spiderowl Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 I can understand your disappointment, Redguitar. 30 minutes is really short notice and, I would say, rude. There are many genuine reasons why someone might cancel a date, mainly just not feeling up to it for some reason. We all have stressful days or days when we do not feel well. When that happens, it is best to reschedule, but to give plenty of notice and to definitely reschedule not just cancel. Having said that, I have usually kept dates. The only times I have not, is when I have felt pushed into meeting before I really feel I know enough about the guy. I have agreed that we could meet at that stage but not a specific date. Then the guy has pushed me or become more sexual via phone or text. At that point, I very quickly decide I am not going to meet this guy and tell him we should leave it. No specific date has been set so it has not reached the stage you mention, but I suppose he could claim I backed out of a date. In the circumstances I mentioned above, I backed out because the guy got 'pestery' and was pushing boundaries too soon. What started to feel like pressure to date before I knew much about him turned into him practically forcing a pre-date situation into a more sexual one. I know when guys do this, they are testing the waters a bit to see if you are interested in them that way, but it is really a big mistake before even meeting. Anyway, I only mention it because that is why I have backed out on a couple of occasions. A guy who keeps persisting with trying to get a response to sexual chat before a date can start to feel really creepy. I am sure that you would not have behaved like that Redguitar, so it's a real shame that your date was cancelled. It seems rude to back out of a definite date if a guy is being a gentleman.
alphamale Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 I had a date and got canceled on at the last minute. I mean, why bother when stuff like that is what happens? it's a good learning lesson for later life
dispatch3d Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 Basically how it works is women can cancel dates and it should roll off you, but a guy cancels a date look out. Or at least thats my perception. And yeah I usually just stop asking the flaker out the same as you. Why reschedule with them? Also I've had a ton of flakes from girls I knew beforehand, girls just flake rather than reject guys at least some percentage of the time.
Watercolors Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 (edited) I had a guy schedule a coffee date with me only to be a no show the morning we were supposed to meet. He had multiple excuses, none of which meant anything because he could have easily cancelled and rescheduled ahead of time with me, if he really wanted to see me. Was I upset? Yes, of course. Did I dwell on it? Not after i gave him a piece of my mind. Not saying you should do that with these OLD women since you don't know them. But, my point is: if they cancel like this, it's because they don't want to go out with you and don't care about your feelings. But, that doesn't reflect on you personally. You have to be patient and keep trying. Eventually, you will meet a woman who wants to date you. But if you give up because some OLD woman cancelled her first date with you at the last minute, and take it personally, then you are putting your self worth in strangers hands. Don't do that. Know your value. The wrong women will not see your value, but the right women will. Plus, OLD itself is a numbers game so you have to sift through a LOT of OLD profiles, get cancelled on, ghosted on, before you meet women OLD who respect you and appreciate your value and who enjoy your company. Basically, don't let one person's actions dictate how you feel about yourself. Esp. OLD people. Edited September 1, 2019 by Watercolors 1
Ruby Slippers Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 I’m just gonna stay home and complain lol, but thanks. I honestly don’t think any of that other stuff is going to work much better than online dating has. Me, too! Well, I don't complain... just make my own fun. Sometimes ya just gotta do you! Yesterday this weird guy I declined meeting from a dating app last year texted me. He clearly isn't boyfriend material and I'm not and never was interested. I tried to let him down easy - hey, at least I was nice enough to answer - and he told me i have a bleak world view Because I'm happier single than having a mediocre relationship with a whiny baby like him? Yeah, ok, dude.
Maggiemay1 Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 I had a date and got canceled on at the last minute. I mean, why bother when stuff like that is what happens? Well you don’t seem to be cut out for a relationship anyway. Within a relationship there are disappointments and let downs. It’s how people process and deal with them is what will make or break a couple. You are a quitter. And that’s fine.
salparadise Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 Well you don’t seem to be cut out for a relationship anyway. [...] You are a quitter. And that’s fine. Give the guy a break, will ya? He made the effort and followed through, only to have some rude, entitled piece-of-work cancel last minute. Then he comes here and openly shares how discouraged it makes him feel and has to deal with another rude, entitled [choose a noun] judging and name calling. Pffft. 1
Maggiemay1 Posted September 2, 2019 Posted September 2, 2019 Give the guy a break, will ya? He made the effort and followed through, only to have some rude, entitled piece-of-work cancel last minute. Then he comes here and openly shares how discouraged it makes him feel and has to deal with another rude, entitled [choose a noun] judging and name calling. Pffft. His question was why do people flake and he has been given numerous reasons from people on here as to why. I agreed the girl was rude to only give 30 minutes notice but in fairness there are many who are no shows with no cancellation. As to her reason no one can possibly know but you have decided it’s because she is self entitled. Perhaps she is new to online dating and has anxiety surrounding it. He is quitting online dating because of it , I wasn’t name calling to point that out. Rather, it’s you who is name calling here based on assumptions only. The OP did not invest much time into this meet , just a couple days chat. It’s not a huge disappointment more like a small inconvenience. But his reaction to it surmounts that. That was my point. He needs to get back on the horse. Call it reverse psychology if you wish.
SumGuy Posted September 2, 2019 Posted September 2, 2019 I’m just gonna stay home and complain lol, but thanks. I honestly don’t think any of that other stuff is going to work much better than online dating has. If that is your attitude you can easily make it a reality. Nice thing about "can't do" prophecies, they always come true. I will say that if one is suffering from anxiety, depression, etc. all this advice is for naught. Being in these mental states is not the suffer's fault any more than the flu, one can't just "buck up." One should focus on improving ones mental health, as you would if you had the flu, and it should have no more stigma than that.
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