konfuzd Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 I am 24 and have been unlucky in love. I finally met this amazing guy. Things were going better than I ever imagined any relationship could ever be. Then because of the progression of things, I went on birth control. It completely drove me insane, I immediately got really depressed, had a mental break down and broke up with him. My doctor told me that it is a fairly common side effect of the birth control, and I was completely out of control of my emotions. I've tried to contact my ex to explain to him what happened, but he won't return my calls. I don't want to leave a message of such personal nature on his answering machine for his roommmates to hear, and I doubt that he'd take a letter seriously.... I don't know how to get through to him and convince him that I'm not a mental case, and I'm not just making this up to try to lure him back.... Please help!!!!
georgiagirl76 Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Although it may be possible for BC to alter your emotions (this is rare and I haven't ever heard of it before) it wouldn't totally change your emotional control. I doubt he will buy that story even if you could talk to him. I think you need to really look deep within and think about how you responded to things and what exactly were the problems. Until you take responsibility for your emotions- your ex an any other men are not going to be too accepting of you.
bab Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 I went through a similar emotional breakdown with my first set of BC pills. I cried at the drop of the hat, but I was used to that with PMS. What really got me was how angry I could get at my bf. It was crazy. I would get angry over things that NEVER would've bothered me before. My bf actually said that he'd rather use condoms for the rest of his life and have me back to my old self. I totally underestimated what hormones could do. I'm on a new type that increases the estrogen and decreases the progesteren, and it's helped tremendously. I still cry alot the day before I start, but at least now I know what day of the month that is, so I know that it will pass within 24 hrs. What I'm saying is that I do infact believe that the BC could've affected your ability to reason. Try an email. Tell him exactly what you just said. That you didn't want to leave this on the machine, and you would really love to talk to him, but lay it all out in the email. Unfortunately, he might not believe you, or care enough to try again. Ain't modern technology grand??
Author konfuzd Posted September 29, 2005 Author Posted September 29, 2005 Although it may be possible for BC to alter your emotions (this is rare and I haven't ever heard of it before) it wouldn't totally change your emotional control. With all due respect, I will take my medical advice from a qualified professional, and don't know how you figure you know more than my doctor does.... it only makes sense that pumping the body full of hormones would affect one's mood, and it has been proven to be a common side effect, although the intensity obviously varies case to case. Everyone, of course is entitled to their opinions, but please don't spew out comments which refute a medical diagnosis from someone who knows a lot more of my medical history than what could possibly come from a short internet blog.....
Art_Critic Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 Maybe you can't get thru to your ex is because that the excuse of using BC pills for the reason that you treated your ex like crap is just that ... An Excuse. You need to take responsibility for your actions and until your do your ex will most likely not even hear you speak. BC can make your hormones go crazy and can affect your temper but you must already have some anger issues building inside you for them the make it WORSE not create them. I would suggest that you stop making excuses for your actions and look deep inside you for the real reason that you acted the way you did and do some work on yourself to correct your problems. Then you can ask your ex for forgiveness and until you fix yourself you can't my 2 cents ..
Author konfuzd Posted September 29, 2005 Author Posted September 29, 2005 wow, thanks for jumping to conclusions! FYI- I didn't treat my bf like crap! I had an emotional break down.... I never once told him he did anything wrong... I broke up with him because I was not feeling like myself, and didn't want him exposed to the person that I had become... I knew something was wrong with me, and I told him that I felt guilty for using him as a crutch through my personal problems. He did everything he could to make me happy, yet for some reason, I felt this emptiness like I just lost a best friend, and then I did.... It's so difficult to explain emotions, especially to people who have never gone through such a thing. I have always been a very strong person through many difficult situations, and I have never suffered PMS a day in my life, hence the reason I felt it necessary to seek medical help. It is not normal for your personality to change 180 degrees without provocation. I don't need to validate this to anyone, but would like to at the very least redeem my sense of dignity in the eyes of a person who means the world to me, even if he won't take me back.
