Jesstada Posted August 30, 2019 Posted August 30, 2019 I met this guy online that I've been talking to for almost 3 weeks and finally hung out today. We talked a lot almost non stop and always have something to say. But both of us got caught up with our own life and finally got to hang out. We don't really flirt much when talking online, just a very tiny bit. The date went well, we still have lots to talk about but I'm just not sure if I am friend-zoned. We were talking about what's going on with our own life and he casually said that "I should start seeing someone again" which was a huge question mark for me, could be also just over analyzing tho. Later on, he was talking about some challenges he was facing, I said something encouraging and put my hand on his knee, he quickly put his hand on my hand but it all felt kinda platonic to me.. Idk, but then he put his hand on my knee about 30 min later as well when we are talking about something else. He said he was pretty nervous before seeing me too.. That's about all the signs I got here. Thoughts?
Cersei Posted August 30, 2019 Posted August 30, 2019 I think he could have been hinting interest in you with his "should see someone" comment but not being there to see his expression it's hard to say. If he put his hand on yours I think he is interested. See him some more and see how it goes.
Maddie82 Posted August 30, 2019 Posted August 30, 2019 He was actually hinting that 'someone' meant him. He wants you to start seeing each other. You took it all the wrong way. No friend zone, don't worry
Maggiemay1 Posted August 30, 2019 Posted August 30, 2019 We were talking about what's going on with our own life and he casually said that "I should start seeing someone again" which was a huge question mark for me, could be also just over analyzing tho. Later on, he was talking about some challenges he was facing, I said something encouraging and put my hand on his knee, he quickly put his hand on my hand but it all felt kinda platonic to me.. Idk, but then he put his hand on my knee about 30 min later as well when we are talking about something else. He said he was pretty nervous before seeing me too.. That's about all the signs I got here. Thoughts? Why are you assuming that “someone” means someone else and not you? And why do you assume the hand on knee was platonic? Was it platonic from you? Or was it flirtatious from you?
smackie9 Posted August 30, 2019 Posted August 30, 2019 He hasn't ask you out again has he.....is he still texting you? 1
Watercolors Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 The date went well, we still have lots to talk about but I'm just not sure if I am friend-zoned. We were talking about what's going on with our own life and he casually said that "I should start seeing someone again" which was a huge question mark for me, could be also just over analyzing tho. Thoughts? That's a weird thing for him to say out loud in front of an OLD on a first date. It's detached and dismissive of the fact that you're sitting next to him. Like, he's thinking this to himself out loud, "I should start seeing someone again." I think it was rude for him to say that. Not a good sign. I mean, if he was attracted to you and wanted to see you again, that would be the last thing he would say out loud to you. I think he was trying to distance himself from you without directly saying to you that he's not interested in a second date. What a wimp. I hate guys like him. Very emotionally immature. So, yes, I think he friend-zoned you by doing that. If you got a "friend" vibe from him, trust your gut. The gut's always right. I wouldn't put any more effort into this OLD guy. Plus, you only had 1 date. I'd be shocked if he reached out to you again for a second date, after such an odd comment. Did he ask you out for a second date at the end of your first date? If not, I wouldn't count on hearing from him again anyway. In OLD, if a second date isn't secured by the end of the night on the first date, then a second date just isn't happening. Do you have any other OLD guys you're chatting with?
Watercolors Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 Why are you assuming that “someone” means someone else and not you? And why do you assume the hand on knee was platonic? Was it platonic from you? Or was it flirtatious from you? Because men who say things like that are emotionally immature wimps. Have you EVER been on a date with a guy who said that out loud, then asked you out again and it led to a significantly long relationship? Neither have I, because that just doesn't happen. The guy's a douche bag.
CollinW Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 Because men who say things like that are emotionally immature wimps. Have you EVER been on a date with a guy who said that out loud, then asked you out again and it led to a significantly long relationship? Neither have I, because that just doesn't happen. The guy's a douche bag. Goodness woman you need a chill pill. I'm not sure how hinting that she should start dating romantically again equates to being emotionally immature. If anything what's emotionally immature is not clarifying in person what his intentions are and sitting back assuming things on an internet forum. 2
Lotsgoingon Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 That's a weird thing for him to say out loud in front of an OLD on a first date. It's detached and dismissive of the fact that you're sitting next to him. Like, he's thinking this to himself out loud, "I should start seeing someone again." I think it was rude for him to say that. Not a good sign. I mean, if he was attracted to you and wanted to see you again, that would be the last thing he would say out loud to you. I think he was trying to distance himself from you without directly saying to you that he's not interested in a second date. What a wimp. I hate guys like him. Very emotionally immature. So, yes, I think he friend-zoned you by doing that. If you got a "friend" vibe from him, trust your gut. The gut's always right. I wouldn't put any more effort into this OLD guy. Plus, you only had 1 date. I'd be shocked if he reached out to you again for a second date, after such an odd comment. Did he ask you out for a second date at the end of your first date? If not, I wouldn't count on hearing from him again anyway. In OLD, if a second date isn't secured by the end of the night on the first date, then a second date just isn't happening. Do you have any other OLD guys you're chatting with? Totally agree with Watercolors! His statement about "seeing someone" was so inept, so wimpy, so evasive, so unclear, so manipulatively vague--that it stands as a flaming red flag. My view ... 99 percent of the time ... if you have to ask if someone is interested, then the answer is no. If he can't communicate clear interest, then this isn't going to go anywhere (even if he is interested). 1
stillafool Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 (edited) If anything what's emotionally immature is not clarifying in person what his intentions are and sitting back assuming things on an internet forum. I agree. OP should have asked him what his intentions were instead of guessing and asking a forum. Did you guys see true pictures of each other before the date? I don't think it makes this guy a jerk if after he met OP he wasn't interested in going further. Isn't that what meeting someone is all about - to see if you want to go further. Edited September 1, 2019 by stillafool
smackie9 Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 It all makes sense now why he was a little platonic since the beginning....you just broke-up with your BF (AUG 6 ish) a 2 year relationship. You need to slow your expectations down, and give it a rest. You are not going to find someone to replace your BF after 3 weeks of talking to some guy. Everyone seems to be bashing this guy when they should be taking a better look at the OP and see her true colours.
Watercolors Posted September 1, 2019 Posted September 1, 2019 Wait...so the OP just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years and is out there dating again? After only 3 weeks since her breakup? OP, why are you dating when you just ended a long relationship? So you can rebound? You need to stop and get over your 2 year relationship first. Taken in that context, it makes sense to me that the guy would keep you at bay with his comment about seeing someone (i.e. not you). But, in general, his comment would be correctly interpreted as evasive, even manipulative...to avoid rejecting the woman he was on a date with, saying out loud "I really should start seeing someone again." 1
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