Maddie82 Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 Sad times. Maybe I'll actually try my best still but if not I guess I'll let it go He's not interested anymore. What can't you understand about that? 1
Maddie82 Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 You need to take a step back and look at what you're doing wrong. You sit back and want men to do all the chasing but doing that chases them away. You mess them around, act alouf but it does not work. You have lost this guy because of this.
kendahke Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 I don't mean to be that way, sometimes my pride gets in the way. Pride goes before destruction and the haughty spirit before the fall...
kendahke Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 Not severely chased but a little bit more than what I'm getting at the moment. Which is nothing. I guess so!!!! At the moment, he's moved on. Why would he bother with you? Every time he did, you rebuffed him. You've already told him that you're over him by your inaction. Because fair enough before I wasn't tht good with phonecalls but But nothing. You're purposely not good with phone calls. I always apologised and did messsge him to ask how hes doing etc. With him currently it's like he's not giving me anything . Apologizing doesn't mean that the other person is obligated to dismiss how you treated them. That's game playing and it's insulting to adults to be treated this way. Looks like I'll have to severely chase him to get anything now Stop. Just don't. Not a cute look. Reeks of desperation.
Maddie82 Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 Not severely chased but a little bit more than what I'm getting at the moment. Which is nothing. Looks like I'll have to severely chase him to get anything now You are just going to make a huge fool of yourself and look crazy if you try that. He's already moved on. Why can't you understand that?
stillafool Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 Why can't you understand that? It's the norm Maddie. The minute these guys display a lack of interest these women lace up their running shoes and start the chase. Men these days have got it made. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 Looks like I'll have to severely chase him to get anything now Are you trying to make yourself look totally desperate? That is how you're going to come across. Not attractive.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 1, 2019 Author Posted October 1, 2019 (edited) But nothing. You're purposely not good with phone calls. Apologizing doesn't mean that the other person is obligated to dismiss how you treated them. That's game playing and it's insulting to adults to be treated this way. Stop. Just don't. Not a cute look. Reeks of desperation. No not purposely. I literally don't call anyone. even my friends we will all just WhatsApp or another and sometimes arrange to meet up in person. So actually I'm going out of my way to call him. When I did call him he was always on the phone so for him being on the phone 24/7 Is a lifestyle. And as for your last statement of course I'm not going to chase him, u think me the person who barely had even one conversation with him will suddenly start chasing him Do me a favour Edited October 1, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited
Author Savanna199 Posted October 1, 2019 Author Posted October 1, 2019 It's the norm Maddie. The minute these guys display a lack of interest these women lace up their running shoes and start the chase. Men these days have got it made. If never chased a guy, never have never will. You guys all took what I said literally. And frankly you're all kinds deluded if u think someone with such a laid back attitude like mine will suddenly change personalities and go and chase someone. To be honest he is probably occupying his time with women who are willing to do that
kendahke Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 u think me the person who barely had even one conversation with him will suddenly start chasing him How should I know? I don't know you--only what you've written here. That's all any of us have to go on here as none of us knows you. We who have pointed this out didn't create this out of thin air... 1
Author Savanna199 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 How should I know? I don't know you--only what you've written here. That's all any of us have to go on here as none of us knows you. We who have pointed this out didn't create this out of thin air... Fair enough can't argue with that. But Yeh I wouldn't really chase him. I find it hard to even call him in the first place
elaine567 Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 Next man you need to strike while the iron is hot and whilst I would not recommend hard chasing of a guy who is showing no interest... if he is showing interest then you need to reciprocate that interest. What you did here was madness. The only type of guy who would have put up with that nonsense, would be crazy or desperate men and those are the kind of guys you need to avoid.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 Next man you need to strike while the iron is hot and whilst I would not recommend hard chasing of a guy who is showing no interest... if he is showing interest then you need to reciprocate that interest. What you did here was madness. The only type of guy who would have put up with that nonsense, would be crazy or desperate men and those are the kind of guys you need to avoid. Great. But I don't want a next man at the minute I still like this one. I think at the start I was unsure and at the same time I assumed he would be there forever u could say I took him for granted a bit. Now he's gone I'm just like I missed an opportunity kind of thing.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 Great. But I don't want a next man at the minute I still like this one. I think at the start I was unsure and at the same time I assumed he would be there forever u could say I took him for granted a bit. Now he's gone I'm just like I missed an opportunity kind of thing. Tough cookies, Savanna. You missed the boat. Why you assumed a man you have never met would be there forever is utterly baffling. You need to stop playing these games with men or you can expect to stay single for a long time.