justwhoiam Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 Do dates where the guy picks her up happen any more at all in the U.S.? Just curious. I haven't read about any of that happening on here. Are they still a thing? Or just a thing of the past?!
Ruby Slippers Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 It's the only kind of dating I've ever done. If meeting from a dating site, I always drive myself to the first date/meet. From there, he plans the dates, picks me up, and does all the driving. Huge turn on 1
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 I haven't dated in more then a decade but I would think they rarely happen the early stages any more. Especially if the people are meeting off OLD it's a safety issue; you don't really want to bring a stranger to your house. Plus there is the whole going to somebody's house early on is (mis?)interpreted as a request for sex so people hang back. In later dates . . maybe a month in I would think if you want somebody to pick you up or you want to pick them up speak up & make that desire known. 2
The Outlaw Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 It's still very much a thing. I did it. 1
mortensorchid Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 Since most people are OLDing these days, it's common for someone to meet the other in a public place first so they take separate transportation to get there. If you actually build a relationship with that person beyond a one time encounter, it's okay to pick the person up at their house / apartment. So in general, people aren't picking one another up very often. 1
SumGuy Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 Yes very much a thing, and I'm happy to pick her up and enjoy doing so. However, I will never offer it before we have slept together and even then only a couple of dates later. I will gladly do it though at any time if she suggests. The reason is it is a big trust issue for a woman to tell a guy where she lives or rely on him for a ride home. 1
PRW Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 Do dates where the guy picks her up happen any more at all in the U.S.?Unless you refuse to give me you location,...that is what I'm planning to do. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 I had no idea people were so concerned about a man picking them up/dropping them off. It's never been an issue for me. I've never had to explain that they're not coming inside my house until I'm ready. They seem to get that. No one has ever pushed or been weird about it, just picked me up and dropped me off for dates until I invite them in. 1
TaintedLuv Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 I think it also depends on geography. I’m in a city. I walk places. Generally I meet the guy somewhere until I get to know him better and then expect him to pick me up or vice versa if we’re going somewhere that requires driving OR they meet me outside of my place and we uber together. 1
Gaeta Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 If he's a stranger from the Internet or a stranger I met at our local park then NO, they won't be picking me up at my place. My safety comes before chivalry. He can pick me up for our 3rd date. On a first date if he wants to be a gentleman he can pull my chair, hold the door and pay the bill.
lurker74 Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 I do it all the time after the first date. Not on a first date though because of security concerns; women should not get in a strange man's car. 1
Happy Lemming Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 Yes... pretty much every time I've had a first date, I picked the woman up. I've planned the date, picked the woman up and had a good time. I've never really had any first dates go horrible for me. I mean there are the first dates where you know you aren't compatible, but I still finish the date and drop the woman off at the end of the evening. 1
CollinW Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 The idea of picking a woman up from her house seems outdated and creepy to me. It probably depends a lot on location also as it's probably more common in rural and suburban areas.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted September 13, 2019 Posted September 13, 2019 I haven't dated in more then a decade but I would think they rarely happen the early stages any more. Especially if the people are meeting off OLD it's a safety issue; you don't really want to bring a stranger to your house. Plus there is the whole going to somebody's house early on is (mis?)interpreted as a request for sex so people hang back. In later dates . . maybe a month in I would think if you want somebody to pick you up or you want to pick them up speak up & make that desire known. I did OLD. I never let the guy pick me up/drive me home the 1st couple of dates. I always had a way to get home in an emergency. No its not a turn on, that's a safety issue.
Author justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 It's the only kind of dating I've ever done. Same for me...
Author justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 I haven't dated in more then a decade but I would think they rarely happen the early stages any more. Especially if the people are meeting off OLD it's a safety issue That's exactly what I was thinking.
Author justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 It's still very much a thing. I did it. Oh really? What age range? Recently?
Author justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 Yes very much a thing, and I'm happy to pick her up and enjoy doing so. I'm so oldfashioned :-) However, I will never offer it before we have slept together and even then only a couple of dates later. Ouch! Are you in your 20s? What if she's not the easy one? Not worth pursuing? I guess she'd deserve better treatment, not worse? I will gladly do it though at any time if she suggests. Luckily, I've never had to ask in my life... and hopefully never will. The reason is it is a big trust issue for a woman to tell a guy where she lives or rely on him for a ride home. I understand that. But suppose you meet this woman at a friends' party? Or she's already known to someone you know (colleague, friend, relative...)?
