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Mutli-dating... to go on 2nd date with Mr Normal?

dramallama

By dramallama
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dramallama Established Member

dramallama

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hello again,

 

 

I went on a date with a really nice, 'normal' guy (B) and we've got a second date set up next Weds. His texting is regular but not pesky, we seem to get on, but deep down I have reservations about our compatability - the best way to characterise it is to say I'm a cat and he's a timid puppy, if that makes sense to anyone else.

 

 

 

And then on Thurs I started a conversation with someone (Q) I matched with weeks ago but didn't speak to, and thanks in part to him getting on a plane the next day we set up a meeting that day (I NEVER do this, I screen for 2-3 days usually) and had the kind of date that will either be the beginning of a great love story or an anecdote about 'do you remember that freak'. It started with a little picnic at the edge of a lake he'd cobbled together with 30 mins notice and was a date in many chapters over 10 hours and loads of fun. He asked me to be exclusive as we parted - and I dodged it with some weasel words :o TOO SOON. And possible flag.

 

 

 

I am usually most attracted to the emotionally unavailable sort like the FWB I posted about last time, however can see I could be in danger of letting someone like Q sweep me off my feet for the sheer romance of it all.

 

 

Do I cancel the second date with B, or go, assuming that the dust will have settled on the excitement of a crazy date with Q and it'll be a good decider?

Edited by dramallama
Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

Posted
Posted

Asked you to be exclusive...on the first day you met..?

 

That's as big red flag as there could possibly be.

Gretchen12 Established Member

Gretchen12

Posted
Posted

If you cancel, B will have dodged a bullet. So go ahead and cancel but just be honest. Just tell him you met someone else.

 

You know how hard it is to find normal? So many people online have erratic behavior because their minds are full of fears and tricks.

 

So normal is good. What you have here is incompatibility. You're attracted to the emotionally unavailable. You have to go down your path in life.

  • Like 1
Watercolors Established Member

Watercolors

Posted
Posted (edited)

Guy B - normal until proven otherwise.

 

Guy Q - pilot of the narcissistic lovebomber airlines. Asked you to be exclusive after that 10 hour date? Um, no. Red flag. RUN. Run like the wind.

 

First dates that exceed 2 hours are usually done with the intent of a hookup as that date's conclusion.

 

And stop chasing after emotionally unavailable men. Figure out what the draw is for you so that you can pursue healthy relationships with men who reciprocate at a more normal pace.

 

FYI: timid puppy-types are safer than lovebombing pilots. I think what we have here is a real dilemma: you are attracted to bad boys and easily bored by nice guys?

Edited by Watercolors
  • Like 4
Watercolors Established Member

Watercolors

Posted
Posted

If you don't like nice, normal guys like Guy B, then spare him the heartbreak and cancel the 2nd date now.

 

And if you like rollercoaster rides full of emotional drama and heartache, dive in headfirst with Guy Q. Sounds like that's your plan anyway?

  • Like 3
DaddyDom Established Member

DaddyDom

Posted
Posted

For me personally I know if I am attracted to a woman on a basic level pretty quickly into the first date. Obvioulsy I don't know if she is relationship material, etc.. But you know when initial chemistry is there.

 

So if you didn't feel an urge to have sex with panties wet after the first date, don't waste your time. I know some people say "A person can grow on you." But I call BS.

 

**But a guy wanting exclusivity ASAP like #2 is not a great sign either. LMAO I say cut both guys loose and go back to the drawing board.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

This is the problem with women getting heartbroken, they are always chasing emotionally unavailable bad boys who only want them for a time and on to the next. Then they complain about getting hurt.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

Don't choose either one of them. Date both for as long as you care to. Red flag the guy already asked you to be exclusive. Don't feel weird about saying, We just met, so no thanks.

 

The other guy, see if he opens up any before you give up on him. I know he's boring, but maybe there's hidden facets.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted

cancel future dates with both these clowns and go back to Mr. FWB

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