Women airing demands why can't men

[alphamale]

The average guy these days has very little value in the dating market compared to the average woman.

 

the "average woman" also has two or three minor kids in tow, that doesn't help their dating prospects

[Wanderlust2018]

I know what you mean by demands from women’s profiles and 1) I find them off putting and 2) a mechanism for efficiency. What I mean is, efficiency wise, if they have a laundry list of items, I don’t even spare a second on them. It demonstrates closed mindedness on their part, as well as being inflexible, unable to compromise, and most importantly, an inability to love someone for who they, the other person is.

 

How many of us have family who are religious, or perhaps and atheist, have guns or don’t have guns, who drink or don’t, smoke pot or not, raise their kids differently than we might...who they voted for (one I see constantly on OLD) yet we don’t (for the most part) not have a relationship with them. This list could go on and on...

 

Who’d want to be with such a judge-mental person anyway? I see it as a red flag and I don’t care the ratio of men to women on OLD sites. WTH ever happened to liking or loving someone unconditionally!?!?

[alphamale]

WTH ever happened to liking or loving someone unconditionally!?!?

 

whatever you're smoking Wanderlust, I want some of that

[Gretchen12]

I know what you mean by demands from women’s profiles and 1) I find them off putting and 2) a mechanism for efficiency.

 

WTH ever happened to liking or loving someone unconditionally!?!?

 

If you still believe in that, I strongly recommend getting off of dating sites. Seriously, it messes you up. It changes the way you relate and behave.

 

Why are there so many more men than women online? Because a good number of women don't go online to find dates. They meet men in real life and they're doing just fine. So those OLD profiles you read are not a good representation of the female population.

 

After too many OLD fiascos, when you do happen to meet a good woman in real life, you've already become too cynical, ruined by OLD.

[chillii]

I'm wanting to ask people on here why is it okay and tolerable for women to air demands from men but it is not okay for men to air demands for women? I'm on various dating sites and it looks like I'm almost reading the same person, just different faces with a huge laundry list of demands. I tend to notice if I make a small list myself, women get angry.

 

 

Recently I've been making it a requirement to hold off on sex until I make sure the girl I'm with is not crazy, is disease and drug free (I've had mix results and one of my previous posts I admitted I failed my standard by sleeping with a girl right away/plan on getting tested at the end of the year/beginning next year). I've had girls flat out tell me that my standards are way too high, and that's just after the talk of when we'll sleep together (usually started by them). For clarity, you know how it goes: "I'm tired of being used by jerks, so I hope you don't expect sex right away" in which I tell them that I agree and that I have my own reasons, then they press on it, and then get offended that I will not take their word for it once I bring up wanting to be in a committed relationship and getting tested for safety.

 

 

I'm worried about airing other demands, since I feel like I'm just gonna get a lot of hate messages because of it. A lot of the girls even demand a man must meet the 6 sixes or a portion of it: 6 pack abs, above 6ft tall, 6 figure income, 6+ inches in the pants, 6 months out of a relationship, 6 years of college.. you get the point.. Most of them have bios where if the gender was reversed, sexism would be screamed, a lot of people would be asking "who hurt you bro" it's ridiculous. God forbid that I ask that they're clean.. and I've even heard on various videos men getting slammed if they require that women know how to cook or at least apply heat to food.

 

 

So anyways, what I'm wanting to know, is how can I air my demands of women without coming off like a misogynist? Also why can women come off as such man haters and us as a society lets them get away with it?

 

 

 

 

Women get away with so much it's ridiculous, but it's also just dreaming and a helluva a lot of double standards you will learn.

Don't take it too seriously , it's just an allusion basically, dreaming. typing up some ridiculous shopping list on a date site is easy , but getting it's another story and you'll notice over time years later those types are still on there and probably 3 or 4 others as well , worn out and still no where.

lf they can't get or hold onto it in RL , chances are they won't on a date site either. 500 silly dates and emails means nothing , just fluff that 99 out of 100 goes nowhere, just read around ls.

You'll see the pattern after awhile.

 

And of course you can , put in what you want, doesn't mean you get it but most of the time they don't get it either.

l had a few things in mine l knew most women would scoff at but eh who cares, l wasn't interested in most women but the ones l were got exactly where l was coming from.

Edited August 23, 2019 by chillii

[crispytoast]

A lot of the girls even demand a man must meet the 6 sixes or a portion of it: above 6ft tall, 6+ inches in the pants, 6 months out of a relationship

Damn I must have missed those profiles when I was Tindering because I would've been tearing ish up

[chillii]

Hitem back baby , ask for a nice tight fresh v, boobs and waste and height and blonde hair and whatever else takes your fancy.

