max3732 Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 I matched with the woman on Bumble a few days ago and she's sent me a few messages there and then gave me her number. This morning she asked if I'm busy and said she wants to talk on the phone. This is the first woman who has given me her number right away and then wanted to talk. What do I do on this call? How long should we talk? What topics? Is it just to setup a real date?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 If I were asking someone to talk on the phone I'd be checking to see if he didn't sound creepy, had good grammar, didn't sound like a smoker, could hold a conversation, didn't jump right into sexual innuendo type talk, didn't only talk about himself.... 2
smackie9 Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 It's not exactly what you talk about it's how you talk and interact. If you are too quiet, have a squeaky voice, and stutter a lot...she's not going on a date with you. Get it?
alphamale Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 What do I do on this call? How long should we talk? What topics? Is it just to setup a real date? you talk with her and find commonalities20-30 minutes maxanything besides politics or religion, your experience with OLD is a good subject to talk aboutyes, that and to "feel" each other out 2
I'veseenbetterlol Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 If I were asking someone to talk on the phone I'd be checking to see if he didn't sound creepy, had good grammar, didn't sound like a smoker, could hold a conversation, didn't jump right into sexual innuendo type talk, didn't only talk about himself.... For sure! There was one guy who refused to have any sort of communication outside of messaging on the dating site. We talked for months and after some time we went on a date. I understood why he only wanted to communicate through message. There was definitely something off about him. Had I talked to him on the phone, there would have been no date. He did some creepy things after I rejected him. 1
Watercolors Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 you talk with her and find commonalities20-30 minutes maxanything besides politics or religion, your experience with OLD is a good subject to talk aboutyes, that and to "feel" each other out Perfect example of the first phone call. It's done to suss each other out. To see if there's any mutual interest. When you talk to someone on the phone, you can tell a lot quicker if you want to meet them in person or not. Hearing the sound of someone's voice reveals a LOT about their personality. It's a good "ice breaker" before the first date (if one is deemed a good idea by both people during the phone call). I once called a guy who spoke in very clipped sentences. Immediately I felt like he'd be a bad match for me, b/c of the way he'd interrupt me and speak so fast I had to ask him to repeat himself. He was all about himself during our initial first phone call, so we never had a first date in person. Whereas, another guy I called and I had great phone chemistry and went on a first date. But when we met in person, he wouldn't utter a peep so that was that. Phone calls are necessary screeners. Always do the phone call before the first date. 1
alphamale Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 Always do the phone call before the first date. totally agree 1
Author max3732 Posted September 15, 2019 Author Posted September 15, 2019 you talk with her and find commonalities20-30 minutes maxanything besides politics or religion, your experience with OLD is a good subject to talk aboutyes, that and to "feel" each other out Just got off the phone with her. It seemed to me like it went pretty well, but obviously will have to see if she accepts a date. What was funny is she talked about how tough it dating where she live and we shared some horror stories. Also the typical background info and some common interests. There was one lull in the conversation, but we got it back on track and I ended it after about 20 minutes. She seemed very nice and like we had a lot it common. The only potential red flag is she said she doesn't get along well with some of her siblings and one of her parents.
Watercolors Posted September 15, 2019 Posted September 15, 2019 Good that you went through with the phone call. Just curious as to why you didn't use it as a way to ask her out. I mean, what stopped you from asking her out as a way to end the phone call? "Thanks for the great chat. Are you free for [] on []?" 1
Author max3732 Posted September 15, 2019 Author Posted September 15, 2019 Good that you went through with the phone call. Just curious as to why you didn't use it as a way to ask her out. I mean, what stopped you from asking her out as a way to end the phone call? "Thanks for the great chat. Are you free for [] on []?" We had talked about going out already through text and were trying to figure out a time. So asking on the phone would have been redundant. 1
Watercolors Posted September 15, 2019 Posted September 15, 2019 Wow, how times have changed! Redundant?! What is this, a business transaction?! You could have used the phone call as an opportunity to reiterate your interest, "I'm really looking forward to our next date at []." That wouldn't have been redundant. That would have been a compliment to her and sharing your excitement would have made her feel good about seeing you again. I guess it's true. The younger generation doesn't use the phone like my Gen. X did with dating. You're right then. OLD is a business transaction.
Author max3732 Posted September 15, 2019 Author Posted September 15, 2019 Wow, how times have changed! Redundant?! What is this, a business transaction?! You could have used the phone call as an opportunity to reiterate your interest, "I'm really looking forward to our next date at []." That wouldn't have been redundant. That would have been a compliment to her and sharing your excitement would have made her feel good about seeing you again. I guess it's true. The younger generation doesn't use the phone like my Gen. X did with dating. You're right then. OLD is a business transaction. Guess I'm not used to talking to women on the phone and am afraid of coming across as too eager. I did say I enjoyed talking to her and was looking forward to seeing her in person. This morning I got a text from her saying she's always wanted to try this restaurant and was hoping someone would invite her there. Even I was able to pick on on the not so subtle hint and I'm taking her there this week. 1
smackie9 Posted September 15, 2019 Posted September 15, 2019 Well at least you got a glimpse, and know about the red flag going in. Best of luck.
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