Author justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 Unless you refuse to give me you location,...that is what I'm planning to do. Glad to hear that there are men still up to doing it the old way :-) What's your age range?
Author justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 I think it also depends on geography. I’m in a city. I walk places. Well, if the date is a coffee in the afternoon or during lunch time, and I've read this is a thing for a first (blind) date (like for most OLD where you don't really know who you're gonna meet), then I guess... But I'm oldfashioned, and I guess dates for me are at night, when it's dark, and I wouldn't feel really comfortable walking alone anywhere, even in a big city. And if the alternative is an Uber, then I feel his car will always be better. My feeling here is that most people go out with people they would never be interested in (based on: why not?), so I can understand the awkwardness.
Author justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 Yes... pretty much every time I've had a first date, I picked the woman up. I've planned the date, picked the woman up and had a good time. I've never really had any first dates go horrible for me. I mean there are the first dates where you know you aren't compatible, but I still finish the date and drop the woman off at the end of the evening. Even women you had never met before, like with online dating? Or you don't do much of that, if at all? What's your age range?
SumGuy Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 I'm so oldfashioned :-) Ouch! Are you in your 20s? What if she's not the easy one? Not worth pursuing? I guess she'd deserve better treatment, not worse? Luckily, I've never had to ask in my life... and hopefully never will. I understand that. But suppose you meet this woman at a friends' party? Or she's already known to someone you know (colleague, friend, relative...)? I don't ask until we are at a stage that I believe she would trust me not to be a psycho. I'm not going to put a woman in a position to have to tell me no in such a situation. If I was her, I would not feel comfortable having a guy show up to where I live until I felt I knew him well and would never get into a car with a man I did not know. So yes it is about better treatment, treating what may be her justifiable concerns around a man she may not really know with respect. On your last question, if you understood my reasoning then you know that yes I'd offer to pick up someone that I met at a friends party if we shared friends or someone who already knew me because she would be able to know I'm not some potentially dangerous person. I'm not a stranger in those cases. I'm in my 50s by the way. I tend to believe younger people minimize the risk of the crazies in this world. Yes the odds are low that the guy is a psycho, but such people depend on people thinking just because their friend or they have never had an issue (in there "vast" experience of life of 20 some years) that they will never have a problem. Dangerous people exploit your trust. In my view you can play the odds and not take any sensible precautions or you can take some sensible precautions and make the odds much, much more in your favor.
Author justwhoiam Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 The idea of picking a woman up from her house seems outdated and creepy to me. Are you past your 20s? It probably depends a lot on location also as it's probably more common in rural and suburban areas. I live in a city. Where I live, people can even drive 40 miles or more to go to a club. Or drive to the lake to stroll on the promenade and have ice-cream, or do anything else... but you need a car to get places at night. If two people have to meet half way at some place, after the first date, I think that's not very romantic. Now I see how many dates end up just being hookups.
SumGuy Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 Couldn't add above.. The sleeping together is just one way you can get an idea on if a guy is nuts, not fool proof hence just sleeping together shouldn't be enough to trust a guy... you should look at more as just because we slept together doesn't mean I will assume she trusts me. So picking a woman up has nothing to do with I she will sleep with me or not. It has to do with if I was in her shoes would I feel I know enough to trust this guy with info where I live and to get in a car alone with him.
SumGuy Posted September 14, 2019 Posted September 14, 2019 .... If two people have to meet half way at some place, after the first date, I think that's not very romantic. Now I see how many dates end up just being hookups. I kind of find that romantic as both are sharing the "sacrifice." I always propose meeting some place near her town though, so she has the home turf advantage and I think that is just good manners to take on the longer drive. That is, if I am interested in you driving to your town to meet is not a problem. I've never had it turn into a hook-up when we meet half way, now when she asks if I can pick her up that has always turned into fooling around at her place.
Recommended Posts