If he was interested would he do this?

[dalialba]

My guess is the doc told the rep he'd be getting something at the cafeteria, and the rep bought 3 salads for the 3 employees. The rep doesn't know your tastes, and the doc didn't come forward with: oh no, (insert your name) doesn't like salad. He let the rep do the gesture. Apparently, one salad was intact, so that's your further proof.

 

Then he was returning to the office with two coffees for the two employees who were there... and maybe asked for it or had agreed on that, since he was going there.

 

You left before you could see any of that happening, and even if that never happened and it was just his idea, you were not in the office anyway.

 

Does he like you? Based on the elements you provided, we have no reason to think so. He might be nervous around you because maybe he could feel you're into him, and he might not want any involvement with the employees. Whatever the reason, we don't know enough to say something about it.

 

 

I haven't given him reason to think i like him, i've only acted professionally, never flirted or anything but with him the way he interacts with me is different than others, he's more soft and my coworker also noticed that he's a gentlamn holds doors for me when he doesn't with anyone else. And someone else in the office likes him and she has been very open about it with her and he doesn't act nervous around her. But again i haven't shown any interest for him to think i am interested. And i just get that vibe from him before before this he was doing anything i said like don't drink energy drinks, started working out because i do(and called his friend round and he heard), tried share same take with me on things, etc. and read below please

[dalialba]

I agree with justwhoiam, that the sales rep brought lunches for all the employees. This had literally nothing to do with you or your boss -- the doctor -- and for you to attribute some sort of meaning to it, is because you are the one who likes the doctor. To answer your question: no the doctor's actions of accepting the sales reps salads and coffees (which is what every sales rep does for his/her clients: brings them foods, gifts, etc. as a 'thank you for being my client') are not an indication that he has any romantic interest in you whatsoever.

 

what? the rep didn't bring coffee and i think you did't get any of it at all. The doctor is the one who went and brought coffee and I"m just an employee why don't I get a cofffee? So what is i was not in office during lunch? I was going to come back after lunch

[dalialba]

I agree with justwhoiam, that the sales rep brought lunches for all the employees. This had literally nothing to do with you or your boss -- the doctor -- and for you to attribute some sort of meaning to it, is because you are the one who likes the doctor. To answer your question: no the doctor's actions of accepting the sales reps salads and coffees (which is what every sales rep does for his/her clients: brings them foods, gifts, etc. as a 'thank you for being my client') are not an indication that he has any romantic interest in you whatsoever.

 

Here--> this should clear up his passive aggressive behavior and why i'm asking this q's

 

you don't know half the story. A situation happened before where i didn't like th efood he ordered so i told him i didn't want it and wasn't gonna get anything and left during lunch, when the food came he was upset and remarked why are there only 3 orders to my coworker. She said well she dind't want it that's why and had to step out and he said "why is she so picky" So after lunch when i came back to the office he passed by and said "the food was soooo good and healthy right guys" so passive aggressive. I didn't respond, because it was so childish, id ind't like it i dind't eat it no need to make such comments. Then a month later, i said a rep was asking what alcoholic drink he wanted he said what do you want? i said well i don't drink anything but muscato wine, but i'm not the doctor he's asking what you want. Then he said "well i don't really drink and when i do these lunches i do it for you guys, to feed you guys because i want you to eat" I said well we do and he said "well do you remember that one time" (i was shocked he brought it up).I laughed and said well that was a different situation(bc he didn't order from the place i wanted even though he asked what i wanted).I also said yes my ex bf didn't eat when people brough them lunches either, and he's also a doctor. So idk if now he's doing this in spite. If he wanted me to eat then you order a salad?? and if i'm just a employee you get coffee for all employees? BUT me? why all this tension

[dalialba]

Um, I think you're the one that's butthurt. Don't think that doctor is interested in you.

 

what makes you think he ISN"T interested in me. I'm just another employee and if he was bringing coffee for all couldn't he have brought it for me too? I am an employee too and if you read below you will see that he was butt hurt before and the entire day he down and my coworker also said he's weird since now he seemed sad.

[Calmandfocused]

Honest opinion coming op. I’m saying this to help you:

 

Have you got your mental health checked out recently? If not, I’d advise that you do. I’m finding your obsessional and over detailed descriptions of an event involving a salad quite concerning. You’ve obviously analysed every little detail in your head, added 2+2 and came up with 54.

