mortensorchid Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 At last a new thread on a new situation. I met this guy on Bumble a week ago or so, we were supposed to have a get together this evening. He said in a text yesterday that he was not sure how he was feeling, he felt like he was getting a cold and wasn't going to make it for Friday night. I said okay. Today I texted a good morning to him, he responded while I was out shopping. We were supposed to meet for dinner, he texted me at about 4:30 saying he felt bad and was going to sleep it off tonight. I said alright, we will aim for Sunday night then as he suggested in a previous text. So I am on standby now. How do I feel? Well, I feel okay but ... I think his interested in actually meeting might be waning. Usually you should strike while the iron is hot and it's lukewarm now. But not giving up, this could go somewhere...
DaddyDom Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 I'm normally not an advocate of game playing. But if you want him to respect your time, you need him to feel the other side. I'd text him Sun and say "My friends invited me out tonight and I accepted because you've been so sick. What's your schedule like next week?" Show him you'll walk away at anytime and you'll never be treated like am option again. 1
Maggiemay1 Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 I'm normally not an advocate of game playing. I'd text him Sun and say "My friends invited me out tonight and I accepted because you've been so sick. What's your schedule like next week?" Show him you'll walk away at anytime and you'll never be treated like am option again. Perhaps he is sick? He did give her a days notice that he might not be well. And confirmed that to be the case on Sat. OP you are not on standby. Standby would be if he had said I’ll let you know when I’m better. But he has rescheduled for Sunday , so assume that’s still the plan. IF he says on Sunday he is still sick (might be true if he has flu) then tell him to contact you when he is feeling better and perhaps don’t agree to the first available date he suggests. 1
Flame Aura Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 It's supposed to be your first meeting, you haven't met yet. Give him the benefit of the doubt he is telling the truth. See what happens on Sunday. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted August 24, 2019 Author Posted August 24, 2019 It's supposed to be your first meeting, you haven't met yet. Give him the benefit of the doubt he is telling the truth. See what happens on Sunday. Will do. I will wait for him to contact and not loose hope that we will meet Sunday. 1
boymommy Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 I’d just live your own life, stop trying to chase him down. I am sort of the traditional mindset that if you are having to do more of the interacting then the guy, then there is a problem. Back off and give him some space. If he is sick then he will recover and if he wants to reschedule then he will. If he doesnt then he was never that intetested to begin with. If you are the one continuing to go after him its difficult to gage what his interest level is this early on. So dont show your cards right away! Mirror his efforts! 2
Ruby Slippers Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 I'd say feel better and let's reschedule once you're feeling good again. Then go about your life and accept the next invite if you're free. Definitely don't wait around. 1
Gretchen12 Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 If he has a cold he might still be contagious on Sunday.
alphamale Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 If he has a cold he might still be contagious on Sunday. actually one is most contagious BEFORE symptoms appear, that is how the virus proliferates 1
Gretchen12 Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 actually one is most contagious BEFORE symptoms appear, that is how the virus proliferates True that. Still bothers me when sitting next to someone with a nasty cough though.
