he met me in person and now I’m just “sweet person who will find someone right for me” ouch. He still thought I was cute in person but he just didn’t feel the same he even cried cause he felt bad for turning me down. I just don’t get it tho. I don’t know what to do. I had a guy that turned around and walked away when he saw me wearing the same outfit I showed him the day before we met, through pics until I ran up to him and then he smiled the whole time and kissed me and held my hand so I thought if he kissed me, maybe he didn’t actually find me that repulsive, maybe he got intimidated or was looking past me at first but then he was on his phone most of the date.

 

I told him I was going to the restroom and I was and missed 5 of his calls and he ran out and never heard from him again. Another guy and I chatted for a few weeks and he wanted a relationship with me and then when he met me, he kept wanting to makeout in his car and I said “no not until later in the first date” and he took my sunglasses off and pulled me in for a kiss and I pulled away then he drove away right when I used the restroom for 3 min and didn’t answer my calls or texts til the next day saying he felt “ugly cause I moved away from his kiss “ I assured him I was just uncomfortable.

 

I felt like I was hideous tho and that’s why he took off quickly. We arranged a second meet but he would always cancel and has sent me some unsolicited nudes and told me to send nudes back so he could jack off, I blocked him . Another guy has left early in the date too. These guys that lose interest after meeting me , they don’t flirt with me anymore. Some just disappear or they become texting buddies and only flirt with me sexually sometimes and call me cute but cancel second dates. I want to know if any other woman has had this much bad luck after the first dates. It feels more personal after the first date than the second date but it still hurts. All these guys are from online. I video chatted with some of these guys before meeting and everything, full body shots everything and I still get rejected despite being told I’m cute or I look like my pics and everything.

 

I'm so sad, I try online dating cause I’m shy and guys don’t talk to me much in real life so I don’t get hit on or anything. I’m so sad I don’t want to eat or anything and I honestly don’t feel like living anymore. I really want hear other people’s experiences and how they dealt with being told “I’m sorry there’s no connection” after the first dates from online dating sites.

 

All these guys were from online dating sites. Just to clarify , these guys still agreed to meet up in person with me even tho they knew about me being upset about my rejection experiences before so I don’t think me being upset about my past has anything to do with it.

Edited April 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[chillii]

But that still leaves 3 or 4 guys you can still date doesn't it , how much more you want.

But yep , it's all over the internet you must have your eyes closed.

Only this morning in another thread l was saying to the guys don't you see the 100s of threads about women having all the same problems.

They all gripe about the women getting more hits but the end result just seems exactly the same to me, think they just get to kick more toads.

And when l was on one women l met who were the pick of the crop all still hjad all the same problems,

So don't worry , it's def' not just you.

Seems to just go with the old territory .

[ExpatInItaly]

One after the first date and he blocked me and the other guy after second date but he probably felt bad for me cause he knew the other guy rejected me after the first date and I was upset

 

How did he know this, OP? Is this something you talk about on your dates?

 

If so, that is part of the problem. It is off-putting to describe previous negative experiences, especially on the first date. Nobody wants to hear how their date was hurt by the previous one.

 

Also, why do you not have any friends? Do you have any hobbies or interests? It could be that these guys sense you don't have much else going on and thus get anxious that you will revolve your whole world around them. It creates the impression that you don't have a life, which is not generally all that appealing.

 

And trust me, women do get rejected after the first date. You need to read these forums a little more carefully if you don't see the threads about women who are not having much luck with dating. You are not the only one who feels frustrated and unhappy. Having said that, I would encourage you to reflect on the two points I made above - changing your approach and enriching your own life will likely increase your chances of success.

[d0nnivain]

Do not kill yourself. Your problem is fixable.

 

Step 1: Get off OLD. Seriously. It's a terrible place filled with broken people.

 

Step 2: Do things to improve your social skills. I know you said you are shy. Most people are but being gregarious & charming as an adult is a learned skill. I never knew I was good at working a room until I had to. Take some adult education type business classes about learning how to network and engage in personal branding & marketing. They will teach you about eye contact, personal space, reading body language & having a firm handshake. All of that translates into dating.

 

Step 3: Boost your own self esteem. The fact that you say these guys probably felt sorry for you because they knew the other guy rejected you tells me you come across as clingy & oh so desperate when you go on these dates. The idea that these guys agreed to meet you after you told them how "upset you were from your rejection experiences" is why you repeatedly get rejected. Those guys should never have known the other guys existed let alone the they rejected you. They knew it because you told them. Never ever treat a date like a personal therapist or a life coach. In the beginning you have to project nothing but confidence. What you did was say: I'm a desperate loser please have pity on me. That is not attractive. You will have so much more dating success when you stop that.

