Redguitar35 Posted September 2, 2019 Posted September 2, 2019 At least she let me know a few hours in advance instead of last minute like last time. This just isn’t working for me. No one is serious about online dating. I can’t even get these women to show up. I’ve got drinks with another gal scheduled for Saturday but maybe I am giving serious consideration to just cancel that one myself in advance and save myself the frustration. We all know that’s going to be another cancellation. I’m getting out of this online dating game. I don’t have any other means of meeting women since I work so many damn hours, but this is too frustrating and I’m tired as hell of having people waste my time.
mark clemson Posted September 2, 2019 Posted September 2, 2019 Why cancel? Sounds like the old "cutting off your nose to spite your face" expression to me. She may indeed cancel, but so what + if she doesn't you have a date. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Have a backup plan for any date you set up. Nice, sincere women can get colds etc (I'm not saying the 2 who cancelled were nice or not - I have no idea). Backup plan could include going around with friends (just tell them you might not be able to make it), meetup.com meetup scheduled AFTER the date so you can cancel the meetup, hit a bar or club (or other venue where you might possibly meet an interesting woman), or anything else you can think of... I'm not dating but I keep hearing people lament OLD for it's various problems, so I'm not suggesting you stick with it. 3
smackie9 Posted September 2, 2019 Posted September 2, 2019 I agree stick with it, and like I said in your other thread, just line those dates up. Something gotta stick. 2
gaius Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 You could always put some more effort into it. Be more interesting and exciting, so these ladies look forward all week to seeing you in person. Instead of just being the Saturday night plan of last resort.
The Outlaw Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 Don't throw in the towel on this girl just because it's been thrown out on you. Stick with it. You never know. Hopefully, one day it will all be worth it.
alphamale Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 We all know that’s going to be another cancellation. no we don't she may cancel OR she may become the love of your life 2
basil67 Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 I'm sure there are some who are serious about online dating, but you're right that there are a lot who aren't. Everyone multi dating means that the odds of getting stood up for someone who's a bit more shiny are high. It's the true 'grass is greener' thing. Truth be told, if your hours are so long that you can't socialise, how are you going to date anyway? Perhaps you need to start with reducing your hours. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 You're picking these women - women who seemingly aren't that into you. True, people are getting flakier. But consider the qualities of these women, and adjust accordingly.
mortensorchid Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 Those women just weren't taking it seriously, someone out there will enough to not cancel on you. Will this person be your next relationship? Not sure, but it's worth trying. 1
basil67 Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 Back here you wrote about cancelling a first meet with a woman because she said upfront that she doesn't do first date sex. I think that the woman you did this to probably gave exactly the same grumble as you did just now. What goes around comes around. Especially in OLD. 4
I'veseenbetterlol Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 The key to online dating is to be talking to many people at the same time. When I 1st started, I had a lot frustrations because I was concentrating on one guy at a time. You don't have to lead the women on or treat them like crap, just have several at a time. This is how I met my current partner. I didn't feel bad about multi dating because I hadn't made a promise to anyone. A lot of women will cancel, just the nature of dating online and offline. 1
Cersei Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 So this is what happened to me: Went on a date with H and had a decent time. We talked right after and planned to meet up again but because he was going to be away on holidays it would be about a week and a half later. Was I going to wait around till he got back? Hell no! I keep on meeting other guys and ended up going ATVing with P. I had a blast and we seemed to really hit it off. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Well H stays in touch via text while away and Fri rolls around. (The night of planned date) I really, really wanted to cancel but I said I would go so I went. During the date I was bored stiff and all I could think was if it were with P I would have been having so much more fun. I tried to not let my boredom show but I think it was obvious to him because I luckily did not hear from H again. I saw P again Sunday and it was so much better. Looking back I should have just cancelled and not gone out with H. I was not feeling it and I wasted both our times. Go if you want but don't self sabotage before you even really know her. 1
dramallama Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 So this is what happened to me: Went on a date with H and had a decent time. We talked right after and planned to meet up again but because he was going to be away on holidays it would be about a week and a half later. Was I going to wait around till he got back? Hell no! I keep on meeting other guys and ended up going ATVing with P. I had a blast and we seemed to really hit it off. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Well H stays in touch via text while away and Fri rolls around. (The night of planned date) I really, really wanted to cancel but I said I would go so I went. During the date I was bored stiff and all I could think was if it were with P I would have been having so much more fun. Looking back I should have just cancelled and not gone out with H. I was not feeling it and I wasted both our times. Go if you want but don't self sabotage before you even really know her. I'm in this EXACT SAME BOAT now. I met P and had one crazy fun date, then he went on holiday the next day. We provisionally lined up a meet on Monday (yesterday) but in the meantime I already had something planned with E which ended up getting rescheduled to Sunday. He seems the most serious prospect I have met in YEARS but we've only met once so I was going to meet up with P as planned, but then he was annoying and last minute in the guise of 'sponteneity' which was going to leave us too little time to bother so we've rainchecked and planned something in for later in the week, while I let things settle with E and see if he wants to meet again. I'm thinking I should just cancel P but it feels more difficult letting him down now than going on the date and just saying after that I don't think we're a match! I will be composing my text, never fear - I don't want to lead him on. 1
Fekenaws Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 My dude, I can't even begin to tell you how many L's I've taken on online dating. That's just the name of the game. I must've spent close to a grand all those sites by now since I started using them a few years ago. Just keep your chin on and keep rolling, you do eventually get dates 1
Cersei Posted September 4, 2019 Posted September 4, 2019 I'm in this EXACT SAME BOAT now. I met P and had one crazy fun date, then he went on holiday the next day. We provisionally lined up a meet on Monday (yesterday) but in the meantime I already had something planned with E which ended up getting rescheduled to Sunday. He seems the most serious prospect I have met in YEARS but we've only met once so I was going to meet up with P as planned, but then he was annoying and last minute in the guise of 'sponteneity' which was going to leave us too little time to bother so we've rainchecked and planned something in for later in the week, while I let things settle with E and see if he wants to meet again. I'm thinking I should just cancel P but it feels more difficult letting him down now than going on the date and just saying after that I don't think we're a match! I will be composing my text, never fear - I don't want to lead him on. One of my friends thinks that once a particular date really catches your eye or you had a lot of fun it will be very hard for anyone else to compare. I kind of agree. You get a taste of what is out there and see that there is no need to settle. But for the guys (like the OP) you can be following a difficult act. 1
Allupinnit Posted September 4, 2019 Posted September 4, 2019 Back here you wrote about cancelling a first meet with a woman because she said upfront that she doesn't do first date sex. I think that the woman you did this to probably gave exactly the same grumble as you did just now. What goes around comes around. Especially in OLD. Wow! OP do you still expect sex on the first date?? If these women are aware of that then maybe that's why they're canceling. I can't imagine a man I've never met expecting me to bone him on the first date. LOL. I mean, if we're both down and it happens organically that's one thing but to outright EXPECT it...? GTFO 2
dramallama Posted September 4, 2019 Posted September 4, 2019 One of my friends thinks that once a particular date really catches your eye or you had a lot of fun it will be very hard for anyone else to compare. I kind of agree. You get a taste of what is out there and see that there is no need to settle. But for the guys (like the OP) you can be following a difficult act. I think this is the crux of it for the OP - would you rather your date came out with you, already thinking about you as plan B, or just cancel and save you the time? 1
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