Commongoal123 Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 I'm not here to share a personal story, but rather see what others opinions are regarding mixed messages from a partner or an ex. For example: They say and act in conflicting ways, such as reach out after breaking up and being flirtatious, while simultaneously making statements like "It would have never worked between us". Or, a partner saying they want to be with you and acting like they do, and then also saying "they can't do this" and acting like they don't. And a thousand other examples. I think it depends on the person saying and acting in such ways, and it can range from a legitimate desire to be together coupled with fear of intimacy and rejection, to straight up gaslighting. Thoughts? -Common
PRW Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 It makes perfect sense when you don't expect people to be machines or Dating Robots.
basil67 Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 People get confused and do confusing things. The best thing you can do is change your own environment so that you're not impacted by it. Hence: Breaking up and no contact.
Watercolors Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 Mixed messages are a red flag. If someone treats you nice one minute, than is abusive the next minute, that is a mixed message and a warning that the person is not trustworthy at all with their intentions towards you.
schlumpy Posted August 21, 2019 Posted August 21, 2019 In my opinion its a sign of an internal struggle. Example: The man who is drawn to a girl his family disapproves of may act erratic as he bounces back and forth between the two spheres of influence in his head: his attraction and his family's unhappiness with his selection. He's trying to resolve the mental conflict.
The Outlaw Posted August 21, 2019 Posted August 21, 2019 Some people aren't ever really sure of what they want. But personally, it's something I wouldn't do. You either want a relationship or you don't.
mark clemson Posted August 21, 2019 Posted August 21, 2019 A lot depends on the specifics of the situation and the specific mixed messages. Think the posts above point out some good specific cases. IMO it can range from indicating a full-blown personality disorder or even mental illness/disorganized thoughts to just attempting to soften the distress of a breakup (with a wide range of possibilities within those two end points, as well as the mentioned possibility of mixed feelings, temporary emotional confusion, etc).
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