scooby-philly Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 I'm normally not an advocate of game playing. But if you want him to respect your time, you need him to feel the other side. I'd text him Sun and say "My friends invited me out tonight and I accepted because you've been so sick. What's your schedule like next week?" Show him you'll walk away at anytime and you'll never be treated like am option again. Okay - that's the silliest thing I've read on here in years. If you don't advocate playing games, then don't advocate it. As other posters have said, he followed appropriate protocol in letting her know. If he is flaking and pretending, she will soon find out and she can move on. If he's genuinely sick then she's silly to play games. Take people at the word until you have evidence or a suspicion otherwise. Especially with dating - certain things can only be told through trends. So keep up spirits OP and if doesn't for Sunday, then move on as suggested, offering him an opportunity to pick a hard/firm reschedule date if you're still in the mood to see him. 2
The Outlaw Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 Not trying to sound harsh, but if he cancels again Sunday, you may just want to move on. 1
Wanderlust2018 Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 I had a similar situation once, and I am the type to generally give people the benefit of the doubt, but I also have a BS meter like an AWACS radar plane. She basically pulled the same thing...cold, blah blah blah. Just to confirm my suspicions and gut feeling, and after a brief search, which is very easy to do these days, I found her on social media. Low and behold, she had posted a pic out having cocktails with a couple of her girlfriends, looking like she was feeling quite well actually...go figure. I played my cards close to my vest, laid low and remained silent. When she reached out after that, I never even responded back. I don’t know, I can be a bit of a harda$$ with flakiness, but I tend to view first dates like a first job interview. Meaning, you show up. Not saying this is the case with this person you’re talking about...but I’d be a bit cautious and always am if they don’t follow through on the very first date. But that’s just me. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted August 25, 2019 Author Posted August 25, 2019 Not trying to sound harsh, but if he cancels again Sunday, you may just want to move on. Yes I agree. It's early Sunday afternoon and I am going to go do some shopping and whatnot. I will wait to hear from him. If not I will just move on.
Author mortensorchid Posted August 25, 2019 Author Posted August 25, 2019 Well... Around 1pm I got a text from him saying "hey there". I responded while I was out shopping. I said in my response text that I was out finishing the shopping be with housing a bit. About 20 minutes later I got home and texted him "Hope you're feeling better.Are we still on for tonight?" No response. A few hours later he texted back asking to reschedule for this week as he still wasn't feeling well. He said it's a terrible time to get a cold he was sorry we couldn't meet this weekend. I texted him back to reach out when he's feeling better. Hmmm... Well at least he was courteous enough that he responded. Years ago I was going to have a 3rd date with someone and when he was almost an hour late I called him and he answered "I f****d up, I am out at a ar with a friend." I hung up on him and never heard a word from him again, naturally. I'll put this one on standby still but I'm not holding my breath. 2
alphamale Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 Well... Around 1pm I got a text from him saying "hey there". I responded while I was out shopping. I said in my response text that I was out finishing the shopping be with housing a bit. About 20 minutes later I got home and texted him "Hope you're feeling better.Are we still on for tonight?" No response. A few hours later he texted back asking to reschedule for this week as he still wasn't feeling well. He said it's a terrible time to get a cold he was sorry we couldn't meet this weekend. I texted him back to reach out when he's feeling better. Hmmm... Well at least he was courteous enough that he responded. Years ago I was going to have a 3rd date with someone and when he was almost an hour late I called him and he answered "I f****d up, I am out at a ar with a friend." I hung up on him and never heard a word from him again, naturally. I'll put this one on standby still but I'm not holding my breath. this is one of those OLD guys who never intends to meet anyone...
Author mortensorchid Posted August 26, 2019 Author Posted August 26, 2019 this is one of those OLD guys who never intends to meet anyone... Sadly I think you are right. I will not hold my breath.
alphamale Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 Sadly I think you are right. I will not hold my breath. he's probably married any ways, good riddance I say 1
The Outlaw Posted August 27, 2019 Posted August 27, 2019 OLD/Bumble/Tinder and the like are a joke anyway. You didn't miss anything. Again, he may legit be sick, but it's best to just walk away at this point in time and try again.
Logo Posted August 27, 2019 Posted August 27, 2019 I'm normally not an advocate of game playing. But if you want him to respect your time, you need him to feel the other side. I'd text him Sun and say "My friends invited me out tonight and I accepted because you've been so sick. What's your schedule like next week?" Show him you'll walk away at anytime and you'll never be treated like am option again. This usually ends up badly anyway you slice it. It's best to stick to your own standards instead of playing games. 1
Logo Posted August 27, 2019 Posted August 27, 2019 this is one of those OLD guys who never intends to meet anyone... A waste of time.
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