Adjusting to dating heavier women as I age

[Gretchen12]

I gathered your post is specifically about dating and the physical changes as we age. In senior dating we have to adjust to more wrinkles and less hair. It's not just how much you weigh, it's how the fat is distributed, the shape, what sags, what bulges. It's ageing. Reality of life.

 

Easier if you married a hot babe 50 years ago, and you still love her then she's still cute to you, although she's really an old lady with dentures, wearing adult diaper.

[Highndry]

Older men tend to put on a "few" later in years too. On top of that, ED comes into play and balding . . . and superficiality toward women and a need for sports cars. Usually, it's not so much that the woman has put on a few pounds, it's that he want her to look so much better than he does so that the focus is taken off of him and his "flaws".

 

 

Uh-huh. You forgot a few things though - female pattern baldness, hot flashes and vaginal dryness rivaling the Sahara desert. Fair's fair, right?

[RecentChange]

I just googled her

 

I think that 'plastic' would be a better description than 'fuller'

 

Seriously, just about every part of that woman has been made by a surgeon, not mother nature.

 

Her husband brags about her butt implants.

 

Not exactly a realistic example for women - it is a glaring example however of unrealistic ideals and the crazy extremes, including tons of surgery that some women will go through in order to make men happy.

 

I can't imagine a body like that, with all sorts of foreign objects placed under muscle and skin is very comfortable to live in.

 

I am so glad my husband loves my body despite not being anything like Jessica Rabbit.

[preraph]

I just googled her

 

I think that 'plastic' would be a better description than 'fuller'

 

The only thing fuller about that woman is her fake boobs!

[spiderowl]

Just don't bother dating women your age if you cannot accept them as they are, OP. Starting any relationship with the idea that you are going to have to 'encourage' your partner to lose weight, is a really miserable way to start anything. She would be horrified if she knew.

 

Some men like 'cuddly' women, so why not leave these women to someone who will love them?

[HiCrunchy]

Huh? I don't know if that's sarcasm but I'm 5'3" and 110 lbs. I'm slim & curvy but not anorexic in any way, shape or form. I visit my doc twice a year and I've always been in great shape and healthy.

 

Yeah I'm 5"1 at 108 and I'm trying to get down 10 pounds.

All the post-college depression made me gain weight lol. 98 on me is perfect!

[basil67]

Uh-huh. You forgot a few things though - female pattern baldness, hot flashes and vaginal dryness rivaling the Sahara desert. Fair's fair, right?

 

Well yes.....this is the whole point of what we are saying. If older men and women want to find a partner, they will likely find themselves adjusting their expectations as their potential dates get older.

[basil67]

Huh? I don't know if that's sarcasm but I'm 5'3" and 110 lbs. I'm slim & curvy but not anorexic in any way, shape or form. I visit my doc twice a year and I've always been in great shape and healthy.

 

Daughter is 5'7" and 110 lbs and is perfectly healthy and curvy.

[RecentChange]

Daughter is 5'7" and 110 lbs and is perfectly healthy and curvy.

 

Just goes to show people can be built differently.

 

My sister is 5'7" and was 105 pounds when she was hospitalized for an eating disorder.

 

At 125 pounds she still wears a size zero.

 

From a strictly BMI standpoint 110 is considered underweight for a 5'7" woman.

 

But yet other women are healthy and have appropriate body fat weighing in at the same amount. Muscle mass, body frame etc make a difference.

[basil67]

Yep, she's got a tiny frame. But has good skin colour, rosy cheeks, eats well and wears a size E bra. If she looked drawn or her boobs disappeared, it would be a different story altogether.

[preraph]

You know, when I first saw this thread, by the title I thought the guy had actually adjusted to dating heavier women, but nope, same old fat bashing as usual.

[FMW]

I think OP needs to stop seeing this woman and look for someone he feels truly attracted to and with whom he doesn't feel he has to have sex in the dark in order to get it up.

 

Sometimes it seems men feel they are doing a woman a favor by "settling" to be with her. Take note guys - she'll be much happier if you just pass on by.

 

Stop worrying about being seen as shallow and worry about grudgingly staying with her and knocking her self esteem. Women (and people in general) are not clueless about a lack of enthusiasm on the part of their partner.