Art_Critic Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 I have not jumped to any conclusions.. You asked for advice about a specific issue and I responded about that specific issue of why he won't talk to you.. You don't seem to be listening.. Go back and reread my post You have to not use excuses for your actions.. You take responsibility for your failures .. I'm sorry that I'm not telling you what you want to hear.. If you wanted me to pacify you then you should've said so up front. Using BC as an excuse will not get your ex to talk to you... You have to accept the responsiblity yourself and apoligize to him.. Don't blame the BC for your actions.. They didn't cause them.. They might have enhanced the feelings.. but the feelings were there to begin with.. and for the record.. I was married for 5 years to a woman that had hormonal imbalances as well as going thru infertility treatments for 4 rounds of Invitro.. So I do understand the issue
jhurtinct Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 I'm not going to say much because I don't want you to take it the wrong way, you asked for help, plp r going to give you their thoughts on the subject-take it openly. If your ex won't take your calls like someone suggested send an email, if you think he won't take a letter seriously enough why not try and stop by his home, work, places he goes? Just a thought if not leave a mess on the machine state that it is important you speak with him, that you just need to clearfy things if he doesn't respond there maybe reason.
Art_Critic Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 Konfuzed.. I'm sorry if I seem like I'm being harsh.. I'm trying to get you to see that all you have to do is look inside and sincerly apologize to him without excuses. Without ... and with time he should start talking to you
Author konfuzd Posted September 29, 2005 Author Posted September 29, 2005 Don't apologize... I do appriciate hearing everyone's point of view, even if it isn't what I want to hear. Reading your post again actually made me see how he will view the situation. He will most likely assume that I am making excuses for my behavior, but at the same time, if I simply apologize to him, I'm sure he will just expect the same thing to again and keep his distance (and I wouldn't blame him a bit). I think I am in a lose/lose scenario. Time will heal, I suppose... Thank you for your thoughts.
Art_Critic Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 Don't apologize... I do appriciate hearing everyone's point of view, even if it isn't what I want to hear. Reading your post again actually made me see how he will view the situation. He will most likely assume that I am making excuses for my behavior, but at the same time, if I simply apologize to him, I'm sure he will just expect the same thing to again and keep his distance (and I wouldn't blame him a bit). I think I am in a lose/lose scenario. Time will heal, I suppose... Thank you for your thoughts. I could've have said it better myself ... Beautiful.. You have the perfect attitude to move forward.. Chin Up.. you have just passed the hard part..Knowing how to proceed.. Good luck
RecordProducer Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 They say that the new generation of pills contains little doses of hormones, but it's true that hormones affect our mood big time. When you have a baby your hormones go up-side-down and every women feels depressed. But those are huge doses of hormones. If you want to know the true, start taking them now (if you've stopped) and see how they will affect your mood, although you won't have precise results anyway. You need to change your pill or simply not take it. Anyway, I know that as much as my hormones can change my mood, the reasons for which I bitch are usually hidden and suppressed in my mind always. In other words, feelings about things that bother me but I stay silent about surface in a very aggressive way. Alcohol does this to me as well as PMS. But BC pills - never. If the BF doesn't return your calls after you've told him you needed to speak to him and that it's important then he doesn't love you. Don't chase him.
georgiagirl76 Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 I am sorry that you took my comments to be offensive. I didn't mean them that way. If you read my post and read Art's post they really say the same thing. I was not doubting that your BC made you emotional I was merely doubting that they were 100% the cause of your emotional outbursts and that sometimes medications can bring out issues or emotions that were beneath the surface. You asked for help as to how to reach your ex- as with Art I was just trying to tell you that your ex would see the BC as an excuse and not be receptive to it. Also, if he didn't come back (which I hope he does) you would have a better understanding of some of the problems that contributed to the emotional outbreaks in case something in your future could cause it to happen again. As to my credentials, I don't think it is necessary to defend that to you- and again I apologize if I hurt your feelings or upset you. I was truly trying to help. Good luck.
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