 

Step 4: Fix your picker. You are agreeing to date men who are open to dating you when you say & do all the wrong things. You did good by blocking the guy who asked for nudes but you have all these bad dates because you telegraph what a doormat you are willing to be just so you don't have to be alone. You invite them to disrespect you from the outset because you have no self respect & you are so desperate to be coupled up you will do anything not to be alone. You need to be a whole, heathy, happy, stable person before you can be part of a couple. Until you bring something to the table instead of seeking a partner in a futile attempt to have that person fill in the holes in your soul, you will never find a good relationship.

 

 

Take hiatus from dating. Work on yourself. Figure out who you are as an autonomous being. Make yourself happy. Then when you find balance in your own life, seek companionship to enrich the life you built for yourself rather than expecting another person to give you a life.

 

Best wishes. You can do this but you may need help from a good talk therapist.

[stillafool]

Sure women get rejected after the first date all the time. Start reading some old threads here and you will see plenty of women have been ghosted after the first date and after first time sex. So you had 5 guys who wanted to see you again and what was wrong with them that makes you want to kill yourself?

[damni]

Plenty of women get rejected and ghosted.

 

I was rejected many times when I was online dating. I am an acquired taste! I finally met my boyfriend and we been dating a year now.

 

All I can say is maybe retake your pictures, that way you can cut a lot these guys out who don't find you attractive.

[d0nnivain]

All I can say is maybe retake your pictures, that way you can cut a lot these guys out who don't find you attractive.

 

Her photo is not the problem. The problem is she leads with how many other men have already rejected her then wonders why the ones she meets are . . . unsuitable.

[elaine567]

The problem is she leads with how many other men have already rejected her then wonders why the ones she meets are . . . unsuitable.

^^^

OP.

Stop advertising your downsides.

If you want to bring up dating as a topic, then tell a funny anecdote, not a sad tale about how the last guy rejected you.

People want to be entertained, they don't tend to want to be involved in depressing stuff.

[PinkPampies]

You need real thick skin for OLD. Not for the faint of heart lol. You can’t expect to have a connection with everyone. If they’re honest and tell you they don’t feel the same, at least they have integrity and don’t lead you on! It’s perfectly normal to butt heads when dating online, because you don’t meet first in real lifeAllife, so that initial chemistry is missing. It can’t be forced.

 

Also, I would narrow down your man picker. Perhaps only go on dates with men who you could potentially see a future with - and be upfront about what you are looking for and what you’re not. But DONT under any circumstances relay all your bad experiences and your rejections. That’s entirely the wrong energy to project while dating and puts you in a negative light.

 

Go into this with absolutely no expectations. That way, you won’t be disappointed buy mY be pleasantly surprised.

 

Also, don’t let any other person, including potential dates, define your self worth. This shouldn’t make you so upset. If you’re feeling so worthless, you’re definitely projecting it. And it’s picked up on. Love you for you. Not what someone else thinks.

[smackie9]

I can see it from here...you are being a debbie downer on these dates that has them running. You look great, but when you open your mouth the mood is shot. Being depressed, talking negatively, talking about failing, or anything like that is a turn off.

I bet money on it, if you were positive, cheerful, bubbly, flirty, and all smiles, you will have better success. You get more bees with honey, honey.

[TheFinalWord]

Be glad you are getting dates! A large amount of men using OLD don't get any dates or messages.

 

Most of these guys sound like they have no game, or are only looking for casual sex. One guy called you 5 times when you were in the restroom? Be glad he left. The other guy sends you nudes. Why would you even want anything to do with him?

 

You should feel good because you have standards, and those standards are causing the loser guys to bolt. Your standards are working. But you also shouldn't go out with a guy you don't find attractive. All you are going to end up doing is rejecting him. My main advice is stick to your standards. Actually increase them so you don't go on dates with men you find unattractive.

 

Why did you need his validation? Why do you want loser guys sending you nudes to chase you? That's something you need to ask yourself. A bit of reality you must accept: not every guy is going to like you. It's something you have to learn to accept in life. I know it's a blow to the ego, but you have to accept that fact. Even the most attractive people, at most, only 80% of people are going to find them attractive.

