Broke up with the love of my life, me :(

[lacktose]

Hey @imhappy

 

I would want to believe she's not my soulmate. But ugh, i fell in love with her the 2nd time i met her. i knew i love her when i did not hesitate to take a bullet for her in a dream. i poured my heart and soul into this relationship and she did too. I've made plenty of mistakes but i've done things right as well. it sucks that to her, the bad outweigh the good. I'm sure shes in pain too, all i wish is for her to come back and we can solve our these differences amicably. its been 2 months+, ive been meditating, going for therapy and reading on self-improvement books and honestly, im a lot better now. but shes not here to watch me grow and see me get better. i know how she wants to be love and i can definitely do it. but she's gone. to her, she probably thinks this relationship would never work in the long run. relationships are hard work, takes lots of work. my relationship at the end was unhealthy, but it doesnt mean things would get better. i wish she see things through my perspective. i blame myself entirely for this break up.

[Maddie82]

I've made plenty of mistakes but i've done things right as well. it sucks that to her, the bad outweigh the good. honestly, im a lot better now. but shes not here to watch me grow and see me get better. I wish she see things through my perspective. i blame myself entirely for this break up.

 

Unfortunately the hurtful things will outweigh the good because it had more of an impact on her. It affected her to the point where she felt genuinely unhappy. All you can do is learn from this for the future.

[lacktose]

@Maddie82

 

Yes, bad always outweigh the good. when i was chasing her, everyone told me words dont matter but actions do. so what did i do? i quit everything she dislikes. my lifestyle, my personality. i didnt complain. she doesnt like a few of my friends and wanted me to block them.i couldnt do that because i might work with them in the future. so i told those friends off nicely. i did not complain. i feel like ive done everything i possibly can to earn her trust and love. i went for baking classes for 2 months just so i can bake a cake for her birthday. why do people choose to let hurtful words stick to them? ive said millions of nice things, ive done countless acts of love, none of them sticks. i do these consistently. i buy her presents all the time because i see things that she would love/look good in and i wanna buy them for her. a girlfriend is to be dote on. but what happened? she said that i buy things because i wanted to cover up my mistkes and sweep the issues under the rug. do you know how this feels like?

 

there are days in the past where i felt i was taking her for-granted, i drive to the place i first met her and remind myself of all the good. i stopped nitpicking on the bad. but yo, nothing's ever work. because at the end of the day, im still a **** up that gave her pain and unhappiness and all the good is just fluff

Edited September 12, 2019 by lacktose

[fromheart]

Its funny, a long time ago at this time of year I also had a similiar sounding relationship with some similarities in the break up.

 

You've been saying abusive things to her. You are not ready for a relationship if you are saying abusive things to a woman. She is physically abusing you. She is also destructive. Like attracts like.

 

This has been revealed to you and her, so that you can improve upon yourselves. This was the purpose of the relationship, which has now naturally run its course.

 

Make a pact to yourself that you will never say hurtful things to a woman again. And that you will not tolerate hurtful things, or physical violence being inflicted on you by a gf. If a woman ever wsears at me, gives the slightest indication of physical violence I show her the door. Permanently.

 

Use this time to work on yourself. Go NC with your ex, it will just continue to be destructive unless you don't.

 

I've been where you are a few times, it isn't easy. But it will get better.

[lacktose]

Honestly, when we quarrelled, i didnt swear at her at all. ive never used vulgarities on her. or mock her looks. anything emotionally abusive, NO. ive never laid hands on her or screamed at her. NEVER. but fights get nasty u know, we tear each other throats.. all these are normal man. i want to work things out; compatibility is something that can be worked on and improved. she isnt willing but i am and i always will be. i have bad temper and fights were frequent. she couldnt tolerate it. i can accept her and do whatever she wnats me to. anything. i love her with all my heart. i really want her back, thats all i ask for.

Edited September 12, 2019 by lacktose

[fromheart]

Do you want normal though, or exceptional?

 

If you fight with your partner in front if your kids, how will the kids turn out? Yet another angry adult, thinking it's ok to fight.

 

You need to manage your anger and be emotionally responsible. It's not easy but unless you want all your relationships to be like this, you have to manage your temper.

Edited September 12, 2019 by fromheart