Redguitar35 Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 (edited) Had been talking to this girl for a couple days and had this date planned. We were going to meet at a public place for drinks. Then like flakes usually do, I get a text thirty minutes before we’re supposed to meet that she doesn’t feel up to it and we should reschedule. I just said sure sounds good and left it at that. I don’t expect to hear from her again and will probably unmatch her shortly and then delete the dating app, I’m tired of these flakey people online. I never meet any women online who will stick to plans. Question is, why do people cancel at the last minute? Edited August 31, 2019 by Redguitar35
Ami1uwant Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 It’s happened to me..not all of thrm flaky Some reasons thst could be legit 1 work 2 sick kids, sitter cancelled 3. Not feeling well 4 actual sh.t happens like car break down Thry could bail because they didn’t feel it, something better messaged them, etc. I give them the benefit of the doubt but the ball is in their court.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Insecurity that they won't be good enough Anxiety over meeting someone new Lost interest Had a long week and just feel like staying home Had a better offer PMS Had a fight with someone Bad hair day Feeling depressed or irritable Realized they were just on the rebound Dealing with personal drama Genuinely feeling unwell Whatever the reason, waiting until 30 minutes before the date is incredibly rude and disrespectful. I wouldn't offer to reschedule with someone who did this. 1
Highndry Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Insecurity that they won't be good enough Anxiety over meeting someone new Lost interest Had a long week and just feel like staying home Had a better offer PMS Had a fight with someone Bad hair day Feeling depressed or irritable Realized they were just on the rebound Dealing with personal drama Genuinely feeling unwell Whatever the reason, waiting until 30 minutes before the date is incredibly rude and disrespectful. I wouldn't offer to reschedule with someone who did this. Haha. The bolded is a little ridic, if you ask me.
Maggiemay1 Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 30 minutes is a bit rude but maybe not if it was scheduled for 30 minutes after you leave work? I cancelled an online date once because I had a pimple lol I did reschedule and ended up dating the guy for about 8 months. I have also cancelled online dates for no reason and didn’t reschedule. Because on a Wednesday , I arranged the date for a Friday night for example and once I got home from work Friday , I simply didn’t feel like making the effort to get dressed up to meet a random stranger and the effort that entails , when all I felt like doing at that moment was get in my pjs , hang with my dog and watch tv! She as she said just wasn’t feeling up to it. And no she likely won’t contact you again unless her reason was a legit one like she had a bad pimple lol
alphamale Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Question is, why do people cancel at the last minute? because meeting you is not a high priority?? 4
crispytoast Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 At least she told you. Don't let it get to you. Keep your head up and keep doing life. 2
fromheart Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 A date is an interview in many ways. Did she pass the interview? Has her behaviour enticed you to invest your precious time and money? No. She's therefore off your list forever. Don't be someone elses choice, take back your own power. Flaky behaviour deserves no more attention. I say this all the time to men who wonder why the date was cancelled, or why she gave the cheek. As long as you've been a gentleman, there's nothing to be too concerned about. Next. Sure, maybe you need to work on yourself a bit, who doesn't. But self work is also rejecting those who are not worthy of your time. 1
Watercolors Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Its online dating. Flakes abound. Bottom line: you'll never know the *exact* reason a woman cancels a date w/you at the last minute. But it's rude of her to do that. Means she doesn't view you as a priority. Just delete her and move onward into the dating abyss that online dating is, hoping for a match. Or, stop OLD and try it old school by joining meetups etc.. where you can meet women you have something in common with already via the group you join. 2
schlumpy Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 It could be that her husband or boyfriend blew the date up with a last minute dinner she didn't know about. You just never know on OLD.
kendahke Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Question is, why do people cancel at the last minute? Because they can. I mean, what can you do about it? Nothing. I've had a first meeting where I was at the coffeeshop HE chose which was near him and no where near where I lived and I get a text 1/2 hour past the time he was supposed to be there that he "had to work overtime". All day, he'd been knowing he would be working a longer day that day (he said so in a subsequent conversation) and instead of calling earlier in the day to reschedule, he just flaked. And we're talking about a 64 year old man. When they feel they have no tangible skin in the game, you and your profile are expendable til they find a use for you. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Sorry that happened to you. It was very rude. I think about 1% of online daters are dateable. It eliminates a lot of frustration to go into it aware of that. 3
Geraltt Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Question is, why do people cancel at the last minute? Because they haven't got anything invested, and they're flakes. Can't stick to a decision. Aren't you glad you know this now about this girl, rather than six months or longer down the road?
