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Posted

Hoping to get some advice, in a bit of a pickle. I won’t bore you with all the history. Bottom line engaged to her for 3 years, together for 6. Last year was full of trouble, and honestly was thinking the time was up anyways. She asked for space, and considering we lived together, that was difficult. At that time, there was no OM. Three weeks later, once night stand happened and I was out the door. First week or two, did the beg and plead, then went to NC for 30 days. OM continued in the picture. We began talking again, spending time together, weekends, trips, nights, sex, etc. I knew the OM was still in the picture to some extent (he lives 4 hours away). Three weeks ago, I said enough. Told her I loved her, but wasn’t interested in texting and hanging out when there is someone else around too. Told her she knew how to get a hold of me if she wanted the same things, otherwise please don’t. So, question is, that was three weeks ago and no contact whatsoever. When I moved out of the house, I took a fraction of “my things”. At this point, I want to get the rest (which is a lot of furniture and important items, the house is hers from before we met), however not sure if I should wait for more time with the NC. The original NC time was real tough, this time though I still struggle however have accepted it for the most part. Am I indifferent, not yet, but getting there. I just feel like I want to severe that final tie and never look back. I feel as though once there is no reason to contact her, I will finally be free from that mental block. There are other items that need to be addressed like vehicles and things that we are both named on. So, while I want to keep NC until I am 100% indifferent, I also wonder if wrapping up those loose ends will help push me that last step mentally. Question: Should I break NC to deal with the items or wait?

Posted

Can you get one of her friends or one of her relatives to meet you at the house while you get your things? That way you won't have to see her and break NC.

 

Sorry things haven't worked out. She sounds determined to move on so protect yourself.

Posted

NC does not start until you work out the practicalities of getting your stuff back. Business first. Then you deal with the emotions.

Posted

I agree that knowing you have to go back there, it's not really NC, so you need to arrange to get your stuff. Ask her to let you in when she goes to work. Tell her you'd rather she wasn't there and you'll only take what's yours, not to worry.

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