lynnered Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 has anybody read The Single Woman-Married Man Syndrome by Richard, M.D. Tuch Documenting the existence of this syndrome with case histories from inside and outside clinical practice, Dr. Tuch gives serious consideration to the complex dynamics involved and offers a framework to help patients struggling with their involvement in such affairs. A broader discussion of relations between men and women evolves and addresses such issues as men's dread of women; women's unique inclinations to employ masochistic adaptations in their relations with men; married couples' varied styles of dealing with their differences; the relationship of power and control to the processes of domination, submission, and the act of surrendering; and the development of the capacity to fall and remain in love. its 30$ dont want to buy it if its no good:p or The Other Woman's Guide to and from Infidelity: The Journal for Women in Affairs With Married Men by Elissa Gough This Affair is Over!! (Paperback) by Nanette Miner i used to read alot havent to much in past year,self help books i find interesting dont take it 100%to heart but i do find them helpful. just dont want to spend $$ if they are no good,has anybody read any of these book & were they helpful?
whatafool Posted October 25, 2005 Posted October 25, 2005 Hi Lynnered, finally got this book - it took about 6 weeks to get delivered. It is certainly worth the money - for the cost of only half an hour in therapy and I guarantee you will get more from it. It is an intellectual analysis of the SW/MM scenario which we all know follow surprisingly similar paths. In essence it says that the SW has masochistic tendancies whilst the MM has narcissistic tendancies, both stemming from difficulties in childhood and these two psycholigical stances carry out a grim emotional dance trying to achieve some disfunctional fulfillment. It really does answer a lot of questions that have not even been posed in this forum. I have not quite finished reading it, but am now up to possible solutions and am hoping to get some sound way forward, will keep you posted as to how helpful the help section is. But it has certainly been worth the money as the question we should all be asking ourselves is not why is he doing what he is doing, but why are we doing what we are doing - and it is scarey to read that we actually have a hell of a lot more power than we realise and engineer a lot of the agony we experience. I certainly can understand the whole thing a lot better now, and the futility of just saying that MM is a cakeman without understanding the real emotional turmoil that he as well as SW is in. The reason that these relationships are mainly totally doomed is that all MM suffer the agony of indecision about what to do that we discuss endlessly here, and on the rare occassion they choose SW he immediately loses his value to her as the main part of his attraction is that he is married to some one else, ie. Daddy. Real heavy duty stuff - don't get it if you are not prepared to plough through some heavy psychological speak - it it worth the effort though.
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