Author Savanna199 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Posted October 18, 2019 That depends upon the lyrics of the song and how the person actually feels about both the song and you. True. Although I have no idea how he feels about me. He's kind private He's flirty but private in terms of feelings Kind of like me minus the flirting because I don't even do that lol
Author Savanna199 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Posted October 18, 2019 And yet...you still haven't been on one date with this guy. Let it go. Learn from this. He said we would, but the condition was we speak properly on the phone. We've only had one proper conversation so far. Rest had been through texts
Author Savanna199 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Posted October 18, 2019 Not really because he never actually asked you out on a proper date. Calling or texting is just that. Until you actually go out and spend time together it really means nothing. No I get it but I mean interested in getting to know me further
Trail Blazer Posted October 18, 2019 Posted October 18, 2019 Maybe you're right, maybe i don't have my **** together, not like him anyway. I mean I do get that i am hard to get, not even playing it. But if he gets fed up so easily maybe he should just find some easy girl I am sorry, but I cannot even read beyond this point without commenting. That attitude is exactly the backwards logic, entitlement that, from my perspective, will make myself and many other guys lose intetest real quick. Maybe you're really cute and get a lot of guys messaging or matching with you, depending on what dating app you're on. I get it, good looking girls become overwhelmed by the attention. However... if there's a guy you do like, you need to convey to him that. If he's a guy who you'd assume would not have difficulty getting dates, well, it's even more pertinent then! The ridiculousness of what you're suggesting here really needs to be highlighted. I'm not picking on you, but I am trying to make you reflect on how your thought processes are just so off. If I detect someone isn't interested, I move on. I will make effort to keep the conversation going, if I like the girl. Will I continue to message if she seemingly loses interest? No... in fact, if the effort to converse isn't being closely matched by her, then I move on. I guarantee you that if he pursued more, you would be turned off by his behavior because you'd feel that he's coming across as desperate. There's just no winning with girls who've adopted your impossible to please, entitled attitude. Hence many guys, myself included, walk. For many of us guys, especially the ones you'd actually want to date, there are plenty of girls out there who also want to date but aren't going to play silly games in the process. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted October 19, 2019 Posted October 19, 2019 He said we would, but the condition was we speak properly on the phone. We've only had one proper conversation so far. Rest had been through texts Right, and that didn't happen until it was already too late. Again, you need to move on.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 19, 2019 Author Posted October 19, 2019 (edited) IMaybe you're really cute and get a lot of guys messaging or matching with you, depending on what dating app you're on. I get it, good looking girls become overwhelmed by the attention. However... if there's a guy you do like, you need to convey to him that. If he's a guy who you'd assume would not have difficulty getting dates, well, it's even more pertinent then! The ridiculousness of what you're suggesting here really needs to be highlighted. I'm not picking on you, but I am trying to make you reflect on how your thought processes are just so off. If I detect someone isn't interested, I move on. I will make effort to keep the conversation going, if I like the girl. Will I continue to message if she seemingly loses interest? No... in fact, if the effort to converse isn't being closely matched by her, then I move on. I get hundreds of guys matching me everyday, I reject most of them lol. I'm very particular about who I end up speaking to. So this guy was actually one of a small percentage of guys who i accepted. I'm not playing games, well not intentionally anyway. It's just if he messages for example, then I will took an and the same with calling. Its very rare I will double text or double call. It has to be equal. I don't want to feel like I'm chasing the guy either. To be fair he's the same anyway. The only difference between me and him is he kind of set out his intentions before. Implying he was looking for relationship, marriage etc eventually. I have yet to tell him. It's been a while though since he said anything of that nature, so I don't even know how he sees me now , if he even wants to date or meet. I mean I called him yesterday and he was fairly receptive, told me he was at work and would call later etc.. But I don't want to outright ask him thoughts on his mind yet Edited October 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited
dramallama Posted October 19, 2019 Posted October 19, 2019 To be fair he's the same anyway. The only difference between me and him is he kind of set out his intentions before. Implying he was looking for relationship, marriage etc eventually. I have yet to tell him. It's been a while though since he said anything of that nature, so I don't even know how he sees me now , if he even wants to date or meet. I mean I called him yesterday and he was fairly receptive, told me he was at work and would call later etc.. But I don't want to outright ask him thoughts on his mind yet How long have you been talking to this guy - in one of your posts you said you showed your male friend a picture of him a few months ago?? He hasn't met you, he hasn't a clue what you are to him, you're just a flighty difficult penpal at the moment. You're obviously very attractive or he wouldn't be bothering at all. He doesn't contact you unless you contact him first by the sounds of it - so he's not all that interested. Give it up, it's a waste of time!
