Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 I have a connection with this guy and we haven't met yet because he lives out of state but we video call and text a lot everyday. Well today he texted me miss you while on a trip to Europe. I thought that was so sweet but how do I answer? I feel like it's too early for me to say that as we haven't had a date yet even.
normal person Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 I have a connection with this guy and we haven't met yet because he lives out of state but we video call and text a lot everyday. Well today he texted me miss you while on a trip to Europe. I thought that was so sweet but how do I answer? I feel like it's too early for me to say that as we haven't had a date yet even. Why not just tell him that?
Author Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 Why not just tell him that? Because I don't want to sound like a bitch. I like the guy. 1
scooby-philly Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 Because I don't want to sound like a bitch. I like the guy. A normal, healthy man would understand. If he doesn't understand, then he's not worth your time. People don't invite people they've never met irl on a trip like that unless they don't understand that's not really a healthy, emotionally sound idea. 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 A normal, healthy man would understand. If he doesn't understand, then he's not worth your time. People don't invite people they've never met irl on a trip like that unless they don't understand that's not really a healthy, emotionally sound idea. I don't think you understand my question. He texted me "miss you with a kiss" what do I reply to that since I never met the guy . I feel it's too early for me to say miss you too. Or am I being too guarded?
normal person Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 Because I don't want to sound like a bitch. I like the guy. I'm in the dark as to how saying, "that's sweet but it feels a little forward considering I haven't met you yet," makes you sound like that. It seems perfectly reasonable to me. If you think his advances or levels of affection are unwarranted, that's his problem, not yours. If you think he's too forward, tell him. If you don't want to tell him, live with it.
Author Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 I'm in the dark as to how saying, "that's sweet but it feels a little forward considering I haven't met you yet," makes you sound like that. It seems perfectly reasonable to me. If you think his advances or levels of affection are unwarranted, that's his problem, not yours. If you think he's too forward, tell him. If you don't want to tell him, live with it. Well if he feels like that , it's cool for him and I thi k its sweet. But I think I rather answer thats so sweet instead of saying how I cant say miss you as well
normal person Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 But I think I rather answer thats so sweet instead of saying how I cant say miss you as well So rather than address the issue while you have a perfect opportunity to nip in the bud and correct the behavior you don't like, you're just going to give an ambivalent, non-committal response and hope he stops?
Author Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 So rather than address the issue while you have a perfect opportunity to nip in the bud and correct the behavior you don't like, you're just going to give an ambivalent, non-committal response and hope he stops? That's not what I'm saying. I never said I dont like that he said I miss you. I'm asking on how to answer this kind of text. I feel it's too early from me to say I miss you. That's all.
scooby-philly Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 I don't think you understand my question. He texted me "miss you with a kiss" what do I reply to that since I never met the guy . I feel it's too early for me to say miss you too. Or am I being too guarded? Apologies - I misread your post. Yes - while it's sweet and kind of you to have that feeling of not wanting to hurt him - it's odd that he would tell you that when you've never met irl. I mean, if you had been talking online for years that would be one thing. But assuming (please let us know how long you've been talking to him) you've only been talking 1-3 months that would be weird. Would have been normal to say "Thinking about you". So, you can simply reply something like "it's nice to hear from you, I hope you're enjoying your trip", you can tell him that and then say "but I can't say I "miss you" till we establish a connection in real life" if you want to help him understand it, or you can simply ignore it. It's really up to you.
nothingsintheflowerz Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 I don't see the problem with just saying something along the lines of "That's sweet" and keeping it moving. I think a longer response will make it into a bigger deal than it needs to be...If he seems to get upset that you don't reciprocate with an "I miss you too" then obviously that's a red flag. 2
Author Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 Apologies - I misread your post. Yes - while it's sweet and kind of you to have that feeling of not wanting to hurt him - it's odd that he would tell you that when you've never met irl. I mean, if you had been talking online for years that would be one thing. But assuming (please let us know how long you've been talking to him) you've only been talking 1-3 months that would be weird. Would have been normal to say "Thinking about you". So, you can simply reply something like "it's nice to hear from you, I hope you're enjoying your trip", you can tell him that and then say "but I can't say I "miss you" till we establish a connection in real life" if you want to help him understand it, or you can simply ignore it. It's really up to you. It's ok ;-) We have been talking now for 2 months. He textes everyday twice a day sometimes, we have skyped before and talked on the phone. We do have a connection. He is a nice Man and very respectful and he is coming to visit me at the end of this month. He does text me thinking about you some times and this is the first time while on a trip that he said missing you as he is too busy for us to be texting. I did reply to him that it's very sweet of him and started on another topic, so yes I kind ignored that comment. I just want to wait for me to say I miss you too I would have to see him irl. I guess Men are different than Women and they dont think too much about the words miss you.