[Maggiemay1]

You can demand all you like! No one is stopping you!

What’s the problem?

[salparadise]

I've noticed this trend, or whatever you call it. My assumption is that it's a defensive maneuver used by women with an oversized attitude and low intelligence. What man in his right mind finds that crap attractive?

 

I think many women are ashamed to have to advertise their goods on a dating site in the first place, and their profiles are sometimes written to compensate by sounding like they present the biggest challenge of any woman on the internet –– the pickiest, most discerning, most entitled, highest standards, etc. It's all a bunch of bluster, and it only means one thing... not fit for human consumption. Undatable.

 

They're wearing this defensive, negative attitude on their sleeve, which to me isn't necessarily a bad thing because it gives men the info we need to pass without having to invest more than the thirty seconds it takes to read the profile.

[Big Aus]

I'm wanting to ask people on here why is it okay and tolerable for women to air demands from men but it is not okay for men to air demands for women?

 

You need to understand the "system" that you have entered.

And remember, it operates much like a free market. It's not because "men are this way" or "women are that way". It is the ultimate result of our attitudes, our reactions to others attitudes, their reaction to ours, our reaction to their reactions, etc, etc)

 

Once you weed out all the scammers, fakes, and dead profiles, of the active users, the vast majority of men are simply looking for sex. Unfortunately these guys are also the best at writing great profiles and spinning tales, they know what works. So when a women reads your profile, that is what she assumes.

One the other side, the vast majority of women are simply looking for complements and validation. And who can blame them. What sane woman, genuinely looking for an LTR, would subject herself to a site where the majority of contacts will be men looking to hook-up.

 

The other problem is that people don't understand the dynamics of these ads.

It's like when you read some poor smuck's car advert and it says something like "no more time-wasters, dick-heads, tyre-kickers, or low-ballers." Because they naively believe that will actually work.

So too women think that if they just ratchet up the list of demands high enough, then all the sleazeballs will stop harassing them

Edited August 23, 2019 by Big Aus

[kendahke]

WTH ever happened to liking or loving someone unconditionally!?!?

 

That NEVER happened.

 

Are you actually saying that you like/love someone sight unseen on a dating app unconditionally?

 

No one in their right mind does that.

[fromheart]

The reality is that a beautiful woman doesn't need to go online to get a date, or a man.

 

The other reality is that men, and some women, are online for quick sex. An extension of online porn basically.

 

The women know this, and exploit it. It gives them power and makes them feel beautiful. The men go along with it, because if they can just do the dance and negotiate the BS, they might get laid.

 

I avoid online dating for the above reasons.

[Shining One]

For online dating, it is ALL ABOUT NUMBERS. Demands put people off, both male and female. But if the average male profile gets 10 views a day, that man can't really afford to irritate and put off 90% of the women who view his profile. However, the average female profile gets many, many times more views than the average male profile. The woman can afford to put off 90% of her views and will still have more messages in her inbox than she can deal with. If she is good looking, at least.

To add to this, women (in general) are more likely to be turned off by men's "demands", even if those demands don't filter them out. If a man's profile says: "No fat chicks", thin women will still be turned off. If a woman's profile says: "No short dudes", tall men (and probably quite a few short men) will still message her.

[Gretchen12]

The reality is that a beautiful woman doesn't need to go online to get a date, or a man.

 

You can cross out "beautiful". I'm average looking and middle aged and I get approached by men regularly. And the men are nice, normal, not weird, unemployed or sleazy. So why would I go online and do all that work?

[fromheart]

You can cross out "beautiful". I'm average looking and middle aged and I get approached by men regularly. And the men are nice, normal, not weird, unemployed or sleazy. So why would I go online and do all that work?

 

I wouldn't say beauty is all about looks, average looking and incredibly sexy is more attractive than just good looking for many men.

 

But the reality is that an incredibly good looking 22 year old woman, is going to get hit on constantly.

[Tamfana]

You can demand all you like! No one is stopping you!

What’s the problem?

 

^This is what I thought too.

Anyone can demand whatever they wish and air their demands far and wide but a foreseeable consequence of airing demands is that lot of people will walk away. What can ya do?

[alphamale]

edited to delete

[HiCrunchy]

Have ur preferences, just dont scream it from the rooftops.