stillafool Posted October 19, 2019 Posted October 19, 2019 There's just no winning with girls who've adopted your impossible to please, entitled attitude. Hence many guys, myself included, walk. For many of us guys, especially the ones you'd actually want to date, there are plenty of girls out there who also want to date but aren't going to play silly games in the process. You're correct and really good looking girls who are willing to date without playing silly games. Especially if you live in a big city like L.A. or NYC there's a good looking girl walking by every 2 minutes so you have to bring more to the table than looks nowadays. It's too common.
Maddie82 Posted October 19, 2019 Posted October 19, 2019 (edited) It's been a while though since he said anything of that nature, so I don't even know how he sees me now , if he even wants to date or meet. He doesn't see you as a potential love interest, that's obvious enough. You have been friend zoned because everything he says doesn't suggest otherwise. If he wanted to date you he would have by now. But you remain flaky and fully intent on getting him to chase you. [] The best thing you can is follow everyone's advice about letting him go. Edited October 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 You're correct and really good looking girls who are willing to date without playing silly games. Especially if you live in a big city like L.A. or NYC there's a good looking girl walking by every 2 minutes so you have to bring more to the table than looks nowadays. It's too common. So what do guys look for then? Out of curiosity. Asides.from the obvious good looks
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 How long have you been talking to this guy - in one of your posts you said you showed your male friend a picture of him a few months ago?? He hasn't met you, he hasn't a clue what you are to him, you're just a flighty difficult penpal at the moment. You're obviously very attractive or he wouldn't be bothering at all. He doesn't contact you unless you contact him first by the sounds of it - so he's not all that interested. Give it up, it's a waste of time! Maybe. I mean if i initiate he's very interested then, asks me questions etc. So now he's waiting on me to give him a call and asking when etc...
ExpatInItaly Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 I mean if i initiate he's very interested then, asks me questions etc. So now he's waiting on me to give him a call and asking when etc... So what is stopping you from doing so? You started this thread over 1.5 months ago and have made virtually zero progress with this guy.
stillafool Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 So what do guys look for then? Out of curiosity. Asides.from the obvious good looks They look for girls who are kind, sincere, trustworthy, independent, actually have something worthwhile going on in their lives besides men and who are dependable. Looks are a dime a dozen so it is a deep emotional connection that makes people fall in love.
Legatus Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 So what do guys look for then? Out of curiosity. Asides.from the obvious good looks Looks only get you so far. What counts is somebody you connect on a deeper level through conversation, equality, respect, and not playing games. A girl who isn't afraid to show interest but also generates interest from my side, and allows me to reciprocate.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 So what is stopping you from doing so? You started this thread over 1.5 months ago and have made virtually zero progress with this guy. He basically messaged asking when I'll call and I replied with to be confirmed and he replied with awaiting orders madam. Whatever tht means lol. I tend to call when I know I'll have sufficient time to be on the phone. There's no point if I can only have a convo for like 10 minutes.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 They look for girls who are kind, sincere, trustworthy, independent, actually have something worthwhile going on in their lives besides men and who are dependable. Looks are a dime a dozen so it is a deep emotional connection that makes people fall in love. I would like to think I'm all of those things. I've also heard that men are attracted to mystery, that you can't fully give everything away to a guy ever because that kills attraction. So I guess I got that sorted . Not intentional but the I tend to be like that
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 Looks only get you so far. What counts is somebody you connect on a deeper level through conversation, equality, respect, and not playing games. A girl who isn't afraid to show interest but also generates interest from my side, and allows me to reciprocate. But I've seen so many times women give all of that to a man and don't play games but they end up being played? And the guy is more interested in someone who shows them no interest lol. For example with one of my male friends. He's had women who give him time, respect, don't play games etc etc. And he tells me he has no interest in any of them and is dying for the woman he worked with who told him she has no interest in him yet he's still obsessed with her. What's that all about a bit contradictory isn't it lol
Trail Blazer Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 I would like to think I'm all of those things. I've also heard that men are attracted to mystery, that you can't fully give everything away to a guy ever because that kills attraction. So I guess I got that sorted . Not intentional but the I tend to be like that No. Your version of "mystery" is probably not what most guys find attractive. If he's looking for a conquest, maybe. But not if he's looking for an honest and trustworthy partner. Just being open and honest, saying what you think instead of expecting a guy to be a mind reader... it's those things that come across as the opposite of playing games that will attract and retain the right guy.
