twatwa123 Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 OK so I met someone from Bumble yesterday. She seems nice and we have things in common etc. I did notice that she didn't really get my sense of humour though. No thinking much of it at the time, we decided to meet for a second date. We've arranged bowling for tomorrow Right at the end, she was honest and revealed to me that she is autistic/Asperger (not a problem for me in itself but this is probably why she didn't get my sense of humour) The real alarm bells were when she told me she hears voices in her head and she's on medication to suppress this. My previous relationship, my girlfriend had mental issues that she choose to sweep under the carpet and they caused us to split up. I don't know if I want someone with such serious problems again. I also ignored red flags/alarm bells and has taught me to not do that again. So I want to not date her again, but I don't have much dating experience, and I'm not sure how to let her down gently. I wouldn't say no to friendship. The 2nd date is arranged for tomorrow and I'd hate to let someone down.
Pepsi38 Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Just send a short text saying it was nice meeting her but you don't think you're a match and good luck. I'd say that's more than acceptable after one date. 3
Author twatwa123 Posted September 13, 2019 Author Posted September 13, 2019 I agree, but we've already arranged the second date lol
nothingsintheflowerz Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Just cancel it. Pretty sure she wouldn't want to continue meeting someone who would judge her health issues anyway. 1
Gretchen12 Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Just tell her ASAP. Tell her that you think it's best to not meet again because you don't think it will work out. 1
stillafool Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 I agree. Cancel the second date since you know you don't want to be with her. I can't blame you for the way you feel especially after your last experience with a person with mental problems. Just be kind and tell her as soon as possible. 1
Rayce Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Just send a short text saying it was nice meeting her but you don't think you're a match and good luck. I'd say that's more than acceptable after one date. This is perfect and honest...
smackie9 Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Just to let you know Auditory Hallucinations isn't always linked to mental illness. Normal healthy people can have it too. So it's quite possible she's not cray cray at all, just has trouble with understanding social cues. 1
kendahke Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Just cancel the date and tell her that upon second thought, you don't want to get into a serious relationship with anyone right now. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 The 2nd date is arranged for tomorrow and I'd hate to let someone down. You should have declined the 2nd date but since you didn't, you can either weasel out of it or you can go & then say you are just not feeling it. Rely on the clichés. Do not mention her revelations. Just say you are not interested. Be vague but firm.
Cersei Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Just cancel the date and tell her that upon second thought, you don't want to get into a serious relationship with anyone right now. No don't say this. If she finds out you are with someone else it will hurt her worse. Just as stated above be vague. "I would like to cancel. I don't think we are a good match. Best of luck finding someone special." 1
oldtruck Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Being you agreed to go bowling I say go. Though decline a third date.
Mrin Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Just send a short text saying it was nice meeting her but you don't think you're a match and good luck. I'd say that's more than acceptable after one date. This. No need to about not looking for a relationship right now
I'veseenbetterlol Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 Tell her straight up "this isn't working out". Don't feel bad about rejecting her. We aren't obligated to like everyone we go on a date w/. The mental problems are a red flag, you don't know the extent of her mental issues. 1
Whodatdog Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 I dont think you need to give any excuse. Id just text her and tell you that you're sorry, but you cant make your date. It was nice meeting her, and maybe you'll run into each other sometime. Its too bad you made that second date, but you can bow out gracefully and apologize.
The Outlaw Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 Cancel and tell her that while you had a wonderful time, you just really don't see it as going anywhere, wish her well and leave it at that. But I really don't think there is too much of an easy way to let anyone down, but that's the best I've got.
Watercolors Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 As most everyone has advised you: cancel the date with this reason, like Mrin said, "It was nice to meet you but we're not a good match. Good luck." That's like, the standard OLD text or email for post-date rejection. No one's feelings get hurt and the date gets canceled without any drama.
winny Posted September 15, 2019 Posted September 15, 2019 she should have told you this before meeting itself. so dont feel so bad about canceling now.
preraph Posted September 15, 2019 Posted September 15, 2019 I agree, but we've already arranged the second date lol No, cancel it. Just do as she said and tell her after sleeping on it, you realized you're not right for each other.
Recommended Posts