twatwa123 Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 So I started talking to a girl on pof. We decided to meet for a date, this was meant to be this coming Monday. However last Monday I randomly messaged her and said did you want it tonight, so she agreed, we met, had a great time, she said she’d never had a date last this long, and she said she had a lovely time afterwards. We were already talking about the second date during the first So our second date was going to be this coming Monday, as that was going to originally be the day of our first. I asked her a question about Monday (confirmation of what we were doing) and she said that she’d forgotten to tell me that she’d put in for over time at work. Now I’m all for giving people the benefit of doubt, but she has also been very quiet on WhatsApp, and isn’t really messaging much (not that there was too many messages to begin with) and she never seems to respond to any messages in any hurry (the last message I sent her was asking her if and when she’d be free next if she can’t do me Monday) and that’s been read for hours. She’s got plenty of time to be “active” on Facebook messenger though. My guy is telling me something isn’t right, but I’m going to give her the benefit of doubt and wait a while to see if she responds, if I her nothing soon then I’m just going to assume she doesn’t want to date me anymore, even though she says she wants the 2nd date. Am I doing the right thing here or do I just cut my loses nd date someone else?
DaddyDom Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 (edited) This is just my opinion. But I think your lack of decisiveness turned her off. You never seem to lead or take charge at all. Always asking her permission basically. Take the second date. You contact her to ask her what you're doing? This doesn't make you seem like you have confidence or that you know what you want. You should have already had clear cut plans. I think that's why she flaked out on you and why you're not getting a second date. A lot of women don't want to lead a relationship and make all the decisions. Chalk it up to a learning experience and try to be more masculine/decisive in the future. Edited August 24, 2019 by DaddyDom
Author twatwa123 Posted August 24, 2019 Author Posted August 24, 2019 This is just my opinion. But I think your lack of decisiveness turned her off. You never seem to lead or take charge at all. Always asking her permission basically. Take the second date. You contact her to ask her what you're doing? This doesn't make you seem like you have confidence or that you know what you want. You should have already had clear cut plans. I think that's why she flaked out on you and why you're not getting a second date. A lot of women don't want to lead a relationship and make all the decisions. Chalk it up to a learning experience and try to be more masculine/decisive in the future. Ok. The first date was on me, we went for dinner paid by me, then a walk. Second date, was really gonna be her idea, we were going to go on a boat, and I wasn’t sure where she had in mind for that, that’s all I was asking. She said she might have to rain check....
Wanderlust2018 Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 I wouldn’t ask again and just go silent. And to answer your question, should you go on other dates!?!? Absolutely! Always have a backup plan, I mean, you’re only one date in and she is sounding a bit flakey. I have a date lined up for Tuesday, and working on a second, with someone different, another evening this coming week as well. Even if the first goes good, I’ll still go on the other one with the second woman. That’s the name of the game... 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 I give her the benefit of the doubt here. Thinks like this can happen.
spiderowl Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 She sounds a bit flakey to me too. She was interested at first, then it fizzled out. If she had been looking forward to a date with you, she would not have booked to do overtime. She would also have kept in touch and replied within a reasonable time. I would not push her any further. If she does not respond with a date or suggestion of when, then I would forget about her. It sounds to me like she lost interest.
Maggiemay1 Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 Now I’m all for giving people the benefit of doubt, but she has also been very quiet on WhatsApp, and isn’t really messaging much (not that there was too many messages to begin with) and she never seems to respond to any messages in any hurry (the last message I sent her was asking her if and when she’d be free next if she can’t do me Monday) and that’s been read for hours. She’s got plenty of time to be “active” on Facebook messenger though. Why are you even checking her Facebook activity? She could very well be waiting until she figures out her work schedule to respond to your question! Which might be Monday before she knows!? You should be dating others until you become exclusive with someone. Keep busy and stop checking her online activity. It’s also far too soon to be fb friends! Only add people when you are exclusively dating , where’s the mystery?
Author twatwa123 Posted August 25, 2019 Author Posted August 25, 2019 I wouldn’t ask again and just go silent. And to answer your question, should you go on other dates!?!? Absolutely! Always have a backup plan, I mean, you’re only one date in and she is sounding a bit flakey. I have a date lined up for Tuesday, and working on a second, with someone different, another evening this coming week as well. Even if the first goes good, I’ll still go on the other one with the second woman. That’s the name of the game... Dating multiple women at once? Nah that’s not my thing, plus it’s hsrd for me to get one date lol
Author twatwa123 Posted August 25, 2019 Author Posted August 25, 2019 (edited) Why are you even checking her Facebook activity? She could very well be waiting until she figures out her work schedule to respond to your question! Which might be Monday before she knows!? You should be dating others until you become exclusive with someone. Keep busy and stop checking her online activity. It’s also far too soon to be fb friends! Only add people when you are exclusively dating , where’s the mystery? It’s facebook messenger and I have her number in my contacts so i guess she shows up there. She should at least acknowledge my message instead of just reading then ignoring it. She should also be talking to me on text a little bit, if not it’s like she’s not interested I’m not into dating multiple women at once, it’s hard enough getting one date lol Edited August 25, 2019 by twatwa123
Watercolors Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 If she hasn't responded to your attempts to reach out to her, then yeah, I think she "ghosted" you which is immature but some adults act like that when they lose interest in someone they met. I'd forget about her at this point. She's showing you she's not interested in any more dates by her actions. The whole "oh, I forgot I have to work over time on Monday" is just an excuse. IF she really wanted a 2nd date with you, she would have suggested an alternative night that she supposedly wasn't working. Or, you could have suggested an alternative night after she told you she was working over time. Since you aren't a multi-dater, just close the door on her and start over. I don't miss OLD but that's what I would do -- start over with a new person -- if this kind of rejection happened to me.