Legatus Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 Fair enough but is it a type of guy you want? Because we give you advice based on what you tell us. What does that tell you if your friend tells you he doesn't need time, respect, not playing games? Does it make you go "oh yes that's attractive" or "what is he talking about?" Also obsession is neither love nor a relationship, so ask yourself who has a better chance of getting it right? People who give you advice here or him?
Legatus Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 Just being open and honest, saying what you think instead of expecting a guy to be a mind reader... it's those things that come across as the opposite of playing games that will attract and retain the right guy. That is basically gold. I learned over the years that being open and honest is attractive, exudes confidence, and you can still be mysterious but without being mind****ed.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 No. Your version of "mystery" is probably not what most guys find attractive. If he's looking for a conquest, maybe. But not if he's looking for an honest and trustworthy partner. Just being open and honest, saying what you think instead of expecting a guy to be a mind reader... it's those things that come across as the opposite of playing games that will attract and retain the right guy. Actually this guy did once say he's all about open communication lol. But then there were times I asked him questions and he snapped at me, because they were too personal. At that time he expected me to be open while he was having a go at me for asking normal questions..e.g.. about his past relationships all I asked was how long did u go out for.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 Fair enough but is it a type of guy you want? Because we give you advice based on what you tell us. What does that tell you if your friend tells you he doesn't need time, respect, not playing games? Does it make you go "oh yes that's attractive" or "what is he talking about?" Also obsession is neither love nor a relationship, so ask yourself who has a better chance of getting it right? People who give you advice here or him? Well obsession is my word for the way he acts lol. But his words were " I love her" I'm in love with her". He didnt say he doesnt need respect/time etc but again that is my view.cfrom what I see. He's got this woman who has basically got him wrapped around her finger by not having or showing any romantic interest in him. She worked.with.him and they obviously interacted then on a professional level and he literally kept saying he's in love. He wrote a letter to her saying pretty much how he feels about her and she responded and said I'm sorry you feel that way but I don't feel the same. She's got that element of mystery in the sense he doesn't know anything personal about her just how she interacts at work with people and according to him she's amazing and so nice and that apparently got him hooked. But Yeh after that he had women who showed they liked him and wanted to give him time and effort but he kept saying he doesn't want them he wants that other woman
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 That is basically gold. I learned over the years that being open and honest is attractive, exudes confidence, and you can still be mysterious but without being mind****ed. How can you be open and honest but still be mysterious lol. Those words contradict each other lol
Trail Blazer Posted October 21, 2019 Posted October 21, 2019 Actually this guy did once say he's all about open communication lol. But then there were times I asked him questions and he snapped at me, because they were too personal. At that time he expected me to be open while he was having a go at me for asking normal questions..e.g.. about his past relationships all I asked was how long did u go out for.Yes, and that's a reflection on him and him alone. In fact, being open and communicative allows you to seek out the things you wish the learn about any respective partner. Their answers help you weed out the one's who aren't worth your time. If you'd focused more on the content of what he was saying, and less on some ridiculous penchant for a guy to chase you because you don't want to be an "easy girl" then you may have realized he was no good and weeded him out of your own volition.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Posted October 21, 2019 Yes, and that's a reflection on him and him alone. In fact, being open and communicative allows you to seek out the things you wish the learn about any respective partner. Their answers help you weed out the one's who aren't worth your time. If you'd focused more on the content of what he was saying, and less on some ridiculous penchant for a guy to chase you because you don't want to be an "easy girl" then you may have realized he was no good and weeded him out of your own volition. To be honest at the start I was very much not feeling it. Everything he was saying I was thinking do i really want this person lol. But I guess because he tried hard to get to know me and did make a lot of effort i kind of forgot all of that and was then feeling a different way about it What do you think about a man paying for a holiday for a woman. Is it wrong to want that sometimes I was just testing him to see how he is. He made a comment bout us going on holiday and I just tested him to see what he would say when I said "If you fund it" and he was just like "lol bye". As in no thanks
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