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Should I reach out or leave it?


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  • Author
Posted
I am genuinely baffled by this comment lol it is actually rediculous lol you're a nice person op and I see your sweet side, but I do get baffled by some of your bazaar comments. Sorry but no, you're actually wrong. Men can be just as emotional as women.

 

If they are it's a rarity. It's just my opinion but at the same time I don't think I'm wrong lol

  • Author
Posted
This confirms my suspicion that you do not know that much about men at all.

 

What’s your relationship history like, out of curiosity?

 

I've met and dated many guys, in terms of relationships maybe one and that was with a narc so I wouldn't really count that

Posted
If they are it's a rarity. It's just my opinion but at the same time I don't think I'm wrong lol

 

Trust me you're wrong lol and it's not a rarity

  • Like 1
Posted
? he thinks he's nice that's the funniest thing though and that the cop is the bad guy. He kept saying to me you'll see go and find out yourself

 

He has a huge crush on you and he is trying to ruin any potential relationship. It sounds like you are young and nieve because you don't seem to grasp reality too well. You still laugh about this male friend when you should be furious with him. You don't need a friend like him.

Posted
There are lots of men pinning over lost loves.

 

Yes but if you probe a little deeper into these lovelorn men, it does seem that many such men are hung up over the "great sex" or the "hot body"...

Maybe Savanna isn't that wrong...?

Posted

Omg! You are all over the place. You cannot manage to have a phone call how do you think you can manage an entire relationship? You are into dumb games like “I will not chase a man”. No one needs to chase anyone in a mature healthy relationship. I dont know how this guy even stayed this long! You come across as flakey, completely disorganized, you are unable to keep your own word, your ego and pride are so high (which actually translates to low self confidence and insecurity). I think he deserves a woman who has her sh*t together.

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)
No they aint as emotional in my experience. Or they just get over things much quicker.

 

Their actions prove me right.

And if men do pine over women it's not becsuse they felt a genuine connection, it's just becsuse they aint getting any no more and think that W/o man was the best looking woman they ever had.

 

Other than that i really do believe what I said

 

 

 

 

These days l think women understand men less than men do women, some of the ideas out there, tell ya what, the mind just boggles..

l'm a guy 50s , never even heard a guy moaning because she was so good lookig, plenty of good looking women out there especially younger years.

Believe me, we love just as hard as any woman when we do love l actually think probably even more so, and we miss all the same things women do.

But if you find guys are only missing you for the fun then that one is really very very simple, he just wasn't even that into you in the first place.

That's actually on you for allowing it in the first place and even wasting your time with someone like that.

 

 

ps , still , must admit though it's nice to know we are such a mystery to women , but funny , l use to think that was vise verse. Still , it can get that frustrating because of some of the ideas they come up with.

Edited by chillii
Posted
No they aint as emotional in my experience. Or they just get over things much quicker.

 

Their actions prove me right.

And if men do pine over women it's not becsuse they felt a genuine connection, it's just becsuse they aint getting any no more and think that W/o man was the best looking woman they ever had.

 

Other than that i really do believe what I said

 

You need to take a step back from dating. Address all these negative emotions you have towards the male species and then start dating. This baggage will get you nowhere.

  • Like 1
Posted
I've met and dated many guys, in terms of relationships maybe one and that was with a narc so I wouldn't really count that

 

This is precisely why I asked. You don't have the relationship experience to back up your oversimplified, sweeping generalizations of men.

  • Like 1
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

Another update :

So I ended up finally calling him properly and having a decent conversation with him. So no one can say this time that i didnt make the effort. It was about a 45 minute conversation. So what happened was I was on my way home, once I got home I told him I had to go ( it was late had work next day). He seemed he didn't want to let me go as in he wanted to carry on speaking to me. He said it's fine I'll call u once you're home and settled not a big deal. Then he called but by that time I was already in bed ready to sleep and I messaged saying sorry I'm having an early night.

 

Then he continued messaging the next day saying "hope you have a good day at work" and "You have a really cute voice".. I replied with likewise and thanks. He was like "we will catch up soon". Then he said "miss me" a few hours later, I didn't know what to say to that so I replied with a bitmoji of myself saying "oh you" . He then said "lol goodnight"

 

Forward about 4/5 days following that, with no contact from him I initiated a messaging saying "hello ____ and then a little emoji with the stars in its eyes"..He responded pretty quick and said "hey u good and someone's in a good mood"...I then replied with "am i not always " and He then replied again pretty quick and goes "keep it up" And "how was work"..with a thumbs up. I said work was not bad.

I then proceeded to ask if he attended some event he was telling me about in our previous conversation. He had to attend due to his cop duties. I also said i was trying to look for you on tv ��. This was just a joke.

And about five minutes after that I sent a random song. I tend to always do this though with all my friends,songs I like etc. It was sigala "wish you well" ��. I told my friend And She was like that is a break up song lol ��. I just liked the song and thought I'd send it. There was no meaning behind it at all from my end. But for those who don't know the song the woman singing is saying she's sad they are not together but good things get lost along the way and she wishes him well.

