Gaeta Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 but then moment things started getting serious boom they are gone. I see only few reasons. One they had relationship issue which they hid and they wanted some form of security so i was backup. second they thought they were ok with other races but the moment things started getting serious they had second thoughts. Third they were genuine as well but we all know you hardly get to know actual reason. If a woman isn't into interracial dating she will ignore your message. She will not get into chatting you and then dropping you. When people are closed to interracial dating it's strong in them, there is no ambivalence. If a woman drops you after a few exchange it's because she didn't feel an interest enough to pursuit, same when she doesn't call back after a first date. You just continue till you meet someone you both connect, there is no secret recipe. Men often think they can win any woman over if only they had the good words or good moves, it doesn't work like that!! it's all about meeting someone you both have an interest in each other. There rest unfolds on its own.
Art_Critic Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 5 dates seems to be pretty good success honestly.. You don't seem to have a problem getting dates but you seem to have a problem getting them to proceed to second dates. It isn't the OLD doing that it's you... Something about the way you are coming off in the first date is different than you are in email and on the phone. Are these women the same age as you ? Self confidence or lack of it rather can be a deal breaker on a first date.. How do you think you come off on a first date ? 1
Author lokardy Posted August 22, 2019 Author Posted August 22, 2019 (edited) 5 dates seems to be pretty good success honestly.. You don't seem to have a problem getting dates but you seem to have a problem getting them to proceed to second dates. It isn't the OLD doing that it's you... Something about the way you are coming off in the first date is different than you are in email and on the phone. Are these women the same age as you ? Self confidence or lack of it rather can be a deal breaker on a first date.. How do you think you come off on a first date ? Mostly same age or an year younger. Only the one which didn't show interest was 5 years younger. I am very talkative when i know person already.Generally i can talk for hours and hours without any trouble but i don't flirt and don't go with the mindset that i want to kiss or touch someone. may be my confidence is low because i went through terrible breakup which pushed me into jaws of deep depression and anxiety disorder. I kind of recovered thereafter and pushed myself into dating world but every failed attempt just makes me anxious and dents my confidence. Like yesterday i got to know that girl doesn't want to proceed so if i go and meet someone today i will be low on confidence for sure Edited August 22, 2019 by lokardy
Author lokardy Posted August 22, 2019 Author Posted August 22, 2019 Mostly same age or an year younger. Only the one which didn't show interest was 5 years younger. I am very talkative when i know person already.Generally i can talk for hours and hours without any trouble but i don't flirt and don't go with the mindset that i want to kiss or touch someone. may be my confidence is low because i went through terrible breakup which pushed me into jaws of deep depression and anxiety disorder. I kind of recovered thereafter and pushed myself into dating world but every failed attempt just makes me anxious and dents my confidence. Like yesterday i got to know that girl doesn't want to proceed so if i go and meet someone today i will be low on confidence for sure But if i have to believe the reasons they gave (Not sure if they were real reasons) One girl said her ex bf came back, then other one works from 8-8 and some language courses and stuff and doesn't have time to invest(If someone wants you they will put efforts so lame excuse but then we went on only one date and not connected emotionally) and other one just ghosted and the other one said she never dates anyone from Tinder(I am still wondering why she created profile tbh)
schlumpy Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 In ideal world Yes but then it isn't. There are so many stereo types and quite a lot of girls are always worried about introducing their boyfriend from other races to their friends fearing the judgement. supremacy of races is still real. You should rethink this idea. It's not a matter of racial supremacy, it's a matter of tribalism. People with the same ideas tend to form groups with common ideas and goals. The best approach, in my opinion, is to accept people as individuals. Very few people can check all the boxes in a stereotype.
Author lokardy Posted August 22, 2019 Author Posted August 22, 2019 You should rethink this idea. It's not a matter of racial supremacy, it's a matter of tribalism. People with the same ideas tend to form groups with common ideas and goals. The best approach, in my opinion, is to accept people as individuals. Very few people can check all the boxes in a stereotype. Understand, we can put it that way. I just wanted to say my options are limited. I don't fault them for not being ope to other races. Everyone has right to choose what they want
chillii Posted August 23, 2019 Posted August 23, 2019 And don't forget , you have the right to choose what you want too, l do , there's nothing wrong with that.
Author lokardy Posted August 23, 2019 Author Posted August 23, 2019 And don't forget , you have the right to choose what you want too, l do , there's nothing wrong with that. Agreed, It is just i was looking for certain degree of fairness. If you are not happy after first date say so and move on. Dragging it till someone asks again for me looks very selfish and dishonest but seems that is the name of the game in which i am still a beginner.
