sweetbrokensoul Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 If anyone is interested in knowing my situation it is under Spirituality and religious beliefs under "what am I to doif anything?" But-its been a week and a half since my ex and I have talked. Its only been a couple days since I have text him. But I was only saying mean things anyway. I didnt want to, but I wanted him to know the pain and suffering I am in. He obviously didnt care-all he said was stop being hateful. Well, I've been doing alot of reading on coping with the loss of a love, break-ups, etc..Alot of the healing process calls for letting go of your anger and to not put too much on your plate or being too busy. I am well aware that I have anger about the situation; how can I not? I just don't know how someone can continue a relationship when they knew a child was involved and that I had trust issues and insecurities in the 1st place. He was well aware of this. I did not want to rush into things. I was scared. I felt threatened. For this exact reason. I had a feeling in my gut that we would not last. I dont know if that was just being pessimistic or what but I didnt want to be in this kind of pain again. It took me almost 4 years to get over the fact that my sons father was a loser and didnt want to have anything to do with us. I slowly started to become a happy single person. I was not looking for love and I didnt feel an emptiness in my life after I got over him. Then last year I met my ex ( the one I'm talking about now) and I explained to him why I was not looking for a relationship. It happened so fast. But like I said I had that feeling? Doomed from the beginning? I dont know.-But I still couldnt help falling in love with him. He made promises of a family and a future. I am angry! I now feel that emptiness and the insecurities and the mood swings. I used to be able to keep busy and be so content and things flowed smoothly-not now. I also feel at fault too. I feel overwhelmed with the simplest of things. How do I relax and not keep busy when i am a single mom? I go to school, work, and take care of my 6 yr. old. I am not close with my family. I have only a couple good friends. Keeping busy now is not healthy for me because I cant let go of my emotions when I need to sometimes. I cant concentrate in school and focus on work. How can I relax and let go of some of this anger? I'm so mad at him! For failing to realize he not only hurt me, he let down my child and it was very selfish. This healing process will take a long time!! I just dont want to be overly stressed- I feel myself getting better some days. Other days, I feel like shi-. I dont even think about me ever being with anybody else again! is this wrong? I dont even want guys approaching me. On the other hand, I don't want to end up a bitter old woman (like my mother) with noone to share a life with. HELP guys. thanks:confused:
Skeered Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Sounds like you are trying to conquer everything at once. First and foremost you are a mom. Secondly we deal with our relationship struggles. I can hear the pain in your words and I am so sorry that you are going through this but time heals all wounds. Take this as a lesson to not let go of your heart to quickly. Falling in love is wonderful but when not ready the ramifications can't be torture. You sound like you fell in love and gave him everything to hold, instead of resting in the fact that you needed to still stay strong and not totally trust everything. Keep up the NC, but do new things with your child, keep busy but not with just work and "important" stuff...let loose and refind YOURSELF. Let go of the anger because you holding on to it will only hurt your child and you in the end. There is life to be had, the hurt you feel will die away. One day at a time is all you can do right now. Start each day with a new attitude that you can only get happier and more content.
Recommended Posts