Edited April 25, 2019 by TheFinalWord

[ericw899]

Here’s a little advice. Cut down or delete the online dating. Trust me. I was someone who only used online dating for years & I constantly met broken girls or girls who were nut cases & I became convinced all girls were crazy. But once I started going out in real life more I started talking to real women & it was like my image of the whole female gender changed. They were sweet, kind hearted, confident, well balanced women & I couldn’t believe they existed. (I still haven’t had the confidence to ask one out in real life but that’s my issue lol) Point is, just like with women, most men online are nutcases & are not a true indicator of men in real life. I encourage you & ask you to just go out in the real world, it doesn’t matter where & you will find well balanced, classy men who you won’t even believe existed

Edited April 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Foxhall]

I am feeling too tired to read or absorb all your post,(I have had a long day) but a few things caught my eye, like there is a lot of information or you are trying to unload a lot of baggage,

 

 

do you bring an anxiousness with you to the dates table that frightens the guys away,

 

 

you also seem to get into a sexual tone very early with these guys, swapping nude photos etc.

 

 

I think you sound like a decent girl at heart though.

 

 

the online dating can be a minefield but there are good guys out there. you need to be meet different more cultured guys who have some emotional intelligence.

 

 

Personally I feel I could help you (lol that's a lame chat up line) in a sense of sharing feelings and helping to work through anxious muddled thoughts,

 

 

what I am trying to say really is that you need to meet like minded people who are genuine and respectful.

 

 

do not get disheartened, chin up , there are better days ahead

[Gretchen12]

ONLine dating is harder than meeting people in person. Women get approached by men regularly. If men are not approaching you, it is easier to fix that than to continue with online dating. I don't know you so I don't know why men are not approaching you. Try to explore this more. Most women I know get hit on at least once a month by some guy. Of course location, and whether or not you hide at home, makes a difference how often men hit on you. Definitely in a metro area, it is very common.

[spiderowl]

I am sorry you've had upsetting experiences, OP. Do not harm yourself; there is nothing wrong with you. The only thing wrong here is that you are not filtering guys out properly.

 

I get the feeling you are trying to please these guys rather than asking yourself if THEY are right for you.

 

I would strongly advise against allowing anyone to share nude pics with you. The type of guys who do this are just idiots. The ones who ask for more and more pics are dodgy. Once they have seen a full body pic, they really do not need to see more.

 

Guys who send naked pics to you are not gentleman. They are laying out what they want from you - sex. They do not care what you want; it is all about them. It is not surprising that they lose interest if they do not get sex straight off. And please do not give it to them! They are just users.

 

I think you need to filter guys out better. Reject them at the chatting online stage if:

 

- they are not gentleman

- they make more than a few sexual references

- they ask for or try to send naked pics

- they talk about their interests but do not appear to listen to yours

- they do not give you adequate time to meet for a date (say a couple of days in advance)

- they say anything disrespectful

- they do not take your likes/dislikes into consideration

- they tell you what you should do/wear or how you should behave with them.

 

Decide how you want a man to treat you and drop those who do not do so. You might fear you will end up on your own - yes you will for a short while - but word gets around and any guy wanting you will know that you have high standards and he will have to make an effort. He is also more likely to respect you for your standards.

 

Once you accept lower standards from a guy, you will be expected to put up with that for however long you date him.

 

You are worried that guys will reject you on a date, but strangely enough rejecting lower standards from a guy can actually make him more determined to prove he is worthy of you. Obviously, you would not reject someone for the fun of it, but stick to your standards and you will find that the dates get better as you will be meeting those who meet your standards and who have made the effort to arrange something with you.

Edited April 26, 2019 by spiderowl

[Youngestdaughter]

First of all, don't even talk about killing yourself. If you are a Christian, you believe God put you on this earth for a purpose. If you had served it, the good Lord would have taken you himself. SO, STOP THAT. And see a therapist. If you can't afford one, I'm sure your church has a counselor or even a preacher...unless you don't to church.

 

Not all Christians do, but you should for reasons that might not have occurred to you. It will get you out of the house and around other like minded people. You might want to try a big church. They often have singles' Sunday School and other functions. Meet people in person, not online. Stop thinking about finding a man for a while. A good friend of mine once told me, "Don't look to people to make you happy. Seek God and he will bring the right kind of people in your life." You seem to think a man will be the cure all for everything that ails you. I haven't seen you. But I would bet my second favorite dog your looks have nothing to do with the luck you're having with men.