 

Op these are not the behaviours of someone who is attracted to someone. These are the behaviours of someone who is disturbed by someone. I think he’s very uncomfortable around you and has good reason to be by the sounds of it.

 

Hes not interested, I’m sorry.

Edited September 14, 2019 by Calmandfocused

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

the rep didn't bring coffee and i think you did't get any of it at all.

 

That's because you have a very confusing way of telling this story.

 

Are you more mad about the salad or the coffee? He probably didn't get you coffee because you weren't in the office the ask if you wanted any.

 

On another note, do reps normally supply alcoholic beverages to doctor's office employees during the course of a work day??

[dalialba]

That's because you have a very confusing way of telling this story.

 

Are you more mad about the salad or the coffee? He probably didn't get you coffee because you weren't in the office the ask if you wanted any.

 

On another note, do reps normally supply alcoholic beverages to doctor's office employees during the course of a work day??

 

upset about that he before said he wanted me to eat and didn't like it when i didn't eat before as I posted above. Then he ordered a salad when a day before I said i didn't find salads filling. Idk if they do or don't

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Are you overweight? Does he think you need to eat more salads?

[dalialba]

Honest opinion coming op. I’m saying this to help you:

 

Have you got your mental health checked out recently? If not, I’d advise that you do. I’m finding your obsessional and over detailed descriptions of an event involving a salad quite concerning. You’ve obviously analysed every little detail in your head, added 2+2 and came up with 54.

 

Op these are not the behaviours of someone who is attracted to someone. These are the behaviours of someone who is disturbed by someone. I think he’s very uncomfortable around you and has good reason to be by the sounds of it.

 

Hes not interested, I’m sorry.

 

Look i haven't overanalyzed anything i'm just saying what it is. This guy analyzed me not eating before and made a big deal, held on to it and repeated it a month later saying he ordered these lunches for us and wanted us to eat and i said yes and we do and he said well no remember that one time. Don't you find THAT disturbing? and the coffee, I AM AN EMPLOYEE there too! he could've easily brought the coffee but seeing as how he holds onto things is why i'm attributing it to what happened.

[justicegrl]

Look, your primary question here was would a man behave the way he did if he were interested.

 

And we have all essentially confirmed that no, he would not.

 

Ergo, he is not interested.

 

Exactly. OP why are you arguing with us? You created a thread asking if he's interested, we say no and you argue saying we are wrong and why.

 

Since you are so convinced he IS interested, then why did you start this thread asking?

 

Frankly I think you are projecting, since YOU are interested in him, everything he does you interpret as meaning HE is interested in you. That is what projecting is, it's quite common.

 

Look I know it stings to hear he's not into you, but I'm sorry he's not, unless you haven't shared the whole story.

 

But from what you have shared, no he is not.

[dalialba]

Honest opinion coming op. I’m saying this to help you:

 

Have you got your mental health checked out recently? If not, I’d advise that you do. I’m finding your obsessional and over detailed descriptions of an event involving a salad quite concerning. You’ve obviously analysed every little detail in your head, added 2+2 and came up with 54.

 

Op these are not the behaviours of someone who is attracted to someone. These are the behaviours of someone who is disturbed by someone. I think he’s very uncomfortable around you and has good reason to be by the sounds of it.

 

Hes not interested, I’m sorry.

 

Look i haven't overanalyzed anything i'm just saying what it is. This guy analyzed me not eating before and made a big deal, held on to it and repeated it a month later saying he ordered these lunches for us and wanted us to eat (passive aggressively said the lunch i didn't eat was sooo good and healthy, what was the need for that)and i said yes and we do and he said well no remember that one time. Don't you find THAT disturbing? and the coffee, I AM AN EMPLOYEE there too! he could've easily brought the coffee but seeing as how he holds onto things is why i'm attributing it to what happened.

[dalialba]

Exactly. OP why are you arguing with us? You created a thread asking if he's interested, we say no and you argue saying we are wrong and why.

 

Since you are so convinced he IS interested, then why did you start this thread asking?

 

Frankly I think you are projecting, since YOU are interested in him, everything he does you interpret as meaning HE is interested in you. That is what projecting is, it's quite common.

 

Look I know it stings to hear he's not into you, but I'm sorry he's not, unless you haven't shared the whole story.

 

But from what you have shared, no he is not.

 

the whole story is above, giving context to what was said. If I don't matter so much he held onto me not eating before and brought it up to me again.

[dalialba]

Are you overweight? Does he think you need to eat more salads?

