rightondude Posted August 21, 2019 Posted August 21, 2019 I don't think I've ever actually been in love. I think I am now after dating someone I can't get enough of for a few months. I've never had these feelings and compulsions for the actions I take on a daily basis before, and I've never had someone seemingly have these feelings for me. Every conversation and compliment seems to stop just short of saying the "L word." I know I'm still in the honeymoon phase but I honestly can't see a scenario where I don't feel this. I know enough about her, we share everything...it just feels right. I know people can put on a front for a few months, but I've met the family, taken extended vacations and know everything about her past at this point. For those of you who have been so lucky, how'd the timing go before dropping the bomb? Guess you need to be sure your significant other will reciprocate but somebody's gotta take that leap of faith.... The time I've said it before I was wrong and stupid for doing so. It ended horribly after living years based on that lie (from both sides).
h0000 Posted August 21, 2019 Posted August 21, 2019 The time I've said it before I was wrong and stupid for doing so. It ended horribly after living years based on that lie (from both sides). Please, it ended horrifically because of the relationship, not because you said the L word. Do you think had you not said the word that relationship would have worked out? There is no right or wrong time for saying it. What is wrong? You feel what you feel, is your feeling "wrong'? that's absurd. If you want to say it, say it. It she's scared afterwards, good you know that now than never.
chillii Posted August 21, 2019 Posted August 21, 2019 Really pleased for ya man and happy for you that the other situation worked itself out too. That's all l've got to say on the matter :bunny: , good luck. 1
notthatintome Posted August 21, 2019 Posted August 21, 2019 I think if it feels right then say it. In the past, I have normally felt it around 6 months (only twice). When you know, you know. Love can take on different guises too. There is the first flush love and after time this changes into a deeper love (but this can take many years). That's why they say it is possible to love two people at the same time - first flush and deep love. How true that is, I do not know. Try to relax and not overthink it. Just go with it and if it feels right, then say it. Good luck.
boymommy Posted August 21, 2019 Posted August 21, 2019 My boyfriend of almost 2 years said it at 2.5 months on my birthday. I said it right back. He had been feeling me out for awhile (“I love being close to you, “I love holding you”) So I figured he was gearing up for it and testing the waters so to speak. In my relationships usually guys have sort of felt me out by using the word “love” in other capacities and then when they couldn't hold it in anymore they dropped it on me.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 You can say this any time ... You can say it during a particularly close and intimate moment of love-making sex ... You can say it one night as a goodbye or as part of a goodbye kiss. No magic really in saying it. Great story ... good luck with this!
Gretchen12 Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 Come to think of it, I have never said it intentionally. I've said it in an excited moment when it just slipped out and I don't remember the circumstances. I've said a lot more of "I love him" in my mind, saying it to myself, when I'm just happy or when I needed to remind myself to be understanding and tolerant. But I've never had the urge or need to tell the person. Is the purpose of saying it to reassure that person? If that's the intention then I think you say it ASAP so your loved one does not worry. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 I feel like many dont really know what "love" is/mean. I think most of the time people say it when they are infatuated and at the height of their romantic "feelings". you can say it when you feel it. most people do. and let the chips fall where they may. may end up regretting it later. may not. but I dont start to believe anybodys "I love you" until we have been together for atleast a year or two and they still choose to want to be with me lol. after knowing me inside and out flaws and all if you still "love" me theeeeeeen I would actually believe those words once aimed. so say it when you feel it and see if you actually mean it over time or you can just wait till you know you mean it good luck 1
HiCrunchy Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 I've been told at 2 weeks and at 1 month. I felt compelled to say it at around the 2 month mark for the second person. Never had feelings for the first dude. So I'd say maybe at the 1 to 3 month mark sounds good. Tho I think 1 month in (if u dont have a previous friendship) might be a bit early and u risk her not being at that level yet.
alphamale Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 rightondude, if you guys have done all that 'stuff' in only 2 months time you are probably taking it waaay too fast. you need to slow down. r3emember that once you drop the "L" bomb you cannot take it back. if I were you i'd wait a couple more months...
aria789 Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 Maybe I'm naive or too romantic. But, I believe that you can say this when you realize you feel it. Just don’t be nervous if the person doesn’t respond to you instantly. Relationships do not end just because you say the "L" word. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 Every man I've ever had a relationship with said it within the first few months. If he hadn't, I'd have begun to lose interest and detach.
alphamale Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 Relationships do not end just because you say the "L" word. sometimes they do aria789
MetallicHue Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 sometimes they do aria789 If so not the end of the world and not meant to be.
Mrin Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 I told my GF when we were in the shower together. IIRC her head was under the water and so her reaction was something like "Wait. What?" LOL 2
preraph Posted August 22, 2019 Posted August 22, 2019 You want to get the feeling that she reciprocates. For example, you don't want to say it if she's been kind of stand-offish or wanting to spend more time away from you than usual or if she has lots to complain about or if there's times you wonder if she's seeing someone or trying to meet someone on OLD. If you do it when someone isn't as invested as you, it usually brings about a split, so you are right to be cautious about the timing. On the other hand, if she always wants to spend time with you and you have a great time together and it doesn't seem one-way or imbalanced, then that's great. If you haven't already had the "exclusive" talk, of course that is the first step. But I would hope if you are feeling that way and it's been some months, that you are already exclusive officially. So how long have you been dating, real dates, not seeing her under the guise of being just friends? It takes time to really know someone, so you don't want to jump the gun and then find yourself committed and then find out you are just getting to know the real her instead of the "best early dating behavior" her.
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