 

Well since I sent those last messages i expected him to say something or anything at all. But I got nothing. Total silence now for ten days. Now I don't know if it's something I said in the last messages or if it's just him.

Posted

So...nothing has really changed then and you learned nothing from what many people told you before. Where was this supposed 45 min conversation? It sounds like you were doing what you usually do, trying to get him to chase you, but he didn't which results in him backing off. You were bread crumbing. You were also advised to just leave it because he is not interested now, but you didn't listen. 10 days NC? You need to give up.

  • Author
Posted
So...nothing has really changed then and you learned nothing from what many people told you before. Where was this supposed 45 min conversation? It sounds like you were doing what you usually do, trying to get him to chase you, but he didn't which results in him backing off. You were bread crumbing. You were also advised to just leave it because he is not interested now, but you didn't listen. 10 days NC? You need to give up.

 

I don't think nearly an hour long conversation is bread crumbing someone. You need to look that up.

 

I initiated the phone conversation and I initiated the messages after that so....

Posted
I don't think nearly an hour long conversation is bread crumbing someone. You need to look that up.

 

I initiated the phone conversation and I initiated the messages after that so....

 

Still cant see in your update where this 45 min conversation took place. You were still being evasive with him. Yes, bread crumbing, trying to get him to chase you. You initiating some texts messages is too little too late. He is not interested romantically anymore because this.

  • Author
Posted
Still cant see in your update where this 45 min conversation took place. You were still being evasive with him. Yes, bread crumbing, trying to get him to chase you. You initiating some texts messages is too little too late. He is not interested romantically anymore because this.

 

The phone conversation I had with him was a couple of weeks ago now. I decided to step up and actually give him a call. He was pretty happy to talk and as I was saying even when I said I had to go since I was home, he wanted to continue the conversation after that. And the following day he followed up with messages saying he thnks my voice is cute etc etc..And if I miss him ...

What do u need proof of lol. Do u need a call log or something. I did call him.

Posted

Sounds like he's put you in the friend zone but since you called him late at night on your way home he probably thought he might get to come over and do the deed and get it over with since it's clear you don't want anything more than childish play. He more than likely is already seeing another woman and that is why his phone was always busy.

 

Plus the fact that you do not think men are human (no emotions) so no wonder you don't engage. But I have to ask if you think men have no emotions why do you bother with them? Just be alone.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
Sounds like he's put you in the friend zone but since you called him late at night on your way home he probably thought he might get to come over and do the deed and get it over with since it's clear you don't want anything more than childish play. He more than likely is already seeing another woman and that is why his phone was always busy.

 

Plus the fact that you do not think men are human (no emotions) so no wonder you don't engage. But I have to ask if you think men have no emotions why do you bother with them? Just be alone.

 

Well I have been alone pretty much my whole life. But Yeh I though let me.give it one more go but of course I've been proven right yet again.

 

The fact that you even said maybe he has someone else while still engaging in a phone conversation with me and apparently trying to come over and do the deed, shows me exactly how men are? So I wasn't really that wrong was i

Posted

He’s not interested in dating you anymore.

 

You really need to move on, OP.

  • Author
Posted
He’s not interested in dating you anymore.

 

You really need to move on, OP.

 

Well 2 be fair you said that right from the beginning even when it was quite obvious he was interested

Posted

He responded pretty quick and said "hey u good and someone's in a good mood"...I then replied with "am i not always "

I sent a random song.

It was sigala "wish you well"

that is a break up song

the song the woman singing is saying she's sad they are not together but good things get lost along the way and she wishes him well.

 

Well since I sent those last messages i expected him to say something or anything at all. But I got nothing. Total silence now for ten days. Now I don't know if it's something I said in the last messages or if it's just him.

 

If you're sending him a break up song, I'd say he got your message loud and clear.

  • Author
Posted
If you're sending him a break up song, I'd say he got your message loud and clear.

 

:mad:

It wasn't even like that. Cant one send song links anymore without too much being read into it

Posted
Well 2 be fair you said that right from the beginning even when it was quite obvious he was interested

 

Not really because he never actually asked you out on a proper date. Calling or texting is just that. Until you actually go out and spend time together it really means nothing.

Posted
:mad:

It wasn't even like that. Cant one send song links anymore without too much being read into it

 

TBH, I would think this was pretty silly also unless we were actually dating and I knew the song was about how you felt about me. Otherwise - what?

Posted

 

The fact that you even said maybe he has someone else while still engaging in a phone conversation with me and apparently trying to come over and do the deed, shows me exactly how men are? So I wasn't really that wrong was i

 

Yes. He may not be exclusive with her yet.

Posted
:mad:

It wasn't even like that. Cant one send song links anymore without too much being read into it

 

That depends upon the lyrics of the song and how the person actually feels about both the song and you.

Posted
Well 2 be fair you said that right from the beginning even when it was quite obvious he was interested

 

And yet...you still haven't been on one date with this guy.

 

Let it go.

 

Learn from this.

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