rejected1 Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 My boyfriend and I have been dating since November and became exclusive on New Year's Eve. We are serious, talking about moving in together in the new year. We both want marriage and children in the future. He has met my family and me his. But the question is we are planning a two week trip for October and I really want to go out of the country like somewhere like Cuba or Mexico at a resort. But my friends think its too soon in my relationship to go out of the country and that I should try to plan something like Las Vegas. What are your thoughts?
Flame Aura Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 Too soon to go out of the country? What planet do your friends live on? If anything it's been too long! 8 months and no trip abroad? What are you waiting for? Book the holiday to wherever you want and stop listening to your friends.
Author rejected1 Posted August 24, 2019 Author Posted August 24, 2019 I think after my relationship with my ex, they told me they think I may be rushing things. But my ex dumped me in April last year.
Gretchen12 Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 You learn something about the person when you travel together, especially to a country neither of you have been to before. You will see how he is when things don't go as planned, and how he solves problems. When people are in unfamiliar territories, they can't be on daily auto pilot. Then you'll see.
Wanderlust2018 Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 You learn something about the person when you travel together, especially to a country neither of you have been to before. You will see how he is when things don't go as planned, and how he solves problems. When people are in unfamiliar territories, they can't be on daily auto pilot. Then you'll see. Yes to this above and yes, hate to sound judge-mental, but your friends are flat out wrong.
Maggiemay1 Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 You have odd friends. But they know you better than we do. An overseas trip is fine but moving in together even in the new year is too soon for most. Wait until you have done 3 or 4 holidays away until you make that decision!
Noproblem Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 Too soon to move out of the country with someone you knew for 8 months only. Some guys act differently when they are abroad. Also too soon to move in together, actually, why would you move in together without a ring? Either he proposes or you carry on living in sperate houses.
Maggiemay1 Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 Some guys act differently when they are abroad. Also too soon to move in together, actually, why would you move in together without a ring?. Yes guys might act differently when abroad but usually when on guys only holidays !! Peer pressure. Male rivalry, whatever. But not with a partner! That’s often when they let their soft side out. Why move in without a ring? Because in current day it takes two to save for a wedding. No dowries anymore lol. But I do agree that renting together after a year is too soon. It’s convenience not commitment and easy to get out of. It would be better to buy together , some form of commitment but one would want to be very certain before financially committing to another especially when emotions involved. I would say not before the 3 year mark.
jspice Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 If you’re already talking about moving in together then it’s not too soon. It might be a great way to get to see another side of him.
Watercolors Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 First, your friends are a petty group to say such nonsense to you. Vegas? Ew, gross. Don't ever go there. That place is a heap of gross. One thing I've learned over the years, is to keep parts of my relationships to myself and not share with my friends or they will gladly chime in with their judgmental opinions and get mad if I don't do what THEY want me to do. So, maybe don't rely on your girlfriends' opinions so much anymore. After all, you're the one in the relationship with your boyfriend, not them. Definitely book a trip abroad with your boyfriend for 2 weeks in October. Like another poster said this trip could really show you and your boyfriend just how compatible you two are together. People move in with each other all the time, ring or no ring. The engagement ring means nothing b/c its really just a symbol. Look. You could wait until he proposes and move in together and the relationship could fail. There are no guarantees in life. If you want to take a trip then move in with each other still, after the trip, do it. See what happens.
Maggiemay1 Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 People move in with each other all the time, ring or no ring. The engagement ring means nothing b/c its really just a symbol. Look. You could wait until he proposes and move in together and the relationship could fail. There are no guarantees in life. A ring might be a mere symbol but it’s a bigger symbol that signing a lease. In the past people got engaged and married soon after. My parents for example, dated 8 months , married at 11 months. Still together over 50 years later. Current day is different of course. If divorce was not an option and living together was not an option , no the Op’s bf would not be proposing anytime soon. So I agree that waiting on a ring is not the way to go. But waiting until she is certain about their relationship is. My sister refused to buy a house with her partner because while they rented together , he had only shown a financial commitment in his proposition to buy. Smart girl! They did marry and buy and kids later all happy.
chillii Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 (edited) Ahhh, November, that's damn near 12mths, of course go, go where you want it's only for a few weeks. At worst you'll fight and get pissed and fly home alone but chances are you guys will be just fine anyway, you'll know yourself better than anyone if you can stand 2 wks together or not. You wouldn't be moving in together if you can't even hack that, Edited August 26, 2019 by chillii
Author rejected1 Posted August 27, 2019 Author Posted August 27, 2019 Thanks everyone... So our 14 day trip to Cuba is booked. 2
Els Posted August 27, 2019 Posted August 27, 2019 That's a really weird thing to say - do you have to be together for X number of years in order to travel X*100 miles together or something? Super bizarre, lol. I'd take the trip, and maybe consider getting new friends.
spiritedaway2003 Posted August 27, 2019 Posted August 27, 2019 It's not too soon. What a strange comment from your friends. I travel all the time. I wouldn't blink an eye on booking a trip overseas with a bf. Have fun on your trip! 1
kendahke Posted August 27, 2019 Posted August 27, 2019 What are your thoughts? You need to dismiss your committee that you run your relationship business past for approval and determine for yourself if it feels right to go out of the country with him. In general, are these friends supportive of your relationships or do they enjoy sniping the guys you get involved with?
The Outlaw Posted August 27, 2019 Posted August 27, 2019 Where you ultimately go isn't any of their business. It will give you more time with him one on one.
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