Just lost 'The One'. Has anyone tips on coping? New member

[BLONDEANDBLUE73]

Im 46 and love of my life just dumped me. There is no way I can win the lottery twice. This man is everything I've ever wanted. I'm not sure how I can look forward to the future without him. He has made it clear its final but is himself hurting.would really love to connect with others in same position. Just want to feel strong again. And this pain is like open heart surgery without anaesthetic. Would love to hear replies and experiences

[d0nnivain]

You are in the throws of this. It just happened & the pain is acute. Everything looks bleak right now but that is typical.

 

Give yourself permission to grieve. You have to mourn the loss. Go ahead a wallow for a while but not forever. You can take a day or two if it's really bad but you still have to go to work. Then you begin the journey of healing.

[schlumpy]

Was this out of the blue or has it been building up to the finale?

[lonelyplanetmoon]

So sorry you are going through this.

46 must be the lonely number. You are the second 46 year old that posted about getting dumped that I have read today. And I am 46 and we broke up in June. I am a little ahead of you healing wise but I was in pretty bad shape the first month so I know exactly what you are going through. Every emotion just jamming through you 24/7. All I can say is that I worked really really hard at maintains NC and that is what has saved me.

Whenever I got a text from him, instead of engaging and pouring out my heart, I just did not respond. Sure I typed out the text replies, but I deleted and turned off my phone. That gave him the message to stay away.

 

It was no use to respond with my heart felt messages to someone who did not care to be with me anymore. That was hard to accept but it was and is the reality.

 

It also helps to work at letting them go and not desire reconciliation. I don’t want him back. I deserve way better.

 

Today I am actually happier than I have been in years. It does get better.

[preraph]

I'm so sorry you're hurting. It will take some time.

 

One thing you must realize, though, is that if he was all you ever wanted, he would have loved you back and wanted to stay, so he wasn't quite the right one.

[SumGuy]

Im 46 and love of my life just dumped me. There is no way I can win the lottery twice. This man is everything I've ever wanted. I'm not sure how I can look forward to the future without him. He has made it clear its final but is himself hurting.would really love to connect with others in same position. Just want to feel strong again. And this pain is like open heart surgery without anaesthetic. Would love to hear replies and experiences

I've been in the same position. Can say that you can win the lottery twice, or at least come close (the jury is still out on my situation) as it happened for me within a few years after getting divorced. (The love of my life that I lost was not my ex).

I've been told if you attracted a love of your life once then you have the character and nature to do so again. Finding that person can be hard, and could take years (as it did for me), but it can happen.

Can you share why he broke it off? When you say final, have you broken up before?

[Redhead14]

Sweetie, it's possible to hit the lottery more than once. I married my husband and he was wonderful. After 30 years we divorced. Even though we divorced, he was and is still a wonderful person and we had/have a nice family.

 

A few years later, I met another wonderful man and we were going to be married. He passed away 3 months before the wedding. I am now with another truly wonderful man for the past 5 years.

 

They were all different, yet wonderful in their own ways. Move on from this guy with an eye to the future and an open heart and mind. Take some time now and reclaim yourself. Then while you're busy doing that, you'll soon realize that you are ready for another lottery win.