give me

[Stacyslosingit]

Hi guys.

 

I'm having a boyfriend problem. I started dating this guy about a year ago. He's 27, I'm 23.

 

First, let me try to explain why I love him. He's smart, really funny (he's soooo good at roasting me), cute, educated, he works for the Amazon, makes good money there with really good benefits and room for career development. He's got a great credit score, fully paid off his college debt, lives alone in a nice apartment in the city, lots of friends, hobbies, etc. Basically, he's marriage material. B U T he has one flaw that is driving me nuts.

 

He talks like a baby. At first, it was cute, now, it's annoying. I tried telling him how much it bothered me (politely) but he said that's how he shows affection in a very "take it or leave it manner".

 

I really like this guy but I feel like I'm losing attraction very quickly over this. I want to date "a man", not a baby.

 

Please help.

[Commongoal123]

1) Nobody will ever be the perfect partner. There will always be annoyances and dislikes to accept and take with the bad.

 

2) If this issue is a dealbreaker for you, then move on. If it isn't, then accept it.

[Redhead14]

I would not tolerate a man who summarily negates me when I tell him what my needs, likes and wants are. I'd tell him you'll "leave it".

 

All the things above that you listed about him are "superficial"/tangible characteristics of a man who is "marriage" material. There is more to it than that. How he treats you, whether he respects you, listens to you, comforts you, is interested in what you have to say, is concerned about how his behavior affects you, etc. are all things that need to be factored into "the package".

 

If he doesn't understand how that behavior is such a turn off for you and/or, worse, doesn't really care, this is going to be a bigger issue over time. Sit him down and be straight up with him one more time and ask him to please curb the baby talk because it's a turn off Period. If he's unwilling to at least try to control it, I'd consider ending the relationship. This is about the quality of your relationship into the future. This will wear you down to the point of being resentful. I know it may seem like such a small thing. But it's the pile up of small things that go unresolved over time that cause a lot of harm to a relationship. You aren't asking him to stop doing something that he enjoys -- like going out with friends, for instance. This is about the relationship between him and you and what's pleasing and not pleasing to you. If he's going to run roughshod over your needs and likes, that ain't gonna work.

Edited September 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote removed

[preraph]

First of all, don't reward that behavior or even acknowledge it. If he starts talking like a baby, get up and leave the room, especially if it's in the middle of sex. He's getting some reward from it or he wouldn't do it. Cut that off, and he'll have no choice but to cut the crap.

 

Or stick a pacifier in his mouth. Your choice.

[Highndry]

Nearly every attribute you listed of this man has to do with his job and status. I'm wondering how you'd like him if he lost that job. Something's not adding up.