Author twatwa123 Posted August 25, 2019 Author Posted August 25, 2019 If she hasn't responded to your attempts to reach out to her, then yeah, I think she "ghosted" you which is immature but some adults act like that when they lose interest in someone they met. I'd forget about her at this point. She's showing you she's not interested in any more dates by her actions. The whole "oh, I forgot I have to work over time on Monday" is just an excuse. IF she really wanted a 2nd date with you, she would have suggested an alternative night that she supposedly wasn't working. Or, you could have suggested an alternative night after she told you she was working over time. Since you aren't a multi-dater, just close the door on her and start over. I don't miss OLD but that's what I would do -- start over with a new person -- if this kind of rejection happened to me. Absolutely. I have deleted her number from my phone. Not going tobother with her any more Shame since she said she had a great time and was planning date 2 during the first, but I suppose its good that she's ghosting me after 1 date, rather than it happening when we're 6 months into a relationship
Watercolors Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 Absolutely. I have deleted her number from my phone. Not going tobother with her any more Shame since she said she had a great time and was planning date 2 during the first, but I suppose its good that she's ghosting me after 1 date, rather than it happening when we're 6 months into a relationship Good that you deleted her phone number. And yes, better to find out now that she's not interested than later. It's disappointing, but that's the downside of the dating game. Eliminating the wrong people is a process, but it's a necessary one, if you want to be happy with the right person. Never settle.
Maggiemay1 Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 It’s facebook messenger and I have her number in my contacts so i guess she shows up there. She should at least acknowledge my message instead of just reading then ignoring it. She should also be talking to me on text a little bit, if not it’s like she’s not interested. l No!!!! You can’t see her online messenger status unless connected on there. Phone contacts (not messenger contacts) will not ever show their status. You think she “should” acknowledge your message? Sorry but your morals are yours and anothers are theirs. She “should” be talking to you? Again your morals not hers. Or it might not even be about morals? SHE owes you nothing. Why do you believe she should behave in a way you think is appropriate? If you don’t like her behaviour , then don’t have anything to do with her? Your reply is a bit scary tbh.
smackie9 Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 It's all about perception..sure she seemed keen on your date, seemed to enjoy herself, but that never guarantees more dates. People also lie to pasify their date, knowing they may not be another one. meh people do this because they don't like rejecting people. A lot of people don't take it well, and send multiple threatening messages, etc...so they avoid that. So next time, if they don't reciprocate, block delete and move on. Pushing for answers, not wanting to let go and all that is simply a waste of energy.
Wanderlust2018 Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 (edited) Dating multiple women at once? Nah that’s not my thing, plus it’s hsrd for me to get one date lol Well, therein is potentially part of your problem... These are first dates, each/both of them. Why wouldn’t I set up more than one? You mean to tell me that just because you’re interacting with a woman via OLD, and set a date with her, you don’t set any others with other women!?!? Thanks for that intel...it helps guys like me know how the OLD competition (men like you) operate. Good to know! Increases my chances and makes my quest to find someone easier. What’s with the time issue? I’m a senior level executive, work upwards of 12 or more hours a day and am pretty much “on call” to my team 24/7 with a heady commute most days. I still manage to make it to the gym 5-6 days a week, spend time with my kids and family...and set and go on dates. Perhaps you’re focusing your time on the wrong things or areas. From your posts, you apparently have or had plenty of time to be fixated on and checking her FB messenger status... Looking forward to the two “first” dates I have this week. Edited August 26, 2019 by Wanderlust2018 Additional content 1
smackie9 Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 Isn't that what they call putting all your eggs into one basket?
Maggiemay1 Posted August 27, 2019 Posted August 27, 2019 What’s with the time issue? I’m a senior level executive, work upwards of 12 or more hours a day and am pretty much “on call” to my team 24/7 with a heady commute most days. I still manage to make it to the gym 5-6 days a week, spend time with my kids and family...and set and go on dates. Perhaps you’re focusing your time on the wrong things or areas. From your posts, you apparently have or had plenty of time to be fixated on and checking her FB messenger status... Looking forward to the two “first” dates I have this week. I didn’t read where the op said there was a time issue? But perhaps he’s a shift worker and works unsocial hours? But you have made me wonder how a senior exec does find time to online date? If you work 7am - 7pm plus an hour at the gym I’m guessing Monday - Friday ,then weekday “dates” are pretty much out. When do you see your kids? And when do you browse online? At work? Are your dates lunchtime dates? And do you make time for friends and hobbies? Genuine question!! Having time to make quick one off dates is not the same as having time to be in a successful relationship. 1
Mila_Levi Posted September 2, 2019 Posted September 2, 2019 Victoria Hearts is a well-known dating site for loners looking to find a future wife/husband. If you want to learn more about this site read these victoria hearts reviews and users feedback.
OatsAndHall Posted September 2, 2019 Posted September 2, 2019 I -might- send a second message/text if they don't respond to my last one. But, I just tend to go dark and move on, more often than not. If they get back to me the great; I try to plan a date. If not, I just stop messaging them as it's a sure way to turn a woman off. Hell, as a guy, I get annoyed when I'm bombarded with messages.
justwhoiam Posted September 9, 2019 Posted September 9, 2019 We decided to meet for a date, this was meant to be this coming Monday. However last Monday I randomly messaged her and said did you want it tonight, so she agreed, we met, had a great time, she said she’d never had a date last this long, and she said she had a lovely time afterwards. We were already talking about the second date during the first So our second date was going to be this coming Monday, as that was going to originally be the day of our first. Actually, I don't understand that. I can understand setting up a first date on a Monday... no big deal. But if you really like the person, wouldn't you want to see her in the weekend? I'd be upset if someone asked me out only on Mondays... I guess I don't understand new generations...
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