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 Tough cookies, Savanna. You missed the boat. Why you assumed a man you have never met would be there forever is utterly baffling. You need to stop playing these games with men or you can expect to stay single for a long time. 2bh I don't blame him at all. Well I have been single al ong time lol only because I'm choosy myself. But Yeh I dunno.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 2bh I don't blame him at all. Well I have been single al ong time lol only because I'm choosy myself. But Yeh I dunno. Well, clearly your approach ain't working for you. You can either keep doing what you're doing but accept that most men won't play along and you will stay single. Or, you can actually start to make some changes in how you interact with potential dates. If you don't like the results you're getting (and clearly you don't, or this thread wouldn't exist) you need to modify your strategy. Up to you.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 Well, clearly your approach ain't working for you. You can either keep doing what you're doing but accept that most men won't play along and you will stay single. Or, you can actually start to make some changes in how you interact with potential dates. If you don't like the results you're getting (and clearly you don't, or this thread wouldn't exist) you need to modify your strategy. Up to you. No it works as in people do end up meeting me for dates lol but then I end up changing my mind about them. This was the only one who was more specific in what he wants and how he wanted to interact with me. So I would need to change up my communication style.and laid back approach for him. But a lot of other guys they were fine with it so I dunno depends on the guy I guess
Maddie82 Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 No it works as in people do end up meeting me for dates lol but then I end up changing my mind about them. Rethink your strategies or you'll end up with a bad reputation. What you're doing to guys is not fair. You think some guys are fine with you picking them up and dropping them when it suits you, but they're probably not fine about it at all.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 Rethink your strategies or you'll end up with a bad reputation. What you're doing to guys is not fair. You think some guys are fine with you picking them up and dropping them when it suits you, but they're probably not fine about it at all. It's not really I drop them when it suits me. It's just I don't feel a connection or there is not much we have in common. I'm sure they will be fine. Men are no way nesr as emotional as women are
Author Savanna199 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 Rethink your strategies or you'll end up with a bad reputation. What you're doing to guys is not fair. You think some guys are fine with you picking them up and dropping them when it suits you, but they're probably not fine about it at all. Even This guy he a cop I'm sure he faced much worse in life. I doubt I effctedhim that much
Maddie82 Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 Even This guy he a cop I'm sure he faced much worse in life. I doubt I effected him that much Probably not. You showed a great lack of interest so he moved on easily enough. What you did after a month of NC though was probably a little confusing to him. Playing hot and cold with guys is not really fair to them. If you find yourself genuinely interested in a guy don't be afraid to show it. reciprocate their interest. Sitting back doing nothing shows the opposite. 1
Maddie82 Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 Men are no way near as emotional as women are Men can be just as emotional as women.
Author Savanna199 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Posted October 2, 2019 Probably not. You showed a great lack of interest so he moved on easily enough. What you did after a month of NC though was probably a little confusing to him. Playing hot and cold with guys is not really fair to them. If you find yourself genuinely interested in a guy don't be afraid to show it. reciprocate their interest. Sitting back doing nothing shows the opposite. I know I always get advice to the contrary though too. I.e to not give too much to remain a mystery etc.. But I'm naturally like that so I don't even need.to play it.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 (edited) I know I always get advice to the contrary though too. I.e to not give too much to remain a mystery etc.. But I'm naturally like that so I don't even need.to play it. The problem is that you're taking it too far. You don't know how to play it. Were you afraid this man wouldn't like you in person or something? I find that people who often think they're playing hard to get and being mysterious are actually motivated by insecurity and fear they won't be accepted if the person really gets to know them. Reading through your thread, I see a girl who lacks confidence and doesn't actually know that much about men, but tries to mask it with bravado. Whatever your reasoning, your approach sure didn't work when you wanted it to with this guy. Edited October 2, 2019 by ExpatInItaly 1
Maddie82 Posted October 2, 2019 Posted October 2, 2019 I know I always get advice to the contrary though too. I.e to not give too much to remain a mystery etc.. But I'm naturally like that so I don't even need.to play it. Who gave you this advise? Because it's crap and really not working for you. That's not the way to be with people. It's confusing to guys and you come off as uninterested so they back off. Then you lose someone you were genuinely interested in because of it. Whoever this person was who told you to 'remain a mystery' you shouldn't listen to them anymore. Was it your male friend? If so, there could be a possibility that this friend likes you and giving you bad advice so you wont officially get together with anyone.
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