 

 

wow what on earth?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Did you go out to lunch because he got the salads or were you already planning on going out to lunch when you found out about the salads?

[justicegrl]

Honest opinion coming op. I’m saying this to help you:

 

Have you got your mental health checked out recently? If not, I’d advise that you do. I’m finding your obsessional and over detailed descriptions of an event involving a salad quite concerning. You’ve obviously analysed every little detail in your head, added 2+2 and came up with 54.

 

Op these are not the behaviours of someone who is attracted to someone. These are the behaviours of someone who is disturbed by someone. I think he’s very uncomfortable around you and has good reason to be by the sounds of it.

 

Hes not interested, I’m sorry.

 

I echo this^. Good luck OP.

[dalialba]

Did you go out to lunch because he got the salads or were you already planning on going out to lunch when you found out about the salads?

 

after i found out.

[dalialba]

Did you go out to lunch because he got the salads or were you already planning on going out to lunch when you found out about the salads?

 

i was planning on eating because he had told us a day before the rep was bringing us food.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

after i found out.

 

OK, so he was going to order lunch for you three, and despite knowing you don't like salads, that's what he decided on. You looked that gift horse in the mouth and decided you didn't want it, went out to get your own lunch, and then came back to the office and got mad he didn't get you coffee. Is this correct?

 

Maybe he was feeling like you were ungrateful about the free lunch so he decided you didn't deserve coffee.

[dalialba]

OK, so he was going to order lunch for you three, and despite knowing you don't like salads, that's what he decided on. You looked that gift horse in the mouth and decided you didn't want it, went out to get your own lunch, and then came back to the office and got mad he didn't get you coffee. Is this correct?

 

Maybe he was feeling like you were ungrateful about the free lunch so he decided you didn't deserve coffee.

 

So taking what he said before and how it mattered to him that i eat( week ago) then yesterday i also expressed that i didn't find salads filling and when usually we are asked what orders we want we got the order and it was only salads and 3 at that. I was very confused. First it mattered to him that I eat and was offended and held on to it and brought it up again the one time i didn't eat and yesterday he did that. Yes definitely not bringing coffee was passive aggressive because it's not always he brings the coffees and they are canned coffees so yes if he wasn't upset could've brought and put in fridge. But idk what stemmed from him ordering something that i didn't like after that conversation.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

But idk what stemmed from him ordering something that i didn't like after that conversation.

 

Well, I guess he either doesn't care that much what you think/what you like, or he wasn't listening as closely as you assumed and didn't realize you really hate salad. I'm curious, did you tell him what you did want to eat?

[dalialba]

OK, so he was going to order lunch for you three, and despite knowing you don't like salads, that's what he decided on. You looked that gift horse in the mouth and decided you didn't want it, went out to get your own lunch, and then came back to the office and got mad he didn't get you coffee. Is this correct?

 

Maybe he was feeling like you were ungrateful about the free lunch so he decided you didn't deserve coffee.

 

you don't think i was wrong in not eating yes? especially since i had previously expressed i didn't find salads satisfying.

[dalialba]

Well, I guess he either doesn't care that much what you think/what you like, or he wasn't listening as closely as you assumed and didn't realize you really hate salad. I'm curious, did you tell him what you did want to eat?

 

he pays attention to everything to I say as you saw before and mentions them later. Even one time a patient brough thim food i said "dont eat it you don't how she made it etc". Then later he said I ate it but after what you said i got weirded out, so he pays a lot of attention to every small thing and i guess that's what makes it difficult. And if he didn't care then why hold to that "one" time i didn't eat and bring it up again and tell me it's because you want me to eat. You knwo what i'm saying? he's paying too much extra attention and that i thought he did this in spite.

[mortensorchid]

Sorry, but I reread that a few times and saw no interest on his part in you. Nor am I sure why you think this or why you were offended by what he said. I think I would just move on.

[dalialba]

Sorry, but I reread that a few times and saw no interest on his part in you. Nor am I sure why you think this or why you were offended by what he said. I think I would just move on.

 

based on how he reacts with me and i've posted below with context.

[dalialba]

Sorry, but I reread that a few times and saw no interest on his part in you. Nor am I sure why you think this or why you were offended by what he said. I think I would just move on.

 

Also, because he acts different with me than others. HE talks to other girls just fine, doesn't fidget, no deep breath, no signs of nervousness but with me yes and his tone softens he jokes and laughs more etc. I got the vibe but idk why he did this or if he's upset by something