Cersei Posted August 23, 2019 Posted August 23, 2019 Race has nothing to do with it my friend. You mentioned Tinder. If race was an issue why would these girls have swiped right? There is something happening on your first dates that is off putting. Do you have female friends, a sister or anyone that can bluntly tell you what the problem may be?
crispytoast Posted August 23, 2019 Posted August 23, 2019 Race has nothing to do with it my friend. You mentioned Tinder. If race was an issue why would these girls have swiped right? There is something happening on your first dates that is off putting. Do you have female friends, a sister or anyone that can bluntly tell you what the problem may be? I'm not saying that race is the sole reason, but to say it has nothing to do with it is flat out wrong. A study was done some time ago about what percentage of men & women of different races got swiped. Certain minorities fared better than others but the consensus was that Tinder was most successful for white people. So yeah, race definitely plays a factor.
Author lokardy Posted August 23, 2019 Author Posted August 23, 2019 (edited) Race has nothing to do with it my friend. You mentioned Tinder. If race was an issue why would these girls have swiped right? There is something happening on your first dates that is off putting. Do you have female friends, a sister or anyone that can bluntly tell you what the problem may be? Ok, I can ask my sister/friends but they would be useless to say least because we are from the cultures where dating is not prevalent. I am still in friendly terms with one of the girl out of the 5. I will ask her if she found something wrong. My own assertion is that I am doing something wrong after first date which is either to contact them too much or not contact them at all. But to be honest it looks like i expect both the people to put similar efforts which unfortunately not happening. Edited August 23, 2019 by lokardy
boymommy Posted August 23, 2019 Posted August 23, 2019 Ok, I can ask my sister/friends but they would be useless to say least because we are from the cultures where dating is not prevalent. I am still in friendly terms with one of the girl out of the 5. I will ask her if she found something wrong. My own assertion is that I am doing something wrong after first date which is either to contact them too much or not contact them at all. But to be honest it looks like i expect both the people to put similar efforts which unfortunately not happening. I don’t know, you only went out with a few women! I am unsure the issue was DIRECTLY your actions vs a combination of not being the right fit and just online dating culture. As I have said you have to message more and ask out more! It may seem like you are going out TONS and still not finding the right person. Largely thats how online dating is..its sort of like shopping for a car. With so many choices its hard for people to choose just one person..and very easy to not commit to a second date if they see one tiny thing they dont like. Because they can just go online and find someone else!
Author lokardy Posted August 23, 2019 Author Posted August 23, 2019 I don’t know, you only went out with a few women! I am unsure the issue was DIRECTLY your actions vs a combination of not being the right fit and just online dating culture. As I have said you have to message more and ask out more! It may seem like you are going out TONS and still not finding the right person. Largely thats how online dating is..its sort of like shopping for a car. With so many choices its hard for people to choose just one person..and very easy to not commit to a second date if they see one tiny thing they dont like. Because they can just go online and find someone else! Sure boymommy, I will continue to put efforts and believe right one is just around the corner.Thanks for the encouragement
notthatintome Posted August 23, 2019 Posted August 23, 2019 It's still early days so don't worry. You will have to kiss a load of frogs before... is that how the saying goes? I have had three dates from online dating and neither of them were right. Its hard to tell by just a picture. Keep in there and try and work out what you would like from a woman. It appears as though you are not fussy. When you know what you want, it will be easier to find the right one for you.
Author lokardy Posted August 23, 2019 Author Posted August 23, 2019 It's still early days so don't worry. You will have to kiss a load of frogs before... is that how the saying goes? I have had three dates from online dating and neither of them were right. Its hard to tell by just a picture. Keep in there and try and work out what you would like from a woman. It appears as though you are not fussy. When you know what you want, it will be easier to find the right one for you. I am not fussy for sure but then i don't send message to someone if i feel they might not be right fit based on their bio and questions they have answered. once who respond(I have more than 30 responses so far) either they don't respond after some time or i don't . Eventually i found 8 of them to be really interesting and i screwed 3 of it by speaking sh*t (Frustration because of other dates didn't go well) and one of them i was very skeptical but i still wanted to take a chance and see but it ended in 30 mins confirming my fears. Rest all 4 i really believed that they will work out.I went with that belief that they will be successful hence the disappointment. Anyway not the end of world someone better just around the corner
mortensorchid Posted August 24, 2019 Posted August 24, 2019 I think when OLD first happened there was a lot of hope that it was going to be about finding true love. And it's ... Not. Remember before there were actual dating websites that people were on a variety of chat rooms and message boards who were using the internet for hookups and whatever else. People used social networking for this (Friendster, MySpace, and still Facebook) for dates and hookups. And sometimes, with the rise of legitimate ones (like Match and EHarmony) you also thought these things would happen. Recently, however, I noticed in my last bought with Match how these things went down as well (EHarmony is really a waste but that was evident for a long time now). So don't be angry or depressed about things. There is a Mr. / Miss Right out there, but there are so, so, so many Mr. / Miss Wrongs. It's just the way it is.
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