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Who cares, you should have a few women lined up to ask out. Try having another date planned with someone else after the meet up.
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 31, 2019 Author Posted August 31, 2019 Who cares, you should have a few women lined up to ask out. Try having another date planned with someone else after the meet up. Yeah, so that one can flake too right? I don’t m ow about the rest of you, but I really don’t get that much attention on these apps. And the ones that do schedule a date flake like this one. Might as well give up and find a hobby that doesn’t involve meeting other people.
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 31, 2019 Author Posted August 31, 2019 Its online dating. Flakes abound. Bottom line: you'll never know the *exact* reason a woman cancels a date w/you at the last minute. But it's rude of her to do that. Means she doesn't view you as a priority. Just delete her and move onward into the dating abyss that online dating is, hoping for a match. Or, stop OLD and try it old school by joining meetups etc.. where you can meet women you have something in common with already via the group you join. I don’t like joining groups.
Watercolors Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 I don’t like joining groups. So, how's your social network? Ask your friends to ask their friends to set you up on blind dates. You have a better chance of a blind date set up by a friend turning into something substantial than you do paying a monthly fee to a dating website that spams its own site with ghost (i.e. fake) profiles to keep people as members. That's fine if you don't like to join groups. But there's no way you'll ever know why a woman personally cancels her date w/you last minute unless you ask her. And, why ask? Why the need to know? If someone cancels on me, or no shows on me, that tells me that my time and company wasn't of interest or much of a priority to them. So, I move on. I don't dwell on the "why" they rejected/shunned me. There's no point doing that. 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 31, 2019 Author Posted August 31, 2019 So, how's your social network? Ask your friends to ask their friends to set you up on blind dates. You have a better chance of a blind date set up by a friend turning into something substantial than you do paying a monthly fee to a dating website that spams its own site with ghost (i.e. fake) profiles to keep people as members. Guess I’m out of luck then because I don’t have much of a social circle.Thats why I turned to online dating in the first place. Besides I wouldn’t want to date friends of friends, that would just get awkward if things didn’t work out.
alphamale Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Besides I wouldn’t want to date friends of friends, that would just get awkward if things didn’t work out. dude, people understand if things don't work it out. when meeting friends of friends we just keep is slow, respectable and casual. if you don't like each other after a couple dates no one is going to say anything to you. jeez 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 31, 2019 Author Posted August 31, 2019 dude, people understand if things don't work it out. when meeting friends of friends we just keep is slow, respectable and casual. if you don't like each other after a couple dates no one is going to say anything to you. jeez Well, in any case, like I said, that’s not an option for me.
Geraltt Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 You're kind of boxing yourself in here, redguitar. You don't like dating apps.You don't like joining groups.You won't date friends-of-friends. Starting to see an issue here? I'm not saying that you have to completely change your personality and become Mr Joe Gregarious immediately, but you might consider, just for a little while, an attempt at being just a tiny bit more social. Try it for a limited time, say, 30 days. Set yourself a goal that, for 30 days, you're going to go out with friends/work mates/acquaintances twice per week. Or join a club about something you're interested in. Take a night class on something that you find intriguing. Just for 30 days. After that, give yourself permission to quit. Or you can stay at home and complain. Choice, as always, is yours. 2
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 31, 2019 Author Posted August 31, 2019 You're kind of boxing yourself in here, redguitar. You don't like dating apps.You don't like joining groups.You won't date friends-of-friends. Starting to see an issue here? I'm not saying that you have to completely change your personality and become Mr Joe Gregarious immediately, but you might consider, just for a little while, an attempt at being just a tiny bit more social. Try it for a limited time, say, 30 days. Set yourself a goal that, for 30 days, you're going to go out with friends/work mates/acquaintances twice per week. Or join a club about something you're interested in. Take a night class on something that you find intriguing. Just for 30 days. After that, give yourself permission to quit. Or you can stay at home and complain. Choice, as always, is yours. I’m just gonna stay home and complain lol, but thanks. I honestly don’t think any of that other stuff is going to work much better than online dating has.
preraph Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 You are literally looking for excuses not to have to date. 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted August 31, 2019 Author Posted August 31, 2019 You are literally looking for excuses not to have to date. I had a date and got canceled on at the last minute. I mean, why bother when stuff like that is what happens?
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