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Modern dates

justwhoiam

By justwhoiam
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Kitty Tantrum Established Member

Kitty Tantrum

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Sleeping with someone to find out if they're crazy or not? :eek:

 

:lmao:

 

Kids these days...

 

My input on this topic is that most guys will still pick you up when you make a point of not having your own car. :cool:

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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Of course, but not first meetings off the internet, too risky for women.

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Cersei Established Member

Cersei

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First meeting definitely not! He ain't knowing where I live.

 

I have started seeing a new guy (4 dates so far) and now he picks me up and it feels nice. I feel like a special lady for some weird reason. Plus I can have a drink or 2 if I want without needing to drive my own car. Lol

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Rayce Established Member

Rayce

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It's the only kind of dating I've ever done. If meeting from a dating site, I always drive myself to the first date/meet. From there, he plans the dates, picks me up, and does all the driving. Huge turn on :)

 

This is the route I go... if we meet online then I won't even give out my phone number until the 1st date.... but after that if we click and date more I rather him come pick me up and do the whole traditional type date.

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MindYourBusiness Established Member

MindYourBusiness

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I think I wouldn’t want to be picked up. I wanna make sure first that the guy is not a creep so that he doesn’t have my address right away just in case. Especially with online dating..

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Rayce Established Member

Rayce

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TBH I haven't had a 2nd date in years so it hasn't been an issue.... but I agree I would have to feel comfortable 1st.

SumGuy Established Member

SumGuy

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Sleeping with someone to find out if they're crazy or not? :eek:

 

:lmao:

 

Kids these days...

 

.... :cool:

Not recommending that as a way to discern if someone is nuts, but if you happen to sleep together, she must have thought you were safe enough for that, and you can learn a lot about a person that way.

 

 

For me this is all hypothetical as when I have slept with someone it has been at her place or mine; so that level of "trust" to get picked up is there.

Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

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Even women you had never met before, like with online dating? Or you don't do much of that, if at all? What's your age range?

 

I don't do on-line dating. I've met the women I've dated "in real life".

 

I'm 54 (never married) and dated many women. My general rule for age range is +/- ten years (after I turned 35), prior to that I dated women around my age.

 

I enjoy planning/paying for the date and picking them up. I've never had an issues or problems. If a woman ever wanted to end the date early, I would have taken her home, no problem.

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Mrin Established Member

Mrin

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40 something dude here. When I was dating I would always meet the lady at the location for the first date. Then offer to pick her up for any subsequent dates. Usually they would say yes on date #2 or #3. Once they said Yes and we're comfortable with me picking them up I stopped asking per se and just told them. Not in a bossy way but rather in a way that they know they weren't having to feel like they were inconveniencing me by saying yes to being picked up. If that makes sense.

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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

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My input on this topic is that most guys will still pick you up when you make a point of not having your own car.
While this is true (at least for me), it's quite likely to put the woman in the short-term only category. After being the unpaid chauffeur for several women in the past, I have a "never again" policy regarding that. If she doesn't have a car and mostly gets around by herself, I might make an exception.
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CollinW Established Member

CollinW

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Are you past your 20s?

 

If two people have to meet half way at some place, after the first date, I think that's not very romantic. Now I see how many dates end up just being hookups.

Are you younger than 60?

 

I think the idea of men going out of their way to make women's lives easier is an outdated ideology of romance. I can understand it after you get to know each other and your plans extend longer than a few hours and multiple places, often leading back to one person's place. Or if the locations are convenient. But the idea of strangers knowing where I live before knowing their middle names doesn't come across to me as romantic at all.

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justwhoiam Established Member

justwhoiam

Posted
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I'm in my 50s by the way.
I'm younger but not much younger :-)

 

I tend to believe younger people minimize the risk of the crazies in this world.
I think this is one of the contraddictions of your country. Anyone can break into your house from a window... so easily! No protection whatsoever. I don't understand that. But then they need three dates before being comfortable with a guy. If she's not comfortable with the guy, she shouldn't meet him half way, she should just stop seeing him after date #1! That's my view.

Maybe people shouldn't arrange dates from online right away. What about meeting up in a café or a store or a mall while you bring along a trusted friend, I wouldn't call it a real date. If everything goes well, you see the person and you feel you can trust him, then you arrange a real date.

Just saying...

 

Yes the odds are low that the guy is a psycho
I don't know about that. There are lots of people on meds and in therapy in the USA... And lots of offenders in pretty any neighborhood. But a serial killer would make you disappear even if you met him in a public place. Girls get abducted in parking lots, etc.

 

Sleeping with someone to find out if they're crazy or not? :eek:

 

:lmao:

 

Kids these days...

I so agree with you Kitty. It's facepalm for me :-D

 

My input on this topic is that most guys will still pick you up when you make a point of not having your own car. :cool:
Yeah, good point. But I do have a car. And I wouldn't lie to get a ride. I guess I wouldn't accept date requests, as stupid as it may sound.

 

While this is true (at least for me), it's quite likely to put the woman in the short-term only category.
I guess you should be clear about it right away, and she might rule you out (but it's just fair, it's a matter of uncompatibility).

 

After being the unpaid chauffeur for several women in the past, I have a "never again" policy regarding that.
Sorry to hear that. My man overheard once at work that a young coworker was going on dates just to get free meals. That sounds a bit extreme to me. There are opportunists around, just like there might be men around saying they're looking for a relationship when all they want is to get laid (sorry if that's crass). I guess we can use our instinct and watch out a bit.

 

Are you younger than 60?
Yes.

 

I think the idea of men going out of their way to make women's lives easier is an outdated ideology of romance.
It's just called chivalry, and in my country (the country of love), it's not dead. We don't have your culture of equality, where men and women are the same. We love being different and we embrace our differences.

 

the idea of strangers knowing where I live before knowing their middle names doesn't come across to me as romantic at all.
That's exactly what I'm questioning. Meeting up complete strangers. People don't have time for anything anymore. Everything needs to be quick and to the point.

 

Although the impression is that you get more opportunities romantically with OLD, in reality you've just entered the fast food chain. The grab'n'go shop.

It could be pleasant for some just willing to get a taste of every flavor, but sort of ruins it for everyone else.

 

 

Thanks to all the posters who answered :-)

Kitty Tantrum Established Member

Kitty Tantrum

Posted
Posted
While this is true (at least for me), it's quite likely to put the woman in the short-term only category. After being the unpaid chauffeur for several women in the past, I have a "never again" policy regarding that. If she doesn't have a car and mostly gets around by herself, I might make an exception.

 

I don't need a chauffer. I walk everywhere because cars take all of the weight out of my bank account and transfer it to my hips. But if a guy wants to go somewhere outside of my walking radius with me, he can drive. If that's not progressive enough for him, he goes in the "nope" category.

 

I've literally NEVER had the issue of guys putting me in the short term category. In fact, one of the things I hated about my brief stint in the swinging scene with my exes was that it was firmly established out the gate that it was strictly short term/casual and they STILL all wanted to keep me. :p

Gretchen12 Established Member

Gretchen12

Posted
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I've been on 4 first dates from OLD. One of these guys actually turned out to work in the same field so I knew exactly who he was. The other three were strangers and I met them at the cafe.

 

Mostly I do not date complete strangers. I meet them through acquaintances. Not set up but just met them at someone's house for example. I have no problem being picked up in these cases. If for some reason I was afraid to give a man my address, I just wouldn't go out with him at all.

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