 

I don't mean to be harsh, but you're clearly miserable and overly eager to please. Forget that. If you don't value yourself, bi one else will. Google neuroplasticity . It's the science of restructuring your brain through positive thoughts. Like Paul said, "Water is good and lovely and worthy of praise, think on these things..." Again, forgive me, but you're mindset is not in keeping with what God wants for you. Do you think he made a mistake in creating you? That these men online know your value better than he? I have let men's treatment of me affect my self esteem. Then I realized that it was their issue, not mine.

 

Do you have hobbies, passions, pursuits? Things you do well that make you feel good about yourself? Do them! You got work to do on you before you should even think about a man. And when you are ready, remember attractiveness is about so much more than dress size and eye color. Nothing is sexier than a confident woman who's comfortable with who she is. Nothing is more appealing than a sweet, well meaning nature. Do you know who Jackie Kennedy Onassis is? She was not a beautiful woman.

 

And she married a president and a billionaire! It was the way she carried herself, the way she talked to everyone like they were the only one in the room, her soft, sweet nature. But most importantly, she knew who she was and was comfortable in her own skin. So, to recap: no more talk about suicide. Talk to someone. Work on improving your thoughts through neuroplasticity. Do things you like that make you feel good about yourself.

 

Find a church with a single group. Be yourself and not who you think anyone wants you to be. And, when you do start meeting men, think about whether you like him and not just whether he likes you. I can almost promise the man God has in mind for you will show up after you stop looking so hard. Get to work. I will be praying for you.

 

Remember that you are valuable and worthy. Even I can tell you have an open heart and sweet giving nature. And any man who can't see that ISN'T WORTHY OF YOU!

Edited April 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Youngestdaughter]

Do you go to church? If you don't have a shrink, you need to talk to your pastor. This self loathing is not Christian. You have so much work to do before you're ready for a relationship. Google neuroplasticity. It's a way of restructuring your brain through positive thoughts.

 

Please believe I mean well when I say, though I've not seen you, I would bet the farm your issues with men have nothing to do with your looks. You're clearly miserable and lacking in confidence, not to mention eager to please. And, Sweetie, these are not things that draw people to you. Talk to someone, practice positive thinking. Engage in hobbies, passions and pursuits at which you excel and make you feel good about yourself. Then join a church with singles' activities. Meet men there, not online.

 

You already have an open heart and giving nature. You just need to figure out who you are and be comfortable in your own skin. Nothing is sexier than that. Ever hear of Jackie Kennedy Onassis? Not a great beauty in the classic sense. But she landed a president and a billionaire! Take care of you and I would bet the man God has in mind for you will show up when you stop looking so hard. And remember, like the apostle Paul said, "Whatever is food, whatever is lovely and worthy of praise..think on these things." I will be praying for you.

Edited April 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Alugo6340]

So if you look at my other post , I am trying online dating and met 12 guys and now two more in person from the internet. I met 14 guys in person from dating apps. I talk about being ghosted, guys walking out on me during mid date or doing the slow fade til they never talk to me again after meeting me in person. I noticed also that I forgot to put in my other thread that they don’t compliment me in person.

 

They dont compliment my looks in person but they have before they actually met me, based on my pics and video chatting. I hear about other women meeting guys from dating sites and they all say the guys tell them how “beautiful” they look in person or how “much better looking” they are in person blah blah blah . This has never been the case with me. I wish it was cause then I would think the rejection isn’t so much about my appearance. I only had two or three guys that met me in person from dating sites out of the now 14 that I met, tell me I look good or beautiful or something like that. A lot of these guys before meeting me in person won’t actually give me a hug like they said they would when they finally meet me. It makes me feel ogrelike. I let the guys make the first move and I don’t force them to hug me.

 

They just tell me they will hug me in person when they see me then they don’t but eventually I say something them something like “I remember you telling me you were gonna hug me when you see me” and they would hug me then or if they didn’t compliment me I would say “do you think I look cute or pretty in person? You didn’t compliment me? “ They would say “hell yes” or “yes your still cute” I usually get “your a sweet person “ or “I think your great” but I just feel like their friend zoning me . One guy that didn’t compliment me until I asked him if he still found me pretty in person , I found out he told one of his friends on Facebook that I was pretty but he rejected me tho cause we didn’t have much in common. Yes some of these guys despite saying their looking for a girlfriend on their profile, they still were looking for a sexual type of relationship.