justwhoiam Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 how do I answer? These are the texts I'd send right now (it's 9-10 pm in most Europe now): (1) Hi, are you still up? :-) (2) Are you having fun? (3) If you miss me that much... we should meet up as soon as you're back :-D 1
scooby-philly Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 It's ok ;-) We have been talking now for 2 months. He textes everyday twice a day sometimes, we have skyped before and talked on the phone. We do have a connection. He is a nice Man and very respectful and he is coming to visit me at the end of this month. He does text me thinking about you some times and this is the first time while on a trip that he said missing you as he is too busy for us to be texting. I did reply to him that it's very sweet of him and started on another topic, so yes I kind ignored that comment. I just want to wait for me to say I miss you too I would have to see him irl. I guess Men are different than Women and they dont think too much about the words miss you. And that's totally fine and you're not a bitch for not saying it back. Since you replied already you can leave it at that. IF he brings it up at some point you know how to respond now. If you continue to talk to him and either it becomes a lasting friendship where you can be honest with him or a relationship develops, you can always "nicely" bring it up as a teaching moment - but first let him tell you why he said it. 2 months in, talking everyday - he may just be happy with you and is hoping it turns into something more - which is fine, though it's still a bit odd to say to someone you've never met irl before, but it's low on the socially awkward, emotionally stunted scale. You handled it well and now you can focus on actually continuing the convo and finally meeting him! 1
justwhoiam Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 Men [...] dont think too much about the words miss you. I agree... but they pay attention to what YOU write/say, especially if you're on their radar :-) 1
fred123 Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 how can you like someone or miss someone you havnt even met? i got slated for this!!
Author Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 how can you like someone or miss someone you havnt even met? i got slated for this!! You'd be surprised. Years ago when lovers wrote letters to each other NOT even knowing how they looked like but build an emotional connection and based on that actually missed each other.
Author Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 I forgot to add that he said" even though it might sound weird because we haven't met yet but I do miss you"
scooby-philly Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 I forgot to add that he said" even though it might sound weird because we haven't met yet but I do miss you" LMFAO - that changes things SO much. Sure, it could be unhealthy, but at least he recognizes it...lol. Just keep things going the way they are
Author Britney25 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 LMFAO - that changes things SO much. Sure, it could be unhealthy, but at least he recognizes it...lol. Just keep things going the way they are Yeah he recognizes it because hes not a creepo lol but he wanted to be honest with me. Theres nothing wrong with that. 1
scooby-philly Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 Yeah he recognizes it because hes not a creepo lol but he wanted to be honest with me. Theres nothing wrong with that. Exactly!! It is possible to develop feelings for someone you've only talked to, texted, and video chatted with - the question is now what does he do/say!
Versacehottie Posted September 12, 2019 Posted September 12, 2019 I don't think you understand my question. He texted me "miss you with a kiss" what do I reply to that since I never met the guy . I feel it's too early for me to say miss you too. Or am I being too guarded? I think you are feeling too much pressure (internally generated) to reciprocate with the same or similar and feel bad about not wanting to do it or a need to "be honest" or awkward. What about focus on what will give him a similar feeling and is truthful? Like "I can't wait to meet you"; focus on the future stuff or what you can say that is positive in response to someone "missing you". You can reassure with what you already like about the guy or what you look forward to with him. It's the best approach IMO. Good luck 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 12, 2019 Author Posted September 12, 2019 I think you are feeling too much pressure (internally generated) to reciprocate with the same or similar and feel bad about not wanting to do it or a need to "be honest" or awkward. What about focus on what will give him a similar feeling and is truthful? Like "I can't wait to meet you"; focus on the future stuff or what you can say that is positive in response to someone "missing you". You can reassure with what you already like about the guy or what you look forward to with him. It's the best approach IMO. Good luck Omg why didn't I think of that! I cant wait to meet you!! Perfect!! Thanks!! 1
Author Britney25 Posted September 14, 2019 Author Posted September 14, 2019 He texted me again miss you... this time I just replied back with I cant wait to meet you. 1
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