swherdman Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 I wrote this earlier today, don't know who i am supposed to show something like this or who i had in mind to show it to when i wrote it, but i feel i need some advice so this is why you find it here. i don't know if it all makes sense but here goes anyway. I am not sure weather i am looking for an answer to a question or just some general advice. for refrence we are both 17, turning 18 in a few months ----- I am in an unusual situation at the moment, i cant find any advice on situations similar to mine and i dont know what to do. I have known this wonderful girl for almost the last two years, We both went to different schools but we met through this program where you can take one of your school classes through an external educational facility by attending classes outside of school once a week, Over time, as with any other thing i got to know this person better, after about 12 months i started to realize she was interested in me, but as i am a fairly shy guy and i hadn't been out with anyone before i didn't feel i was really ready and i wasn't 100% sure she was interested in me as i haven't had any real experience reading such signs. over the past few months i got more confidant to the point where i was seriously considering asking her out. But she beat me to it by asking me to her school formal, elated i accepted and in turn invited her to mine, This lit the fire that eventually gave me the last bit of nerve to ask her out. I did so and she was elated. We scheduled a time for about 5 days later, but less then two days later she asked to move our date up to that night (we planed to see a movie), it was evident that she was as just as keen to go out as i was so we went out later that night. It was a bit aquard when we met up at the local shopping center. we walked around and chatted as we had about 1/2 an hour to kill before the movie started. at this point we were just chatting about random stuff. This is where i start getting a bit unsure, as we sat down, a bit unsure at first, until she put her head on my shoulder, and in response, as i didn't really know what to do, i put my arm around her and her response was to get as close to me as possible. this was perfectly fine and was what i had sort of expected to happen/what you were ment to do (this was the first date i had ever been on) i think we were both a bit nervous and didn't know what to expect form each-other. after about 10-15 minutes i shifted my head to look at her as this is something i could do all day, at this point it is sort of a blur in my memory, she jumped straight to the point and gave me the full and complete french kiss, as i had never kissed a girl before this was a huge shock to me, i had been trying to save up enough courage to give her a "quick peck" or something like that, at the end so this completely blew me away! this went on for far amount of time until we had to pause for breath! from this point on i cant tell you what was happening in the movie because i was so elated. as you can guess this removed all shreds of doubt in my mind that she liked me and gave me the courage to admit to myself that i had strong feelings about her also. Like me i believe she is a fairly shy person, althow i may be wrong about this or she just has feelings for me stronger then i through or stronger then i had hoped for, and this really blew me away. This was one of the most memorable moments of my life. since that happy day some 3-4 days ago i have been unable to get her out of my head day and night. we have tryed to make times to meet up since then but by the look of it this wont happen for at-least two weeks since we first went out as i have to go away for a week. The problem is that while i am away for this week the only real form of contact i can have with her is by sms. Like me she is not comfortable with the idear of phone conversations, althow for her i would work my ass off to overcome this phobia and she has hinted that she may like to try also. This problem is really really like her. Until the weeks leading up to her asking me to her formal i had not been able to see my own attraction to her but since then i have come to realize that the one of the main reasons i, unlike most other classes, i did not dislike that class, and i now know that it was because of the wonderful company of this person even thow i considered us as just "friends" at that stage. The problem is that i am really attracted to this person, she is one of the nicest, funniest, kindest most compassionate people i think i have ever met and i would love to openly express these feelings to her as i think in some way. I dont know if she feels the same way, but i like to hope she does, even if it is to a much smaller degree. However i am not sure and i do not want to scare her or make her uncomfortable or anything like that. I dont know if i will be able to drum up the courage to show this or anything like this to her as i dont want to embaraise her or myself or damage what is there, by opening up to her. The point i am trying to make is that i dont really know what is going through my head at the moment, i feel like i need to speed down the road of like at 200km/h an hour but i am scared at that speed i might blow a tire and skid off the road, and that is the last thing i would want to do.
slubberdegullion Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Swherdman; Ahh, the rush of young love. I remember it well. From her actions towards you, as described in your post, it seems pretty clear that she's very interested in you. You're a lucky man; many young women have a difficult time expressing their feelings to a partner for fear of rejection, especially in the early stages of a relationship. The blizzard of feelings you're experiencing right now is nothing new, although it may be new to you. I would not, alas, recommend driving down the road at breakneck speed just to release some of the tension. First of all, enjoy these feelings. The are too rare to be suppressed or dismissed. There will come a time in the future when such strong and positive emotions are more difficult to attain, so enjoy them while you swim in them. Secondly, it's likely that she's feeling pretty much the same way as you (though I hope she doesn't give in to her desires to drive with a lead foot). Sometimes, just knowing that her emotions are in similar turmoil as yours takes some of the pressure off. Try to relax a bit. Take a deep breath. So what if you don't see her for a while? It's the same for her; she very likely feels all the insecurities and concerns about being apart too. If you don't like using the phone, that's really no big deal. Just communicate in the way that you're comfortable. If that means computer messaging, emails, texting or whatever, do what feels right for both of you. Since your time together is limited because of circumstances beyond your control, that makes your time together even more precious. So instead of focusing on the time spent apart, try to focus your enjoyment on the time you have together. Now, I'll admit that I'm not a big fan of movie or club dates. In a movie, you and she are more focused on the screen, and in a club it's generally too loud and busy to really communicate with one another. That doesn't mean that the only alternative is an expensive restaurant. Go for a walk in the park. (If either of you have a dog, that's a great excuse to get out. Dogs are natural matchmakers.) Play a board game together. But whatever you do, communicate. Learn about each other, and about yourselves. Soon enough you'll start to develop some sexual feelings towards each other. But maybe that's a topic for another thread. Congratulations.
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