 

I rejected two guys lately cause they were too sexual but they were that way before meeting me even then they never talked to me again. One guy I just met from a dating app took my virginity recently when he talked me into it while I wasn’t fully comfortable cause I wanted to wait a few dates but somehow he got me to agree with it but then when he was teasing me down there that’s when without checking with me first, he well took my virginity real fast and before he met me in person he would tell me he will be with me forever and ever and that I shouldn’t talk to any guys or he will be mad but after meeting him in person and him taking my virginity, he told me I was a real “chill person “ and he still said “yes your cute” but he told me after that to “let’s explore other people “

 

but told me he wasn’t using me cause he’s still talking to me and he would of blocked me but that we can hang out again and watch movies and just talk next time but he would have to look at his schedule. He became distant and didn’t bother chasing after me the next day when I blocked him on kik. I blocked him cause I didn’t want to get hurt by him . When you block and unblock, the block person still sends messages that you can see. When I unblocked him, I saw he didn’t leave any messages so he didn’t care. He also told me he was a virgin. I don’t know how true that part was. He bought two condoms in his wallet. He was flirty and sexual before we met so yea I rejected him cause I didn’t want to get rejected by him.

 

I rejected another guy who wanted to give me pity sex cause I got used by the guy I just rejected and it turns out he was also sexual and he insulted me on my teeth so I rejected him too let alone he has unprotected sex without condoms cause he doesnt precum but he was willing to have sex with me on the second meet so I could according to him , have “heavenly real sex” so I blocked him cause I didn’t need his pity. So it feels good to turn some guys down but yea these are the first two I just blocked and stopped talking to but everyone else rejected me at some point and most did after the first date.

 

I feel like the last few guys that wanted to see me again only agreed to see me a second time cause they knew I been rejected a lot and I broke down and cried the last couple times cause the guy that took my virginity looked like he was about to walk right out after having sex with me it, I cried and said “are you leaving?” and the other two guys knew I got rejected a lot and I felt bad about it so I felt they just felt bad for me so that’s why they agreed to a second. I blocked them cause I didn’t need pity. I didn’t intend to break down crying on my last few dates, I just didn’t want them to walk out on me mid date when it’s happened more than once. I post full body pics too.

 

The video chatting thing is recent cause I only started doing it with 5 guys and It still doesn’t work out. Sorry this was long. I normally don’t cry on my dates , it only happened the last few times. I have had guys agree to see me again in the past when I was happier and didn’t get upset and we see each other again but it’s been awhile. I been having bad luck on first dates lately. I’m wondering if it’s normal for guys not to compliment women in person when finally meeting cause their too shy or what? Same with not giving them a hug.i been told I look sad or nervous or uncomfortable at first the last few times I been on a first date with OLD.

 

Should I get upset if I don’t get a hug right away or don’t get complimented on my appearance when they meet me in person? Oh and I ask people for feedback on my pics that know me irl, they say I look like my pics, the guys say that too when I ask them. I just don’t know why they compliment my looks before meeting me and when they finally do , they don’t say anything unless I ask.

Edited April 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[basil67]

Hi Alugo, what did you think of the advice on your previous thread?

 

You say that a few of these guys took you on a second date because they knew you'd been rejected a lot and felt sorry for you. How did they know you've been rejected a lot? I hope you've not been grumbling about past men to current dates - it won't serve you well.

 

As for compliments, they are generally just a throwaway line. Look at how a guy treats you rather than what he says.

[Alugo6340]

I forgot to mention this in my last post here but when you meet a guy online and meet him in person for the first time for a date, is it bad if he doesn’t compliment your appearance like he did before he met you in person? I think I asked this question before once on here but only got one response. My last post was similar but I didn’t give a lot of details cause my post was getting too long and I just want to vent. I have had guys text me and tell me they think I’m “cute “ or “pretty” but when they meet me in person, they don’t say anything about my looks unless I ask then they say”yea I still think your pretty”.

 

Only a few of those guys actually complimented my appearance in person out of the 14 guys I’ve met from dating sites in person. Some haven’t even hugged me when they first meet me despite them texting me stuff like “I’m gonna give you a big hug when I see you” but when they actually meet me in person they don’t hug me until I mention ‘Remember when you said you’ll hug me?” . I don’t know if these guys get shy or nervous or even intimidated (doubt it) when they finally meet me or if they found me ugly and quite revolting so they coil in disgust.

 

I mentioned in my last post that a few guys walked out on me during mid date after 20 to 40 minutes of meeting me in person and the rest (more than half the guys I met didn’t have cars so they probably didn’t leave cause they couldn’t get away from me fast enough) just stuck it out for a couple hours with me and then I eighter get blocked and ghosted after the first meet or we schedule a second date til they keep canceling and eventually fall off the face of the earth.

