Treakpeak Posted September 4, 2019 Posted September 4, 2019 Dear Everyone I would need some help / explanations. My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. After 11 years of being together. I am still under 30. Since broke up I had a lot of fun. Last month I meet a girl I really liked her and we clicked immediately (we talked and have fun from the first day) , she is very similar to me and I really like her. Even-though that new gf is more similar to me and we have much much more similar interests as I had with my ex. I honestly did not enjoy doing lots of things with my ex, but I have a feeling I really had a deep connection with my ex. I am afraid I will never connect with anyone on the same level as I was with her(ex)even though she was not my soulmate. From that experience (broke up) during the alone period I could find a girl and left her anytime. Now with the latest girl I fall in love again and she is the one I always dreamed about. But I am afraid I will never connect again on such a deep level as I was with my ex and because of betrayal. So finally here is my question is this experience because it was my first love? Or its because we grow up together or is something else? Thank you in advance
schlumpy Posted September 4, 2019 Posted September 4, 2019 I think you are right. That first connection you have when you first fall in love cannot be repeated. After that it's different. You can never again be as open. I wouldn't chase after something that only happens one time for most people. Build a new but just as strong connection with someone else.
Silver_star Posted September 4, 2019 Posted September 4, 2019 I remember the deep feelings I had for my first boyfriend...and the break up was the most devastating, the heartache I felt was intense, but looking back...now that I have loved again since then, I realize it was young love, something i had never experienced before it before so it was unique in that way...but I do not wish to be with him again, ever. He was not the most amazing man or anything. It wasnt HIM that made the love unique, it was me. It was my first time loving, so that is what made it special. I have had stronger love since that first love too..it's not the same, but it's different and I think it is even better. 1
Author Treakpeak Posted September 6, 2019 Author Posted September 6, 2019 Another thing every.. everygirl I am with I have a feeling I am cheating my old gf even though we are not together anymore why so?
Stevnx3 Posted September 6, 2019 Posted September 6, 2019 Hi Treakpeak! First loves are like a raging fire, which burns quickly. You may not find that type of love, again. But you can find a more stable, mature love, with the experiences you gained out of the 1st! Sounds like you may have found that love. Do not fret about how deep your connection is. You enjoy being with your new love, no? Lots of similar interests. You may experience a more mature, cautious and slow burning love with her. That is the kind of love that can last.
FMW Posted September 6, 2019 Posted September 6, 2019 I have a feeling I am cheating .....why so? Because you aren't over your ex yet. It's only been 4 months and you were together 11 years. It will take a while to mentally and emotionally cut those ties. My guess is that you will be just fine, you will eventually love again and realize that there are amazing connections still left for you to make that can equal if not surpass what you had with your ex. Just remember each relationship is unique and different, don't expect it to look or feel the same. Take your time and have faith. 1
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