I know I dont and I'm female lol

[alphamale]

I'm female lol

 

I always thought you were a boy HiC

[somelamedude]

Thanks for all the messages. I do want to take the time and share my online dating experiences. You guys are absolutely right. I have met online many women who want the validation, but never want to meet up, and later on I'll see a bigger woman than anticipated and not recognize them at first, just to find out it was one of those chronically single women.

 

 

In terms of the chronically single, you guys are right, I was involved in a LTR for over 5 years on and off, and a lot of these girls were the same girls I saw over 5 years ago! It's sad because some of them are losing their looks and as time passes, the laundry lists get bigger.. it almost feels that they've dated around a lot with guys with those attributes and when it doesn't work out, it's an edition to their list.

 

 

Also the hook up culture is WAY real, some of the best lays I've ever had were on dating sites, and I've come to learn that cuddling usually means in girl lingo "I want to have fun in the bedroom"

 

 

I think what I'll do is probably come up with a small genuine list, and touch up my dating profiles, but mainly meet women in person, and do some research to find out where most of the single chicks are.

[Wanderlust2018]

That NEVER happened.

 

Are you actually saying that you like/love someone sight unseen on a dating app unconditionally?

 

No one in their right mind does that.

 

Seriously?!?! Of course I’m not saying you like/love someone sight unseen. What I’m saying is, people, such as the original poster mentioned, are often way too hung up on trivial BS that shouldn’t really matter...like who someone voted for, which I see all the time on dating sites. Who cares?!?

[salparadise]

Seriously?!?! Of course I’m not saying you like/love someone sight unseen. What I’m saying is, people, such as the original poster mentioned, are often way too hung up on trivial BS that shouldn’t really matter...like who someone voted for, which I see all the time on dating sites. Who cares?!?

 

Sheesh! So you're flipping from unconditional love, sight unseen, to fundamental compatibility? In case you haven't thought this through (which you obviously haven't)... in the current environment, who a person voted for is absolutely a legitimate selection criteria, and one the most blatant.

 

I had a semi-good looking woman here at my place, second date, and she was ready to rock 'n roll, and after a few glassed of Cab she admitted to being a Trumpette. I send her ass down the road so fast... I wasn't mean, I just lost any modicum of respect (or attraction) I might have had. For me it's like a light switch. You either did or didn't. And if you did, there's nothing more to discuss.

[kendahke]

Seriously?!?! Of course I’m not saying you like/love someone sight unseen.

 

 

Well that's what this thread is about--people one has never met or seen in life making demands and not giving chances--not the non sequitur you brought into it.

[alphamale]

and after a few glassed of Cab she admitted to being a Trumpette..

 

that's a shame sal

[Logo]

You have a point. I'm not dating, but I would question how many of these women actually get a man who meets all their requirements. I suspect many of them either settle for what's actually reasonable or end up single for a very long time.

 

 

That sounds about right. Then they get jaded, then they get more demanding, then they get mad, then nothing's good enough and the vicious cycle continues.

 

As a man, from my perspective dating women where I live, I find that 98% of women could use a reality check. Many of them have an inflated view of themselves; you realize that once you start talking to them and get to know them. With OLD, if you go back to their profile you realize that the persona they wanted to project was some fairy tale version of themselves. It happens in real life too. They market themselves based on bs that doesn't hold after you get to know them.

 

 

 

I don't know why it happens, maybe it's because their parents or their society keeps telling them that they are amazing, that the title of their job defines them, that earning this much is what makes them unique, even if their "specialty" is poring over spreadsheets all day. It's as though an entire group has an inferiority complex and is trying to overcompensate for something that's lacking, much like an arrogant person brags, but then you realize that it's all talk.

 

Maybe it's some new dynamic between the genders in the 21st century, maybe it's the age old power games that people play. Power is at play in every relationship.

 

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OP, make your own list. Someone will come along and either find it refreshing or meet it. It's not unreasonable.

 

OLD is rife with nonsense. Some are bored, and for them the attention is appealing. OLD is a flea market and you have to go through a lot of dusty and broken crap before you find someone normal. But there is no guarantee you will find someone stable, or normal, by the generally accepted definition.

 

 

The best way to find someone normal is through acquaintances. If they're all taken or in relationships, then you'll just have to wait for that one winning lottery ticket.

 

Social activities and groups that share a common interest is an option, but even that can turn into work. The trick is to find something that you just love doing and then do it, even if you don't immediately see or find someone you click with. Who knows, maybe that 60 year old man or that 50 year old woman still has a single daughter who's looking for a good man.

 

Take breaks in between though. It's emotionally draining having to wade through so much **** in the swamp.