 

Eighter way whether they walked out during the date early on or stuck it out, they all stop talking to me like eighter right after the date or a few days after. I did get like a few mini relationships from dating sites and also a few guys aside from the ones I dated for 3 weeks to a month. Some guys were flirty with me for a few days after meeting me in person but then after that they do the slow fade or cancel second dates.

 

Only a few guys out of the 14 I met , complimented me in person , even the ones I ended up with for a small bit, didn’t compliment me til I asked if they still found me pretty in person then they compliment me randomly if they get in a mini relationship with me but most guys rejected me after the first meet or walked out early in the date. I don’t know why they would. Most of these guys video chatted with me or seen a video of me talking that was recent. I don’t understand how I could possibly look drastically different in real life compared to video chat or video?

 

Lol I provided full body pics, they tell me I’m pretty and they like my body but once they meet me in person this stuff happens and I get ghosted, rejected, not complimented on or hugged until I mention it. I ask some guys why they didn’t hug or compliment me in person, they said they were trying to talk to me and “break the ice first” I don’t know I want to believe them but due to guys leaving early on in the first date or being ghosted shortly after , or I don’t know just not getting a hug or being told “wow your gorgeous!” Like most women get told when they meet someone in person, it’s really upsetting.

 

I post full recent body pics and everything. I also talk to these guys like a week max before meeting in person.They like big girls. They seen that I’m a big girl in my pics from head to toe and they were fine with it so I don’t think it’s about me possibly looking fatter in real life. It’s not about me talking about being rejected by other guys cause I told them that before meeting me so that they won’t ghost or walk out during the date with me and they tell me they won’t do that and they agree to meet me anyway but still do this instead of the “I’m not feeling it”.

 

The guys that walked out early in the date were looking for something sexual even to fool around but they knew I wasn’t ready for that but still agreed to meet me in person and bring it up on the first meet anyway but I’ll make a new post about those type of guys. Only a few guys were honest to where they said they weren’t “feeling it” it stilled bummed me out but not anywhere near to being walked out on early or ghosted after the first date to never hear from them again.

 

I never hear about women being walked out on a date early, I hear women do get rejected after first dates cause I posted on reddit and women shared their experience a little bit but when it comes to ditching early in a date I only heard of women doing it . I mean why else would guys ditch me early on the first meet when we video chatted unless they for some reason didn’t like how I looked? Unless maybe I give off a bad vibe?

 

I don’t know and I usually hear how women get complimented on in the first date when a guy meets them in person. Only a few guys have complimented me in person so has any woman had a guy not compliment their looks in person? Or not hug them or even ditched them early in the date?

 

How did you handle it? Again I gave them recent full body pics, video chatted with them etc, still get ditched early in date sometimes and no compliment on my appearance when finally meeting.

Edited May 3, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[todreaminblue]

hey ...sometimes people dont reply to walls of texts try breaking it up a little you can even edit it after you finish writing it....before you hit send...says me who writes with a zillion ellipses.....the thing is i know it to be true that posters are less likely to reply with a wall of text to read...

 

as far as your post goes...online dating is a minefield in a meat market ...and a lot of guys are just out for sex...maybe online dating isnt the right forum for you to find a lasting relationship on....maybe there's other ways...like joining some groups you are passionate about....to meet the right type of men for you....deb

[frus69]

I dont think it's necessarily bad. I dont think guys would always go out of their way to compliment a girl? Because the subject of beauty almost never comes up in an average conversation. Why would he say " Im really hungery, keen for some pizza. Oh and you are so beautiful".

 

When I meet guys they dont compliment me unless we are talking about "why did you swipe on me" or alike, and that's ok. Even if they dont say it I can just feel they like me so they must think im pretty, right? It's also a bad look to actually ask them "am I beautiful?. Makes you look insecure.

[todreaminblue]

I dont think it's necessarily bad. I dont think guys would always go out of their way to compliment a girl? Because the subject of beauty almost never comes up in an average conversation. Why would he say " Im really hungery, keen for some pizza. Oh and you are so beautiful".

 

When I meet guys they dont compliment me unless we are talking about "why did you swipe on me" or alike, and that's ok. Even if they dont say it I can just feel they like me so they must think im pretty, right? It's also a bad look to actually ask them "am I beautiful?. Makes you look insecure.

 

i agree with this thoughtful post...deb

[Alugo6340]

I geuss I meant it more like he sees you in person for the first time and says “hey there you are! Wow you look beautiful “

[frus69]

I think some guys will say that but not everyone. Not everyone is complimentary. I dont compliment every guy, doesnt mean they don't impress me.