 

Move along.

[elaine567]

Some men cannot do any better than "settle" though.

They do not present an attractive enough package to get the women they really want or feel entitled to...

 

As FMW says they often do a hatchet job on her self esteem... they criticise or immerse themselves in porn and withhold sex...

[Sam2020]

I think OP could basically be a good guy and really got along with this woman then liked her enough to go forward. But then when the clothes come off everything is exposed that you never really saw before and he began to question it.

 

Even we thin ladies have something we don't like about ourselves like cellulite on our thighs and whatever else. All this is very easy to hide under clothes, believe me I know first hand!

[Redhead14]

Some men cannot do any better than "settle" though.

They do not present an attractive enough package to get the women they really want or feel entitled to...

 

As FMW says they often do a hatchet job on her self esteem... they criticise or immerse themselves in porn and withhold sex...

 

 

Well, I'd say that the women in these cases are settling as well. She's got to be sensing that he isn't that into her and not getting what she needs/wants out of the relationship either. So they are both settling for something less they they want or hope for, etc. What's the point of that?

[FMW]

I think OP could basically be a good guy

 

Oh, I don't think he's a bad guy. Just misguided in staying with this woman he clearly feels isn't up to his standards. Again - just move along.

[chillii]

That's a mere 112 pounds! If she's over 5'1 she is actually unhealthy. The average American woman weighs 170 pounds. Last time I weighed 112 doctors wanted to hospitalize me for being emaciated & anorexic.

 

 

 

 

If 51kg is 112 p and average women there are 170 , jesus, big women.

She's not American she is fairly small, petite but they can still pile on the weight , she looks after herself and nah, she's as healthy as a horse.

[elaine567]

The "problem" being, I guess the fascination for large framed, tall American men and superior nutrition.

The women produced by these men, are often genetically taller and bigger boned to start off with. Great diet and they become even bigger.

 

One cannot compare against the genetically small boned, petite women from other cultures. Genetically smaller with often a smattering of poor nutrition in childhood = smaller and lighter women.

[Highndry]

Not sure what to think about this. My mom's dad was 6'4" and tough as nails. My mother was 5'5" and petite, which doesn't square with your post. I am 6'1" with large bones and broad shoulders. All of my sisters are under 5'5" and petite.

Edited September 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Sam2020]

The "problem" being, I guess the fascination for large framed, tall American men and superior nutrition.

The women produced by these men, are often genetically taller and bigger boned to start off with. Great diet and they become even bigger.

 

One cannot compare against the genetically small boned, petite women from other cultures. Genetically smaller with often a smattering of poor nutrition in childhood = smaller and lighter women.

 

More Americans have horrible nutrition than not. The US has some of the worst health because of fast food super-size consumption and sugar/simple carbs in 99% of stuff on the grocery store. That's why the average weight has skyrocketed and clothing industry now has "vanity" sizing.

[fromheart]

I'm in my 40's I work out 3-5 times per week. Have been that way since my late teens, some time off here and there. Martial arts is one of my passions.

 

I've met men in their 60's who were fighting fit. You still should be strong in your 40's but your saying you've been putting on weight since your 30's. that means that you haven't been taking care of yourself. Its not age that's putting on the weight, your too young for that. Yes, 95% of people are obese but that's not due to age, this is due to their bad decisions.

 

To directly answer your question, if a GF wasn't taking care of her body she's not the one for me. I tend to date younger women but I have met women in their late 30's early 40's who have trained most of their lives and look better than a 22 year old born with good looks, but not taking care of herself.

 

If you want a woman who looks great naked, than you also have to look great yourself. It's perfectly feasible and up to you. If you want to get fit, you have the option.

[preraph]

Some people simply never look great naked, no matter how thin they get nor how much they work out, men and women.

[fromheart]

I'd say if you work on yourself with dedication, your going to look great naked to somebody out there.

Edited September 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[thefooloftheyear]

That's a low bar, buddy.....There are women and men that would scare little children with their clothes on let alone off, that look great to somebody...

 

TFY

Edited September 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[fromheart]

As in working out hard, watching their diet, not smoking or drinking. Wouldn't say that's a low bar, most people feel they can't do it. Yet everyone can.

Edited September 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator